I’m not so worried about telling a lot of crazy jokes, but rather that I can come up with a good half of them or complement them on the go.

The call was now.

Good day! My name is Vadim. We monitor the quality of Internet and television services. There are a lot of complaints about the quality of the internet.

Sorry to interrupt, how many complaints?

Well, a lot...

So how much?

Well 15.

Did you know that this is a private house and there is only one owner?

Sorry... hanging the phone.

At least amused.

If an elephant runs in front of you, go away, you will meet the one from whom it is fleeing.

The lady with the sting:

I looked at the kids at school today when I was taking theirs away. Here in the form (it includes a shirt or shirt necessarily) it is perfectly visible, whose parents are ruined to buy a shell, and who "modern fabrics in the shell do not need". Well, this is a personal affair of everyone, but the third class, especially the girls, and the irritation can start. Learn in advance to give what :) once such principles in the family.

Is it not? Just some of my kids in swimsuits, boy polo shirts, and trickery girl shirts, no one ever bothered. In the list of the 100 best schools of Russia, our school is not in the top ten. In primary school, I remember, at the gathering somehow hinted hard on poplin shirts and classic shirts, but we decided that it was better to read or walk with the children than to have fun with the oak all night.

There is a contactless zoo. (Photo of the cats)
Type - feed the feed, and do not touch the skin?
and UGU. An unprincipled creature.
Just like kids :)
to the point.

here here :

Video to the studio, how you wash the shirt for 7 minutes )) Very looking forward to this twist )

Well, that is, an hour is not a turn, but 5-7 minutes is a turn? Something is wrong with you, seriously.

Theatre costume workers smooth a men’s shirt in 40 seconds. These are the pervers, right?

from recall

On a common ticket, you can ride in a armored wagon in a bunch of wild babouins. From this trip, the son just ate, so he was so happy to see him like him.

xxx: Can you somehow determine by the sound of the keys which password the user enters?
Yyy: If he puts him on the piano, it’s fine.

I don’t understand people who are drunk writing to ex. I’m usually so upset that the only thing I have to write is this will.

He took care of me in 11th grade. Everyone is good, an outstanding, a winner of all kinds of school Olympiads, and a face-to-face. All my friends were jealous of me. We were friends at first, and then it ended. No one knew why, and many in the class considered me a cold-blooded man. The guy gives gifts, and she is still nomadic - does not take, it would still be a super-beautiful girl, and then the most ordinary girl, not a bad guy of course, but not a beautiful woman obviously.



I didn’t tell anyone the reason, but now I’ll tell you. The case is long ago. He accompanied me somehow to the house, although he lived in a different micro district. And then, along the way, a local spaniel came to us, saying that it was time for us to share money and pieces. The hat was immediately taken off of me. I didn’t have time to look around, as my prince wasn’t there. This is real – he just was there – and he is no longer. Only dust in the column. The cops climbed and let’s roar: “Well, you’ve found a guy! "It was really offensive - straight to tears, although they did not touch me, even the hat was returned.



The next day he himself approached me and, hiding his eyes, said, he said, there was no other way out, and I still run fast (the school record on the hundred meters is still mine), I could overtake him.

I operated my brain a lot, and when I opened the skull box, I never saw a mind there. And conscience too.

Yes Yes Yes. And yesterday I removed the hard drive with the comp and developed it, and I did not find any programs there, only some shiny circles on the stick. There is something hidden from us ;-)

xxx and wau recall a joint trip to Italy and a Venetian mask store:

It was a great mask!
and no.
XHH: Imagine how beautiful it is to crawl in it!
No, I will not introduce you.
I will give you everything right away if you leave.
WOW: Here is the name.
In such a mask you can slide for a whole year...
UUU: xxx, this is called "hop-stop".
K.O.L. Y.D.K

My wife and I were driving in a bus, but we were sitting in different places. We prepare for the exit, a boyfriend is behind me, and a wife is behind him. We get out of the bus and at the same time give my wife hands. Second confusion, she takes my palm, the guy instantly turns red and begins to move away. I scream, “This is my wife! and. When he turned around, there was such relief and a badly hidden joy on his face that we could not hold back the laughter.

Replacement of imports

Oh, the Germans are the Germans! Génzel and Grétel Hänsel und Gretel), diminishing German names from Johannes and Margaret. 0 - O

And in Jora from George, Shura from Alexander, Lola from Olga and Nure from Anna, nothing surprises you?

xxx: Interesting, and if you find a part of someone's finger phalanges in the sardine, is it in the supervision to call or immediately to the police?
yyy: In the bureau of findings, the police now have no deal with such a figure - someone is openly walking on blocked sites on the Internet. The most important problem, apparently, is not.

You, the dude, have not seen your own brain. I also have SAP R3 :)

It reminded. St. Luke (Voyno-Yasenetsky), a Stalin Prize winner for "Discourses of Pneumatic Surgery," once replied to the question of how he, a doctor with a brilliant education and many years of experience, can believe in God:
“I have done a lot of brain surgery and when I opened the skull box, I never saw a mind there. And conscience too.

xxx: I hit the search engine "distance to the polar star". "Yandex" instantly gives me: "494 kilometers (right)". The supporters of the flat Earth seem to be right in something.)

I’m not scared, the search engine too. 494 km is the distance from me to the village of the same name in Mordovia. But the feeling that the universe has changed a lot over the summer was untranslatable.)

Commentary on the article about the DTP:
reader: "he cut down a tree and crashed into a house" - almost a real man. I had something else to do with my son.

One day, when I was still in school, my father had a “genial” idea of sending me to school. Now it is admitted that he heard then fairy tales about how the military "cool" lives. So, I didn’t want to go to school at all, but my father wasn’t broken. Destroyed the authority. I had to submit documents. At school, I was told that I needed certificates from doctors. I was given a list of necessary certificates and sent to collect them across all hospitals. Part of the certificates have already been collected. I go to the office and I don’t remember who.

What worries you, young man?

I show him a paper from school.

So you gathered!

The type of that.

So mean listen. I look at you and I see that you are not healthy. I cannot give you a certificate. If you really want to go to school, bring your parents here tomorrow. We will somehow agree, the doctor quickly wrote on a paper from the school and issued another piece of paper.

I left the doctor’s office in shock and let’s read quickly what he wrote there. I read, and I unwillingly appear a smile. And he wrote me a terrible illness, in my opinion, a defect of the heart. A miracle in the eye!

Naturally, I did not say anything to my father for the dialogue with the doctor, but silently took this writing back to school. There I was given a turn off and another paper with an official refusal. I showed this refusal to my father and he left me behind with the school theme.

At first I had a plan specifically to fail the exams, but everything went much better.

Doctor, I want to thank you for making my life easier. I hope you are not working anymore.

It is said, “Man is created for happiness,” but for whom, it is not said.