I go to the subway and suddenly the stomach starts to spin, well, I think - fuck me... I get to the station, jump out, run to the outlet to the turnikets, there are usually metro employees quiet. I approach a woman in shape, I ask - where is the toilet? I will explode! She - we do not have, there is free on the street 100 meters from the subway (showing where to run). I don’t run that fast anymore. I try to squeeze the bulky that there is urine, and in the stomach of the BUUR BUUUUR BUR ah thyž suca BURRR Oh shit, oh shit... I go out, I look with my eyes filled with blood... I see the toilet... I go in, there the woman cleans up, I go into the first cabin and I look at the toilet paper – no... I go out, I open the next cabin – no... next cabin – no... fuck... I ask the woman – toilet paper where? where, where - in the fifth, the entrance next to 10 meters... uff uff... crumbling in the fifth, because. The muscles of the buttocks are cramped... the legs are not listening, the head whispers like the stomach... I go into the fifth, I catch the toilet paper and.... I understand that everything is moving and death... the death of the whole pet... I stand, licking cold afternoon, with paper in the hands and with the eyes opened BUR BUR BUR... a shop employee passes by... I shake his hands, I say everything, call an ambulance, health inspection and firefighters - now you will have a horror that there is on the floor and that luster will also be... now we are two with the eyes opened and we hold one toilet paper... the employee says - and follow me. I – I cannot go. Employee - then crumble at least, but I will take you to the toilet! I was pulled into the cushion, there was a push... oh my god, what a beautiful, wonderful little, poor, terrible toilet. How I was pleased with him. And how pleased the fifth was when I left there - everyone accompanied me :DD

When confronted with power, you are always to blame.

How Vitya became a mariner.

Mother and grandmother took Vitu from the promiscuous Peter to the sunny Florida at a preschool age. So he, for the first time in the first class, went not to a Russian school with an in-depth study of English, but an American, where there was no Russian language at all.
At home, they communicated mostly in Russian, and every summer Vitya and grandmother flew to Peter for holidays. As a result, the boy managed to keep the spoken language at the level of the carrier. But he read Vitya in his native language by slogans and wrote in printed letters with a bunch of grammar errors.

After graduating from school, Victor, as usual, spent the summer in Peter. He celebrated his eighteen years of age when he was handed an agenda: first inviting to visit the district military committee, and then to serve the next year in the Russian army.
“This is the turn!” surprised Vitya and questioningly looked at the grandmother.
From St. Petersburg, Florida, the mother of the boy was urgently called to the Russian. In the district military committee explained to her that: "On the military record of her son did not put and the attestation did not be handed over, since he constantly resides abroad and is not subject to military record! It is the duty of the citizen!”
To the reasonable argument of an excited momma about the fact that her son has difficulty reading and writing in Russian, she was answered in the spirit of non-apocalyptic barracks humor: "We cannot - we will teach, we will not - we will!"

Vitya himself, raised as a law-abiding citizen in a private American school, wanted to follow the letter of the law and a year in the army, if appropriate, to serve.
“My former classmate Daniel, when he was flying to his relatives in Geneva, served four months in the Swiss army, and what’s worse for me?“Vitya argued her position to her grandmother.
The grandmother could not clearly explain to her grandson the difference between the Russian and Swiss armies and sent her mother to consult with lawyers. Those qualified explained that "cutting off medicine" will no longer work. Analysis and references had to be collected well in advance, and, burning, under the Florida sun, Vitya with an American white teeth smile and ten years of experience of year-round canoeing is unlikely to make the medical commission the right impression.

In general, it turned out that Vite would have to serve for a year.
“We will send him to the most secret troops,” the soldier intimidated the relatives of the recruiter. After serving in the army, he will not be able to leave the country for another five years. Even in Belarus!
Grandma and mother, finally ruined by a long life in America, did not understand the hints of the military commander and fell into a quiet panic.
“It’s time to take your fate into your own hands!” the young man decided.

Whole night Vitya thought what to do: how to avoid service without breaking the law? He signed a three-year contract with the U.S. Marine Corps.
"H," said the disheartened soldier, "to avenge from service in the army by service in the army is original!

According to surveys, 80% of cats are confident that people don’t understand them. "When trying to talk about something serious, the owner foolishly gives to eat" - this opinion among cats was heard most often.

A medical examination. The psychiatrist asks:

Are there complaints?

Not as though.

Sleepiness, fatigue, apathy, lack of motivation to work?

Yes, there is such.

It’s okay, it’s everyone... Well, go, don’t delay the line.

Yesterday a funny dialogue with my daughter (17 years old) came out:

What did you do last night at my age?

“They drank a selfie, listened to the gas sector and fired each other from the air.

to affix. And why?

We didn’t have the internet, we had the fun we could.

It is a pity that we have the internet.

But there is already an adult generation for whom the 20th century is roughly the same story as it was for us in the 19th.

This incident occurred at the second border stop in the Far East, where I served urgently (six months before the dembel I was transferred here with my favorite "Lonchakovo"), the name will be missed. I stand on duty on bail, arm clothes, drink tea with a duty on communication. Winter, frost... A signaling complex is working (meaning someone crossed a familiar border “collar” in Soviet films), I am reporting properly. When the report was present, the praporst, the senior of the pledge, and when he learned the number of the work site, he understood - the district of Tajik, there is snow at the very, and there is a lot of beast. He went to the senior alarm group. From the site on the TA-57: trace of goat in the direction of the state border. “We will kill.” In fact, this is a violation, and the cartridge is a property of special accounting, etc. etc. But the goat is such a wickedness that once passed, the route is remembered, and work in that place will begin to happen several times a day. of the same goat. Despite the different disturbances, the alarm groups will every time fly to the place of passage, record the trace of wild cattle, collect the wool from the clutch wire, or even do a trace blind (although in my service such a collection of evidence base was already inferior to photodocumentation). So the chief of the senior secretly allowed the hunt for rogue offenders. I to the operational guard in the border order that the alarm group from the site is returning. An hour and a half, no news. On this flank our surveillance operates, they reached the junction with the neighboring site, came into contact with the TA-57 (they had the R-392, but the site is uneven, elevations interfere with communications, it is rare to scream from there). I set the task - on the way back to get to the trail of the alarm group, report to the pledge what and how. The boss is nervous and is in control. The man is balanced, but visible. The guard went to the site. Reported by tapic, left the trail. Another hour passes. and silence. The clock on the tower looked in the direction of that flank (since radio communication is unstable, it might be a rocket signal). About 4 hours have passed since the last contact with the alarm. The commander’s order: “Stop the gun! Operative report: a training search is being carried out at the PGD site. The majority of fire equipment, including grenade launches, was loaded into the shale, and most importantly, the lunch was ready. Jokes jokes, but disappeared 7 armed fighters with radio stations, and UAZ. Before leaving, the chief said: "Whatever we meet, I will clarify the situation from the site as soon as we learn." On the pledge remained I, the communicator, the police officer, the clockman with the changeholder, the cocker, the cook. They reached the site and that they saw a trace. And the silence. An hour passes. The guard came back from the other flank. The replacement from the border control post has returned. Zampolit arms them, himself and the cockerel, on three snowwalks "Bars" rush through the taiga to the site. got to. The time goes by, the dinner has already cooled, the combat calculation is missed, the street is dark. The operational surveyor taps the caller and the communicator about when the training search will end. And here, all this cold camp, red and roasted, returns to the bargain, cleans the weapons, discharges the shops. They tell me this story: the senior came out after the trail of the goat, dropped the first shot. I approached, squeezed the carcass, sat down on another hot prey, smoked. At his AKS-74 pulled off the store, the machine itself folded and placed next to it. Valiously drowned, stood up, asked the cinologist for a long guide: "We will refresh here." At this moment the goat jumped up, and went into the taiga breaking the bushes, bringing down the bushes. At his corner was a folded machine without a store. followed the trace. found a body. There is no machine. 3 kilometers of taoyu path into the sidewalk to Usuri, and a strong wind that carries traces. That is to say, the trace was not so that it went straight, but the machine had to be searched. The chief in panic was - from the border order to the bargain to drive less than 2 hours, knocking who personally - everything, article, deadline. In the best case, dismissal, but this is if you are very lucky. No news to anyone. The snow was scratched one and a half meters to the right and to the left in the middle of the February taiga. The snow that is the most. At about eight o’clock the machine was found. Subsequently, the individuals learned everything, but it was already a fairy tale about living-being - an automaton on the spot, a shortage of ammunition was not revealed. And the goat we had eaten until then.

Covid will stop when 90% of people are vaccinated.
We will not be vaccinated!
- Dear friend, 90% can be reached not only at the expense of the numerator, but also at the expense of the denominator.

Xxx: In either the first or the second part, there was a moment that the sim could be pumped to a maximum of skill and then one gnom made at the machine cost $100. In the usual state, you have the time to squat 12 dwarfs for a replacement, then you give him the maximum of Science and put on a chemical table. On the chemical table with a high probability, he seems to begin to scratch amfetamine because of it. One blue bubble fills the scales of hunger and vigilance by 50%-70%. Sim can drink 3 such bubbles without sleeping for one such shift on the drugs, he scatters 28 dwarfs, then he needs to go to bed, wash to feed and go to the toilet. As a result, for an amfetamin replacement for something about 1.5 days, he pays $ 2800). I had a whole second production floor for this hernia, no work is needed, grandmothers do not end at all, once a week for 2 days to develop the rest of the skills and rest and again for production), very quickly bought all the free immobility on the map.

One day I was stopped by two police officers near the subway to check documents. I did not take the papers, and quietly smiled wide, preparing to apologize. But one disappointedly said to the other, “A, it’s a foreigner,” and they went on.

Xxx: What is the name of a genre where a crowd of people is trying to get out of the room or perform any tasks?



Tagged: IKEA

Sharing is not mine. I’m just busy taking a long rest before a hypothetically possible job.

On October 21, 1981, a submarine C-178 was killed in the Japan Sea near the Bosphorus Strait (Vladivostok). A refrigerator vessel crashed into it, which was led by an untreated starter, and the sober captain rested... lying. After receiving a deadly impact, the submarine lay on the ground at a depth of 32 meters with a huge gap in the sixth compartment.

In large part, the emergency situation was created by the operational duty brigade of the ships of the Primorsky Fleet, allowing the exit of the "Refrixerator-13" from the bay, and his assistant, arriving from the dinner, without thinking, gave a good at the entrance of the "S-178" in the golden horn bay, for some reason forgetting to transmit to it the information about the exiting ship.

After the fatal blow, seven people who were on the bridge, including the commander of the aircraft – captain of the 3rd rank Valery Marango, were on board. The personal composition of the feed compartments died almost immediately. A few officers and two dozen sailors remained in the noses. The command was taken by a senior assistant – Captain Lieutenant Sergey Kubynin.

Together with the commander of BCH-5, Captain Lieutenant Valery Zybin, they decided to take the surviving portion of the crew through the torpedo tube. However, the people in the torpedo compartment were much more than the staff and the rescue sets of the IDA-59 to get out of the sunken submarine were not enough... Meanwhile, the command of the TOP launched a rescue operation, and there was hope that the rescuers would be able to transfer the missing "sweepstakes" on board.

I had to wait three days. The darkness, the cold, the poisoned air... Time lasted deadly long. The forces of the submarines were melting, despite the fact that they were young strong guys 19-20 years old. Kubynin was the oldest – he surpassed 26 years. As the senior in age, rank and position, he was simply obliged to inspire the subordinates, to restore them hope for the best... Having built a staff in the outer darkness, Kubynin read the order to raise all titles and classness to one level, not lenient to make the corresponding record in the military tickets and fix it at the dim flashing light of the emergency lamp with a ship stamp...

After this, each sailor was awarded a sign "For the long journey" (a box with them was accidentally found in the second compartment). The mood in the semi-inundated compartment rose sharply, everyone immediately forgot about the temperature and inflammation of the lungs, which on the third day all were sick.

Finally, after receiving the missing IDA sets from rescuers arriving at the scene of the tragedy on the rescue submarine Lenok, Kubinin and Zybin began to release sailors. Three men plunged into the torpedo, which then drifted, filled with water, and then opened the front cover. And at the exit of the device, the boys waited for the dives, conducting them to the decompression chamber on board the neighboring Lenka lying on the ground. Those who, for one reason or another, went up to the surface, were subjected to the same procedure in the barocam of the surface vessel.

The last, as the commander of the ship, left the "S-178" Sergey Kubynin. And to do this for one person was fucking difficult! It was to flood the first compartment and, waiting for the water to reach the treasury part of the torpedo apparatus, to dive into it and pour 7 meters of iron pipes calibre 533 mm... Gull in the inflamed brain, work at the limit of human forces and revelation at the exit of the apparatus - around no one! As it turned out later, rescuers could not even assume that the last remaining on board could leave the submarine on their own and... put a cross on it, overturning the operation! Kubynin went on to the superstructure, deciding to get to the rubbish, and then jump to the surface. He failed – lost consciousness, and the water costume brought him to the surface... He was miraculously noticed among the waves from the rescue boat.

Sergei came to himself in the barocamera on the rescue "Giguli". In the vein of his right hand was wrapped the needle of the dropper, but the pain he did not feel - was in full spread. The doctors made him seven diagnoses: carbon dioxide poisoning, oxygen poisoning, pulmonary rupture, extensive hematoma, pneumotorax, bilateral pneumonia, broken drum membranes... He really recovered when he saw in the barocamera illuminator the faces of friends and co-workers: they soundlessly shouted something, smiled. Without being afraid of the strict medical generals, the boys broke into the Baroque Chamber.

Then there was a hospital. Seafarers, officers, nurses, completely unfamiliar people came to Kubinin’s chamber; they pressed their hand, thanked for the endurance, for the endurance, for the saved seafarers, gave flowers, carried grapes, melons, peppers, mandarins. It was in Vladivostok in October. The chamber where Kubynin lay was nicknamed "Citrus" in the hospital.

Sergey Kubynin has made at least three feats in his life. The first, officer – when he headed the surviving crew on a sunken submarine; the second – civilian, when years later managed to that the abandoned memorial of the dead sailors “C-178” was brought in order at the Maritime Cemetery of Vladivostok. Finally, the third, purely human feat – he took care of the surviving fellow servants.

Today, they have been a lot of years, and that overdose with all its medical consequences hit the body in the most devastating way. Former sailors and senior officers refer to him as their lifelong commander, to whom they believed then, at the death line, to whom they believe today, knowing that only he and nobody else will save them from the soullessness and arbitrariness of military commanding and medical officials. And he rescues them, writes letters to the highest instances, messes... forces the state to do what it is obliged to do without additional appeals to the president and the highest justice.

Today, especially after the tragedies of the nuclear submarines Komsomolets and Kursk, it became clear: what committed by Captain Lieutenant Sergey Kubynin and his mechanic Valery Zybin in October 1981 was not repeated by anyone. Except for the captain of the 1st rank Nikolai Suvorov, who organized the exit of his crew from the flooded K-429 atomic vehicle.

The award letter for the title of Hero of Russia, signed by prominent admirals of our fleet, including the former Chief Commander of the Navy of the USSR, Admiral of the Fleet Vladimir Chernavin, and remained under the costume of officials of the award department.

Today few people know about this feat... And yet we remember our heroes. We know Sergey Kubynin! Now our Hero serves in the Ministry of Emergencies, carries his guards in the position of the operational service of the Ministry of Emergencies of the South-Western District of Moscow. He still remains a Saviour in the full sense of the word!

Have you heard the news that three Russian guys in Mahatchkala attached to a Dagestan girl and beat a Dagestan guy who advocated for her? I have not heard.

One thing is to respect power, another is to live with it.

On the other day in school praised the daughter (4th grade) teacher of English, says: I noticed that you became much more trying. What is the reason? Hiring a trainer?
Daughter, good soul: I want to escape from this country!
The teacher leaned to her and to her ear: “I too!”

"The Russians were warned about the increase in prices of a number of goods by the end of 2021", the Ministry of Economic Development of the Russian Federation reassured: only two types of goods are heavily increasing - "non-food goods" and "food goods".

I met a wife from work. I worked until 18:00, she until 20:00. Standing at the stop, he approached the door of the bus, saw his wife in the windows, approached the door and picked up and took it off the bus with his stretched hands. The next woman asked: What about me? He picked it up and dropped it down. And then on the machine picked up and dropped to the ground a thin guy who looked narcissistic, who at first quietly hanged on his arms, and then began to ferociously curl and mating.

I was in the hospital once. When he recovered, he went to the clinic for a hospital card on a bicycle. And that day I was shown on local television how I went. He accidentally stumbled in the picture.

At the end of the morning at work, a raid from the boss, which sick man you ride a bicycle.

And the fact that the date of the air and the closing of the hospital list coincide with no one fucking.