bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №21253
 11.10.2009
In Russian the phrase is: “Not imposed!” It always meant that it was not put in the hand.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №21252
 11.10.2009
One of my distant relatives connected her life with a former prisoner of war, a German. A Wehrmacht motorcyclist, he was captured in the 42nd.
He survived terrible camps, was beaten and cut off. He spent 14 years in the camps of his 32s at the time of his liberation. Love for the Russian girl turned out to be strong and he remained in the Union, in the Saratov region. He never spoke about the horrors of war and the camps, he did not complain, but sometimes looked at his miraculously surviving military photo and said with a breath: "It was necessary to have
This is a motorcycle!

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №21251
 11.10.2009
1990 – The President of the USSR receives the Nobel Prize.
1991 – The USSR disappeared.
2009 – The President of the United States receives the Nobel Prize.
The whole world, holding its breath, awaits the New Year.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21250
 11.10.2009
Mik: Zdarova brother, with the passing you, how did you spend the day?
Gloom: Okay, but I just broke up with Lenka =(
Mik: Because of what? Direct to DR?
Gloom: Yes, do you remember her childhood friend Kirill? So she asked if he could come with a girl in the afternoon, well, I didn’t refuse... all were eaten short in the goff, here I am smurfing My Lenka with Kirill runs to the bedroom quietly...
Mik: Ahahahah, in the business :)
Gloom: Well, I am behind them, at the door I stood up and listened, I hear some screams and laughs, I pull the door, and she is closed, well I get angry, I go to the girl of Cyril and with a drunk voice I report that her Cyril is fucking my linen, we go together to the door she is also crossing the linen, she looks at me with burning eyes and begins to kiss, I give in, in a minute she is already on me with a cuddle and in this passionate moment the door opens, the linen and Cyril in the ah...
Mik: mda, you have brutally avenged)))))))
Gloom: So it turns out they have prepared a surprise for me there in the bedroom... a lace in tears and runs away, Cyril is behind her... short we have not spoken for three days...
How did this girl react?
Gloom: her name is Anya, she is in the shower, electricity from work came =))

[ + 104 - ] Comment quote №21249
 11.10.2009
It was in the late nineties, the year was not harvesting, the stockpiles were few, the trade was even less, and the winter was cold-hungry, so I decided to hit the grass and take the meat to the market. He struck, broke, loaded it in the trunk and went. At the entrance to the city of KP GAI, and the technical inspection was already as late as half a year, well, naturally, the mint stopped me, and I began to go for a bathtub. Well, and so I say on "punishment" there is no money. I look at him in the trunk and say "what luck do you have?" hints. Well, I had to open, I see him in a smile disappeared and said "not as much as a man, we will agree", and the cat's heart will scratch... the last is the time, sad to give! And he quietly picked up the best pieces of himself and mocked the mole. Paul the Pig took the shit. I go and even the tears turn, and who in the throat... and the insult is such a whisper! I came to the market, wiped up, I opened my luggage, and I saw that there are mentivsky gloves lying in them, and in them our money and not our stock which I have not seen until now!!! The pig did not sell. I bought it in the market and went back, but on another road... and that road I have never gone after!

Tagged. no

[ + 66 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21248
 11.10.2009
Dear visitors, throwing a large number of UGs into the Abyss! Thank you very much!

Every time I read quotes about who, where and how badly, I am overwhelmed by the awareness of how well I live. Judge for yourself: travel in transport costs us not 35 rubles, but 10-12; in our dining rooms you can eat from the pulp for 60-80 rubles (first + second + third), and not for 200+; in the universe I studied on the budget and did not know problems such as extortionists or tails; no bribery in GAI I did not pay, but after a month of study in the auto school I passed both theory and practice from the first time; I never had a relationship with girls that would use me; the list can continue.

Honestly, before reading all your outbreaks, I didn’t realize how happy I was. I sincerely hope we are so many. Therefore, people who have something wrong - I sincerely wish you everything to be just wonderful! Come to Irkutsk, we’re all fine. Inet, of course, is expensive (1000+ per month for megabit unlimited), real estate is inexpensive and expensive as everywhere, but in the rest - just great.

P.S. A man with dollars! And I wish you that it all starts to go wrong, but until then, please do not come.

P. P. S. Please raise it up to the best, maybe someone’s heart will be a little warmer. and ;)

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21247
 11.10.2009
A familiar yoghurt had to run through the "grassland" to a package with juice. Usually worked the physical method: behind the frame stood a man and kicked the yoghurt in the butt of the dryer, directing it to the right direction.
But there was some wrong yoghurt. I called a veterinarian at the zoo. He recommended smashing a pack of juice with cheese with mold. Yojig swung from half-turn, talentedly ran through the frame, wrapped the package and began to love him. We had to sleep again because the whole group just fell to the floor. and 😉

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №21246
 11.10.2009
and Ellie:
About the harsh humor of defenders)))
Mick told me today.
He works in the defense industry, you remember?

So here. He is eating lunch today in the dining room with the head of the neighboring department. They sit, talk peacefully, do not touch anyone. In the middle of the conversation runs an employee of the staff department, whose daughter is studying at the institute and works half-time in their institution. And wearing on the boss:
by Alexander Timofeevich. Why did you scare my child? It has a 10-year development plan for the company. Why did you tell her that in three years the Third World War would begin?! to

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №21245
 10.10.2009
In a Kazakh hotel, the girl behind the stand instead of the first page of Sorokin's passport revealed the difference with the Schengen visa:
Your name is Shenzener, right?
“We are all a little shengeners in this life,” Sorokin said, wiping tears.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №21244
 10.10.2009
Itsme
The End of the World 2012:
They say in 2012 there will be a third world war. chemical and biological weapons.
YYY: So prepare to become a mutant, although you may have immunity
XXX: I am drinking acetyl

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №21243
 10.10.2009
XXX: And yet the area of service has become better. I remember when we studied at school, you come to the pharmacy, you ask for condoms, and she asks you so with eggs and on the whole pharmacy: "And not too early yet!And you come and ask the condoms, and they are so polite: "What are you?"
Yyy: No, San, the area of service here has nothing to do. You just grew up.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №21242
 10.10.2009
xxx: watched the movie "All the fools always say no"???? to
Tagged: false
Xxx: Fuck... it didn’t work

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №21241
 10.10.2009
My wife works in a beauty salon. Grith, I stand next to a colleague who cuts a guy. During the haircut, he unfolds it to his face and says to him, “Switch your legs, I will cut the brick.” The salon fell.

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21240
 10.10.2009
XXX: fucking 10 minutes before the holiday... I was quieter before the wedding

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №21239
 10.10.2009
Axl: I heard that in order to get a job in Moscow now, you need to know at least a little Tajik language.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21238
 10.10.2009
Nosferatu: Have you read the Twilight?
Dangerous language: No
Dangerous language: only seen.
Nosferatu: How do you feel about the film?
Nosferatu: Have you seen the book?
Destroyed language: I saw through the window.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №21237
 10.10.2009
What does your nick mean?? to
It’s just a set of letters...

[ + 58 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21236
 10.10.2009
People who work as a cashier, ah niddhopp! I don’t know how to ask, so I’ll describe the situation.

Generally speaking, we have a large company with a lot of employees and everyone receives a different sp. Well, the cashiers issue different amounts absolutely calmly (publish on hand, with cards and banks while the company does not cooperate on these issues). And it turned out that I came to get a sp, and there a cute girl - a blonde, talking on the phone, instead of my earned 30k, gave me 300k rubles, and in papers writing that 30.

I, at first fell into a slight shock and could not react and now I sit at home and don’t know what to do. On the one hand, the hollow and for the enterprise is not a fatal damage, and on the other hand, I wonder what will happen to a nice cashier? Can she be forced to pay? I don’t really want someone to get a deadline because of my hoax.

No need to bring to the top, just ask the accountants to answer, I will be very grateful.

[ + 80 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21235
 10.10.2009
She: Here we put the jeans under the trousers in the winter so that it is warmer, and how do you manage not to freeze?
He: And we don’t shave our feet.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21234
 10.10.2009
We have a group, we play guitar. A girl, 7 years old. He wants to work with us. Let’s show you how to play guitar. The child looks at us with admiration in the eyes. We finished playing and asked:
How about you?
You are like a morning.
The whole group thought of killing the child, the wounded, or himself.

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