bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №104544
 24.10.2014
Instead of a normal solution to the problem, she tries to manipulate through sex.
××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Also my grandmother!!! A man cannot be punished neither by bed nor by lunch. And both, after all, he will be able to find elsewhere if he is hungry.
On this topic an anecdote: the wife on her husband is offended, they do not talk. After a while, the husband rattles with an offer of intima. Wife: “Okay, just go back, my eyes’t see you.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104543
 24.10.2014
here here :
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I slept when I was 30 years old.
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Do you play a lotto in a special form? This is a maritime battle.
— — — —
He doesn’t say they’re different women. Per a long relationship.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104542
 24.10.2014
It was very fun to read jokes about a guy with a 14-centimeter penis - exactly before the moment I read that it was necessary to measure from above :-(

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104541
 24.10.2014
I have never seen an advertisement like this.

I need help! At the Vitebsky station next to the rubbish bunch lives the wonderful man Vicenty Palych Zyuzin. The poor homeless man is extremely exhausted, he has both eyelids beaten, deep scars on his legs, a long confused beard and, worst of all, cirrhosis of the liver.

The former hostess put him out on the street, and Vicenty remained alone with a heavy reality. He needs a long course of treatment, the help of psychologists, but not only that... The main thing is attention, affection and care!
____________________________________________
No touch is touching. Barbos and Murziki, who are so trying to accommodate, are victims of circumstances that themselves can not influence the situation and are not guilty that the situation arose. And Palych Zuzin, who swallowed the apartment or licked the drunken "ex-husband", until she didn’t herself swallow the bean and decided not to get rid of it. If he wants to change something, let him take ***U in his hands and beat the social centers. The papers are scary, but they obviously won't fall asleep!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104540
 24.10.2014
“Sasha, what is the name of the emblem in the document I removed? Type of logo
Herb of the Russian Federation

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104539
 24.10.2014
There is such a story with Robert Shelley. I don’t remember what it’s called =(
We live in a terrible time. Whatever science fiction you have not thought of, that science fiction you have not said - this has already been written by Shekley.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104538
 24.10.2014
by JJ:
The girls sit on the bench. Such adults. There’s something behind the back, but the glasses don’t hide. Smoking, smoking and not going home.

Kasper passes by, looks at this bouquet and says in a good way:
Girls, what a big rat you have under the store!

This was a shaker, guys, such a shaker.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104537
 24.10.2014
Kuma about the baptist said: The child had a tooth, he was told to hide it under the pillow, the kind of kindergarten will return home - there the mouse will pull him a gift for the tooth...The mouse drew Lego designer...so he after a few days a healthy tooth pulled out. Speaking was painful and there was a lot of blood, but Lego had already wanted it very much, the whole hour of sleep was shaken.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104536
 24.10.2014
The Antique.

Teacher: Tell me, how could you scare the ancient Greeks?
A terrifying description of monsters.
The Arsenic: PF To scare the ancient Greeks?
"The wine is over!" - "Aaaaaaaaaaa!!and "
"Orgies only twice a week!" - "Aaaaaaaaa!!and "

Waking up philosophers

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №104535
 24.10.2014
...So I, thoroughly offended, took the scissors and cut the openings for the eyes in the curtains)) I stand and look at myself. Well, the child's logic - nothing is moved away, all conditions are fulfilled.)

My mom was constantly upset that I was packing my socks on my knees. Once again, after the moral execution, I left for a short time. He returned joyfully to his mom with the cut holes in these places: "Mom, look! Now the clothes are not dirty!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104534
 24.10.2014
here here :

This is:
I walk past the stop late in the evening, smoke hunting and smoke nothing. And there are two teenagers sitting in the darkness in some clothed hats. Let me go guys, let me smoke. They started kissing at the same time. Both the boy and the girl were offended. Uncomfortable overall.
and
Remember, you have to talk "children".
= the =

Better so: "Children, let’s smoke"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104533
 24.10.2014
How you got your multi-word notion of marriage and the unexpected troubles associated with it! There is an old good saying: a man marries in the hope that a woman will not change. A woman marries in the hope of re-educating a man. So get out now.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104532
 24.10.2014
If I break up with him, I will live with a cat.
XXX: The Hope
XXX: Beginning of Mimi
XXX and then...
The cat is always mimic.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №104531
 24.10.2014
We had an action at our office today.
To those who climbed the stairs, instead of an elevator, they were given a slice of celery wrapped in a healthy lifestyle advocate.
xxx: I look at the squash on the sides, and the people are sitting each in their own compartment, stumbling in the monitor and chewing this celery.
XXX: Reminds me a little bit

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104530
 24.10.2014
to this:
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
in contact: on the photo keys from VAZ classics:

The comrades!! Let’s try to help the man who lost his keys most likely from the car. I found them on Larina Street, near the crossing with Kashchenko on a pedestrian trail on the first day of the “winter” in Nizhny Novgorod Thank you for reposting!!! to

The xxx:
I have not yet seen a more accurate definition of the Jigsaw. I’m driving a car "Most likely a car"))
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
I remembered an anecdote. The Miracle Field program. Yakubovich: So today in prizes: Lada Priora, Lada Grant, and, of course, the superprize - AAAAAAAAAafffffftamobil!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104529
 24.10.2014
Brands "I am Russian!!!" and "Caucasian power!!Slowly but steadily enriched the modest Bangladesh shirt manufacturers.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104528
 24.10.2014
Oh, an old quotation on the topic of the birth of the hollywood!

about sex
There is no sex after birth!! That is, it is only wanted by maniacs, for whom even a baby bottle with a nipple causes inappropriate associations. Normal mothers fall into bed in the evening, so exhausted that the thought of harassment even from the husband causes nerve seizures. Therefore, it is better to prepare the spouse for this sad discovery in advance, and even better - to drop on him a part of the trouble about the child, after which he will want to.(c) the

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104527
 24.10.2014
Telephone conversation of the mother (M) with the son (C) about the discussion in school:

Q: How are your discussions?
Q: What kind of shit?? to
A: I think of it!! to
Q: What is the prize???! to
M is running.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104526
 24.10.2014
to this:
the men. Do you want advice?
Get rid of women as soon as possible.
They use sex as a tool.
manipulation of you. The guy didn’t take the rubbish.
There will be no sex today. came home
Late and drunk - a week without sex. A month without sex.
____
Yes, a thousand times yes! Lazy, dumb alcoholics with a sense of humor, like fools, throw away their women, make them happy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104525
 24.10.2014
xxx: by the idea you must already be in shit and your tongue must already be intertwined... and your fingers are intertwined... because it is Friday and also your holiday.
ZZZ: Thursday
zzz: I think I’ve ruined your mood for the whole day now))
XXX: The Blind

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