bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №145283
 02.10.2017
(C)Porto with Geektimes

"-We are in one large gravitational hole of the entire Galaxy."

This is what scientists say! Not "in the opera", but "in the gravitational pit"!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145282
 02.10.2017
How can a teacher teach without a school? to rehearse? And what, will he be able to write an attestation on the middle education of at least one child?

children, before throwing the dirt type "generation EGE" (ha, I universe finished years before... before the invention of EGE), study the match. There is "family education": the child studies at home, and in school only passes the exams and the same GIA-EGE. For these purposes, parents can even take money from the state, usually given to the school. Several such parents unite and hire such teachers to arrange them. As a result, the child also receives education, and the certificate - and the teacher works as "IP on the patent". Everyone is happy, as it was said in Eralash.
I will not say about neurosurgeon, I will say about reconstructive orthopedics. This is when the joints change. The equipment is similar. There are many clinics that are a surprise! - invite surgeons for specific operations. The room, license, sales department is a clinic. A surgeon either agrees to lead a particular patient for the agreed amount or not. Shut up?
In plastic and reconstructive jaw-face, 80 percent of surgeons do so. Only 20% of the salary. Nothing breaks down, no horror happens.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145281
 02.10.2017
Previously, in Russia, they were thanked with borsy puppies, now loves.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145280
 02.10.2017
A person of mature age has two main problems: how to live to retirement, and how to survive on it.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №145279
 02.10.2017
Listened in a conversation in the gym between the coach and a very full newcomer. The newcomer is on the weights. The coach says:
Look at it at 10000. Exactly one hundred...Who are you working for? Work is moving?
I work in the Chamber of Measures and Weights Center. Work is static.
I think it will be fun with him here.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №145278
 02.10.2017
Two Russians are talking.
I want to go to Novgorod.
In which?
The Kremlin of red brick.
Both are red.
Nearly 500 km before him.
Nearly 500 km to both.
Where Governor Nikitin
Both are now governor Nikitin.
Oh yeah Nafig! I will go to Rostov!
In which?? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145277
 02.10.2017
The xxx:
My uncle is an Aitishnik to the bone brain. Everything is done strictly manually.
The air refreshment is over. She screams:
- "Anh, the refresher is over"
- "Take a new one on the shelf above. With a blue head, behind the washing agent".
Well, who fucking knew that the shave foam also has a blue head and is there.
Moreover, he poured everything with this foam and just went, because the instructions were fulfilled.
But now we have a variety with mint freshness.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145276
 02.10.2017
After watching a bunch of movies while sick, I realized that in all the movies all sorts of thieves and robbers are shown as smart geniuses and fun guys, and the rest are shown as boring shit; it is understandable why nobody in our country wants to work, but want to make a quick profit or fool others.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145275
 02.10.2017
And in the newly designed Mask BFR rocket, the first two letters mean the same thing as in the BFG9000?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145274
 02.10.2017
Alexandra, good morning I need your help or my mind is broken. It is necessary to come up with and implement the work at the conference of liceists, something with automation but very difficult only a month left.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY We in the community are very lacking an automatic turner of boilers, burn, redisks...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №145273
 02.10.2017
XXXX (Petersburg): In this bustling St. Petersburg it rains all year round. Or even more. It is always rain. In the winter rain. In summer it rains. Always is.
YYYY: You need to go to Kurgan. There will soon be love for St. Petersburg.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №145272
 02.10.2017
Am I trembling or will I give heating?! to
Give it three weeks ago.
Who has the batteries and whose batteries are cold?
You probably don’t have any disadvantages on the street like me.
It was +3 tonight.
Well, in everything you need to find pluses, in your case it is +3.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145271
 02.10.2017
Each satellite is equipped with a huge adhesive to cling to the dome that covers the Earth.

On the third day, it came to mind that there were douches of the last stage.
I presented.
This is really an affair, thank you :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145270
 02.10.2017
I don’t have a job worth it.
I’m building a Viagra for you now – it’s called puzzles.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145269
 02.10.2017
Soon is winter. I will set up your mining farm at home.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145268
 02.10.2017
For centuries, a considerable part of the men in large crowds and with sharp jars went to the neighbors on the topic of "see what they have interesting there".

[ + 31 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145267
 01.10.2017
Kalashnikov could not construct anything because he had only 7 classes of school behind him.
Well, of course, Spagin with his three classes of church-parish school could not think of anything like that, Degtyarev and Tokarev too, suddenly, universities did not end, but about John Browning or John Garand and nothing to say.
Stoner also, by the way, had no formal engineering education - from school to factory, from there to the army, from there again to the factory - and forward.
Of course the worst thing is myself!!! Hugo Schmeisser received no formal education other than high school. at all. I mean entirely.

But the current networked military with a higher humanitarian education in history and an iPhone instead of a brain very well know who and what can create.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145266
 01.10.2017
similarly. After visiting London and England in general, all Anglo-Mania, and in general, this late Soviet worship of the West disappeared instantly. It was enough to live in a typical English house, with +8 at night, what is outside the window, what is in the house. and :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145265
 01.10.2017
I observe how our state builders depreciate the houses... I don’t understand how they were able to live to the working age with such curved hands. This will pull you in the nose to crawl - and immediately you will crawl the eye.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145264
 01.10.2017
I picked a dress for a long time. I took the number 404. I bought and painted. It completely coincides with the color of my lips.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna