bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104384
 21.10.2014
My daughter came back from a walk. I ask what they saw. Well, he says, next to the house, a movie is being filmed, the whole street was blocked by the police.
P.S Burunduk turned out to be a Bondarchuk.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №104383
 21.10.2014
If you take from the receipt the column "capital repair" and multiply the amount from it by the number of apartments in our entrance, then there is a natural question:
Where is the oak parquet, the glass windows, and the Swiss in a library, welcomingly opening the entrance door?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104382
 21.10.2014
In the student community group:
Who wants to make money right now?
The comments:
1st I will not sell drugs.
2nd Who to kill?
Three I will not sell slaves.
4 is I will not give the kidneys either.
5 is I would like to know some formalities.
6 is No need anymore.
7 is ( by

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104381
 21.10.2014
Where to meet a guy if I am a housewife?
22 in the Dota

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104380
 21.10.2014
to this:
Coffee: So Facebook and Instagram can sell my photos?
Merlin Dietrich: Remember one thing forever, if you use a resource and do not pay for it, then you are not a customer, you are a commodity.
At the same time, remember that even paying for the resource. The difference is that in the first case you have profits when they sell, and in the second when they sell and when you give.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104379
 21.10.2014
Playing in strategy, I suddenly realized that I applied to the game the principle of the Communists, first of all, the production of means of production for rapid development.

I knew Zen.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104378
 21.10.2014
All his childhood on airplanes 2-3 times a year with some colleagues commander sent.
Once, when I stopped a man from drinking, and asked him to play chess with me for the hundredth time, he said that if I didn’t stop, he would beat me. I didn’t knock it, but just left it at the airport on arrival, not waiting for anyone to meet me. This was accompanied by an explanatory note.
Interestingly, my grandfather (his boss by the way), read this note, broke me well.. then I flew quietly and did not hinder my accompanying uncles to calmly drink their deserved cognac.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104377
 21.10.2014
The date. The guy tries to make a compliment:"I like you so much that you have no cosmetics! Beautiful from nature! The girls are...".
And I sit like this... a toner, a cutter, a towel, a milligram of mask, a pencil for eyebrows... a moisturizing, refreshing cream, scraps, masks, a tonic.
From nature, of course.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №104376
 21.10.2014
So pleasant, sitting in a comfortable chair, wrapped in a warm
Inhaling the smell of fresh coffee.
and watch how the various colored leaves revolve in the last
Dance... but the fucker has to get up and go to work!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104375
 21.10.2014
Note to the accountant: if you simultaneously open Chrome, Outlook and Photoshop on the computer, then 1C will brake as usual, but you will not be so offended for it ;)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104374
 21.10.2014
Managers are burning. Gave a text for a page-blind about conducting technical work with a huge headline: "Cuming soon". This is the pleasure of work :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104373
 21.10.2014
How to meet after 30? Because if a woman over 30 is single, then most likely she is either a careerist, or she has some complexes in relationships with the opposite sex.
— — —
There’s another option – it’s waiting for you. This is rare, but it happens. Tested by own experience.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104372
 21.10.2014
I thought you were an educated interesting girl, and you have no interests in life!

Where do you find such dwarfs, and yet you know how to give birth to them.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104371
 21.10.2014
The style of a drunk master is the only skill you don’t drink.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
And let the snack steal the degree, but it is it that gives balance and balance to the drink you drink.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104370
 21.10.2014
to this
--------
How to meet after 30? Because if a woman over 30 is single, then most likely she is either a careerist, or she has some complexes in relationships with the opposite sex.
--------
What a wonderful set of stamps. According to you, if you realized that you live with an irresponsible goat, then you need to "until death separates you" to try to live. And if you leave it, you will be a “carrierist” or “with complexes”.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104369
 20.10.2014
I realized I was spending too much time at work when Google now offered me the address to do homework. And the address of the house marked as a job)))

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104368
 20.10.2014
[Moredhel] to [Milana Ranewska]
Biana, will you join us in prayer? Well, kind of goddess, let a terrible punishment, plague, lightning be struck by all the priests who engage in homosexuality!
[dfhhzdfbh] to [Moredhel]
If you walk, stand, if you fall. Who will stay in the churches?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №104367
 20.10.2014
A friend called in the billay because of the complete absence of inite. The first call is half an hour of waiting and the advice to restart the phone. The second call - another half an hour of waiting and a country explanation for the absence of inertia in some regions. The third call connects with the chief manager. He is genuinely interested in why we need the internet. A friend replies that you need to look at the electricity schedules. The manager dictates the schedule and turns off. The problem, so to speak, is solved.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104366
 20.10.2014
Oh my girl! Once there was an extortion for illiteracy - "You see a mistake - consider a smile".
I, with this internet, also now often smile.
Oh, but please stop ridding ?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104365
 20.10.2014
From a listening conversation. Two widows are talking.
It’s been five years and I’m worried about it...I loved it so much.
I am angry at my own. Imagine all your savings, two hundred thousand, put on your teeth. Implants are done. He died a week later. by GAD.
and FF

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna