bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55116
 18.10.2011
The girl’s thoughts (the guy doesn’t call after the first sex):
I was too accessible and I don’t care about it anymore – 78%
He didn’t like sex with me – 12%
He is a senseless cattle and he is foolish to fool me - 9%
He is just very busy and has no time to call him - 1%

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №55115
 18.10.2011
Krasa74: It is said that in the West it is extremely inappropriate to meet on the street. But if the guy saw the girl on the street, he liked her - how to meet her, so that it is decent?
ilovemymonkey: drag her into the room
Yalexey: You can go to the entrance or to the subway. Just in the bushes. meet up there.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №55114
 18.10.2011
koriot: It’s interesting, when you’re under 29, you’re a clever, untouched guy, a beautiful brunette agrees with you to reinstall her windows at home for baking. Is that what it is called?

Dusty: At 29 you should go to brunettes at least raise a domain for a couple of thousands of users with affiliates, and not for a cookie, but at least for a cake.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №55113
 18.10.2011
There is a group of people sitting on the shift, reading a magazine. I ask :
What are you reading?
The Cosmopolitan
*Look at the cover - "Gaming"*
– is...
The fucking! Remove gambling in the bag, get a cosmopolitan
O_O

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №55112
 18.10.2011
I now understand how bad people have been doing us since childhood.
A child comes from the garden and says:
We learned a new poem...
Which one?
- "Good morning - I am a deer"

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55111
 18.10.2011
How to burn ready blenders?
NN: Well, you fill the oil...
How are the cakes?
NN: Yes, like the cocktails.
HQ : thank you.

[ + 55 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55110
 18.10.2011
Gary Oldman (March 21, 1958) younger than Gary Newman (March 8, 1958) by 13 days

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №55109
 18.10.2011
The fools, who previously placed the power button above the arrow keys on conventional keyboards, now place it above the Escape key on the laptops keys.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №55108
 18.10.2011
A guy and a girl sit in the bus, holding hands.
Part of Dialogue:
You are a girl, and who are you?! to
She is: I? I am your tumor. We are symbiots, I am beautiful and smart, and you eat.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №55107
 18.10.2011
by VKontakte:

Alexander removed the page with the words:
I barely found that fucking button.)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №55106
 18.10.2011
XXX: The Mirror
Zzz: the grasses suck at the tyrants :)
yyy: I don’t even want to imagine what it looks like)))))))

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №55105
 18.10.2011
I remember when I was in school. Someone put a scene "when the teachers were young":
The first English words were taught by the boys in the courtyard... and only much later she learned that they were not English words at all.
A computer scientist from childhood loved to work on a computer, but since computers did not exist then, he did not like to work... so he did not like to work.
A mathematician from childhood loved to count to ten, then she grew up and her mother allowed her to count to half eleven.

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55104
 18.10.2011
I was on the metro today. I listen to music in my headphones. There is no scene. A bald drunk man draws to a couple and says something. The guy jumps up and starts cleaning the man’s face. I take off the headphones and I hear: “Peter is the cultural capital, go on, be it!” The first thought - the man emphasis did not say so.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №55103
 18.10.2011
by bulgolga15:
In Russia, there is only one speed limit: the flashing headlights of a car.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №55102
 18.10.2011
"You have filled the account for the amount of 0 rubles. Thank you" sent me my dear MTS today.
No for what! Contact us, we are always happy to help! and :)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №55101
 18.10.2011
From the instructions of a collar from fleas, for cats.
The necklace should be worn 2-3 days before meeting with the parasites.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №55100
 18.10.2011
Our server works like a sand clock. After a while, everything has to be remodeled.

[ + 47 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55099
 18.10.2011
xxx: I pretended that if I made sex a sport, it would be cool

XXX: Sex on the LMDA. and synchronous sex. 10 of sex.

XXX: Table sex

XXX: Sex in the High

XXX: There will be comments.

XXX is a great passage. By the way!!! to

XXX is eleven meters!! to

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Pope to Pope!and "

xxx: "Ura, our take off the national team of Andorra!"

[ + 38 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55098
 18.10.2011
Listen: I go on a one-sided, meet the mercy in my left row. I walk in, I stop, the window is open. I am her:
This is a one-way road with unilateral traffic.
Go to Nashville!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №55097
 18.10.2011
XXX: I generally believe that when choosing a profession you cannot be guided by mercantile motives. I went to medicine to help people.
YYY: What is the specialty?
XXX is pathologist.

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