If on Monday you put the alarm "on early" the probability of falling asleep increases by 200 percent.... checked(((

I remember a life case from my childhood (I was 10 years old:
“I came out on the street. I go down the stairs and find a packed prefix on the platform between the floors. I, without a back mind, put him in my pocket. I walked and walked, remembered it, returned home: I went to the kitchen, unpacked the prefix in the kitchen, then went to the bathroom, there picked up water, then went to the balcony, dropped the prefix from the 7th floor, that beautifully fell and broke, I went happily to walk on. In the evening, returning home - my mom with eyes opened, asked me about something, I didn't understand the question, I said to the guy that I wasn't in the courses...and already going to bed I remembered that in the middle of the kitchen table I left the printed package of the prefix...Yes, I imagine what kind of lilies my father first got, and after the older brother was flogged (he was 13 at the time))))....

I lived in the USSR for 10 years.
I spent my childhood under a red flag with a serpent and a hammer.
I was wearing a blue school shirt with a wallet on my back.
I went to the demonstration with nails in my hand.
I was a Octoberman and I was proud to wear the October Star.
From the second grade I knew the anthem of the Soviet Union.
I hardly managed to get into the pioneers.

November 7th is the day of the Great October Socialist Revolution.
Who is in the topic ;)

There is a small rain, people with umbrellas.A man of 17 years stands in a mobile, a woman passes by and accidentally hits his umbrella on his face.
You do it, Holi!
and??? to
Oh mom, hello
_________________________________________________________________________
In the air again the program "in the world was".

I play in WOW. I go to Ride with my friends, I’m the leader. After pressing the lever, a cage with the boss opens. I write in the message window:
We wave, we wave, we wave!
These idiots were all moving somewhere, far from the boss.
“Bossa Walim, I say!! to

So, one day in the city of St. Petersburg was a solemn concert on the occasion of some important date - the day of the city, maybe, or something else there. The concert was attended by Valentina Ivanovna and other wonderful people.
The composition of those performing at such concerts has not changed for many years: the Musketer Boyarsky in a hat, the good Doctor Rosenbaum, the curly composer Cornelyk, the elderly but still fit Lyudmila Sencina, well, and the immortal Edith Piech (sometimes with her grandson) and Edward Hill, whom I remember for more years than I live in this world. than they are rich.

And then suddenly comes on stage the composer Karavajchuk.
...
In short, it is such a composer that some consider him an absolute genius, and others a complete idiot.
...
When he is invited to perform somewhere, he removes his only ever-washed cushion from his pillow to put it on his head during the performance.

...

Well, and so, this composer Caravaychuk comes out to the microphone and says with his unspeakably disgusting whispering voice: "Dear friends! All you heard was a terrible fight. For those who think he’s heard, I repeat: PO-E-BE. And now we’ll listen to music".

And in the dead silence, in which not even Valentina Ivanovna whispered, the composer Karavaychuk sat down for the piano, put on his head a knot and played something magical.

c) LJ Gorchev

Do you like to bite a chair when no one sees you?

6: not eating

Do you like the public? You are a shark ;)

The husband said to the dog, when she tried to push the bark into the system:
You’re more careful, there you’ll be drunk with electricity first, and then with a taburet. The second is much more painful"

XXX is Hi! Tell me about the most powerful weapon in the stalker!! to
Zzzz: It is HUGE! 1!!! to

From the Hearing:

If you can’t have who you want, learn to want who you want.
You have.

There are many stories about the wonders of the North American Femida. A cat in the microwave, for example. How sperm donors receive food
(There was no such thing.) Or about compensation of a million dollars for too hot coffee (and this is true, bigmakers in the pursuit of speed of service spoiled all the norms, aunt cooked the most important and remained disabled). Here is another story from the same series.

To the details in advance, please do not struggle, the original material was in English, and I read in English without a dictionary. That is, if I don’t understand something, I don’t go into the dictionary, but I include fantasy. And if I only understood the pretext, then I miss this proposition as non-essential and move on to the next.

The story begins in a sleepy Canadian town from those where nothing has happened for years. Two speed excesses, a bicycle theft and a drunk fight - the police already believe that a troublesome week has been issued. And here such an outraged police officer found on the side of the road a speck of blood and a bunch of white feathers, that is, clear signs of violation of the recently adopted law on the protection of small birds, the Small Birds Act.

A quick inspection of the scene of the incident brought evidence: a footprint of a horse copt, a footprint of shoes of thirty-eighth size and a revolver gear. This allowed to narrow the circle of suspects to the limit: the only owner in the town of the half-deathed pony, "Smith-Wesson" and thirty-eighth foot was a proud descendant of the true masters of the places, heavily drunk Indian Fred Odzhibuay. An employee of the nearest gas station confirmed that Fred had jumped in the indicated direction since morning.

The Indian was found on the floor of his cottage in his usual condition, completely excluding any testimony.
However, the bloody spot on the shoe and the feathers attached to the heel completely denounced him. The trial took place a week later. Usually cases of this scale are considered by the judge alone, but here, apparently also from boredom, a full-fledged trial was arranged with the prosecutor and a lawyer appointed by the state. Fred at the time shuddered, though not to the end, but enough to tell the lawyer how it was.

The prosecutor demanded the highest measure: $200 fine or 3 months in prison in case of failure to pay. Then the lawyer asked for the words.

“Your honor,” he said, “the circumstances of the case are such. On January 2, 1965, my defendant was riding on road 406 in the direction of the city.
of Santa Caterina. In the place indicated in the police report, the pony was unfortunate to break his leg. Mr. Odibui, guided by the considerations of humanism and the customs of his tribe, shot the animal to avoid unnecessary torture and buried it near the road. The defense has an exhumation protocol and an expert's conclusion that the blood traces found by the police belong to the buried animal.

As for the origin of the feathers, the fact is that my defendant, being in tight financial circumstances, sold the saddle and since then, while riding, was forced to cover his back with a pony feathering pillow. The store owner confirmed that the feathers found at the scene are identical to those used to fill the pillows.

Thus, I ask that the case be terminated for the absence of crime, since my defendant shot not a bird, but a pony.
Since Mr. Prosecutor is not able to distinguish a horse from a bird on his own, I can offer a few reliable criteria. In particular, birds do not roar, but sing, they do not wear podkov and can not carry cargo.
According to all these signs, it is obvious that the deceased pony did not belong to the class of birds, but was a mammal of a group of non-spiders. If the respectable prosecutor was not convinced by my arguments, I only have to offer him to go back to the junior group of kindergarten where such things take place.”

The last passage was not to be said. The prosecutor felt offended and gave a response:

“Your honor, I am not challenging the factual side of the matter. Undoubtedly, from a home point of view, the pony is not a bird. But we are interested in whether it is it from the point of view of the law, and this is a completely different matter. I will immediately revoke the criteria carried out by my opponent concerning rugging, subcoating and cargo transportation. Within the framework of this court case, we are not interested in the voice of the subject, his clothes, or the kind of occupation. We are only interested in its status from the point of view of the law on the protection of small birds.

According to Appendix No. 1, by bird within the scope of this law is understood any animal that has two legs and is covered with feathers.
Let us consider the first criterion first. Did the dead pony have two legs? He had more than two of them. I am convinced that the number mentioned in the law is a minimum requirement, not a limit. For example, if the law provides tax benefits for those with two children, then these benefits should be granted to those with four children. This is a completely similar case.

Let us now consider the second requirement. Was the pony covered with feathers? My opponent himself has confirmed this. The pony was covered with a pillow, the pillow had feathers, therefore, according to the law of transitivity, we have the right to claim that the feathers covered the pony. Of course, they did not grow on it, but the law says nothing and that the feathers must belong to the animal by birth.

We do not know for sure if the pillow was on the back of the pony at the time of the murder. But it does not matter. After all, if you pull out all the feathers, for example, the foam, it won’t stop being a bird, isn’t it? To recognize an animal as being protected by the law on the protection of small birds, it is sufficient that the feathers are on his back at least at some point in his life.

The judge did not find anything to object to such a justified statement. The Poor
Fred was sentenced to three months in prison, which, however, was not something special for him. And the prosecutor’s speech is now quoted in American legal textbooks.

A man enters the doctor’s office with his hand tied.
My hand hurts very much! Per a fracture or a bruise.
Do your eyes hurt?
But only the hand.
Does the dog not hurt?
No is! The hand!! Why are you asking such stupid questions?! to
“Because I have a ‘urologist’ written on my door in these letters!

by Andrew (c)

Excerpt from the description of the book on self-defense with cold weapons.

Throwing a knife is also a great rest and entertainment. And then, agree, because it is so pleasant sometimes to hit someone of your acquaintances with an impressive throw!
and...
How about otherwise? It is pleasant *)

I am standing at the stop, drinking a beer, not touching anyone. From a distance, two typical bombs approach me - in old dirty jackets, in dinamics, in Soviet hats - and pull the carts, simultaneously squeezing empty beer bottles from urns. They approach me and I hear their dialogue:
So, I went through the last Resident Ivel.
“Well, fucking your Resident Ivel, Stalker is more interesting!
For me, this is a chorus:
Don’t throw away the bottle!

Oh, the hero of ourselves in Peter the Bomber.

to this:
I’m proud of two people: Gagarin and Newton.The one tried to wash off this planet, and the other proved that the first nihig won’t work.
_________________________________________
On the contrary: the second proved that no one would get out of here and the first (Russian, Hule) tried to prove that Nifiga:)))

I was called a young man again. I am, of course, a man, and very even a young, but female, grind!
God, give me my breasts! Or the eggs.

It's just we on Kamchatka have a taxi 'crazy turtle'??? to

No, the screw has not survived.... Left lying in the cryogenic until 2012... In a terrible court will be discharged - read))

Quilted
Have you arrived?

UPCREW
You’re talking to the bot!

Quilted
Are you a bot?

UPCREW
Yes Yes

Quilted
2 + 2 =?

UPCREW
4 is

Quilted
You are bot.

UPCREW
Or five, I don’t remember, I have an eban owner.

On October 10, about 18:20, a/port Sheremetyevo-2, landed A320, flight SU294/AZ7182. Long not serving the trap, the whole people stood up and crowded between the chairs. Then the stewardess announces: "Ladies and gentlemen, for technical reasons, the trap will be delivered to the door in the plane's tail. Business class passengers go in the back without a line".

After a second, the plane was shaken by a whistle... but nobody sat down, business but passaran!