Today, my wife shaved her hair so that it looked like Hitler's eyebrows. Now she calls it Clitler.



YYY: Hm, what’s wrong here? According to my performance.



zzz: It would be okay, but then she forced Clitler to kiss in the pot.

Such times have come that it is better to keep silent, at least, in a three-layer cloth. The word is too expensive.

I call a taxi from home to the garden on Sunday morning. I rarely use a taxi, but my wife from the morning on the car has already rushed into this very garden. Girl controller protaratorila: Grey ten, the number is like that, in 5 minutes leave.
I go out, I sit down.

My grandmother is driving. Welcome to “Welcome!” Immediately we settled, we talked. In retirement for a long time, taxes the first year, from my husband got the car, before I did not trust. They talked mentally. Arrived at the gate of the garden, cost 70 rubles. I pull 100 rubles, and the grandmother instead of giving me a cake! With a potato! I agreed, of course. She removes the cover from the pot (!Then he pulls and stretches (hand in bag) a stinking cake, straight hot. I go out, bite... And something so sad (although not to regret) grandmother. As she turned, I decided to brake her. I stop, I run to her.

Cake is waste! Can you buy it all?

“Oh, son, forgive me, but I just got on the line, I need to get enough for all the customers.

I think I could work in the United Nations.
I’m constantly upset and worried, and I don’t do any shit.

Xxx: In our zoo, the bears slept quite late. Especially if the summer is long and warm.   In general, putting in winter sleep, this process is quite lengthy. Here he is all day rounding around the crib (in cells for beds they have built such kinds of boxes made of cribs). This is where he puts the salt. Here he went down, lay down... but something didn’t like, he started to roll over the cage again. All this time, the bear is eating. very much. Especially loves the seed that your horse. He eats, but he does not eat. The Copy.  But at last he humbled, went into his barley, turned around there, laying down, and the exit with the straw stopped. Only one fragrance remains, from which the couple comes. The mice lay down, and the zoos breathed relieved. Their work slowed dramatically until the spring.

New Year’s holidays are coming. Everyone is fun, the people are celebrating, fireworks crack day by day. And that bear’s whisper is obviously waking up. They are not used to sleeping in such noise. These sleepy mouths come out of the berlog, and look with great disapproval at the shame that is being created around. And zootechnicians with heart failure are watching for crabs. This is called the “moment of truth”. This is the nature of the bear. If the awakened bear comes out of the berlog, looks around, and then returns to his bedroom, then everything is normal. Sleep until spring. And if the upset mouse is upset, then everything - come, go, watch. Allow the shadow for the whole winter.  This livestock, not only that is always in a bad mood, but also constantly requires care, as well as food, which for the winter period in the zoo budget is not planned. And the poor zootechnicians, the mother through the teeth of the bear, fireworks, New Year and all the white light, drive the toptygin out of the cylinder, and begin to clean a huge bunch of shit from the frozen concrete.

You are me, I am you.



Propagandists are the patriots of their wallets.



© Dmitry Sviridov

In the 1990s, my mother and I lived poorly. My mother worked in the hospital, and at one of her duties came a beaten guy. When he was discharged, he asked everyone in debt to get home somehow. Mom alone pityed the whole team and gave him the money, not counting on him to return them. Three months later, we received a package of food, candy and three times as much money as we had borrowed. We lived for this for another month.

Bad without a king in the head, but worse with a king without a head.

Xxx: In one of my previous jobs, the bosses decided to check the workcomps for employee internet abuse.

In the shopping hall there were several computers used by the sellers, here is one of them we approach.

Open the browser history. One of the questions in Yandex - Is it true that bears stick their ass with clay before sleeping?

Next Request - Watch the video as a bear sticks his ass with clay.

The entire delegation.

Xxx: Events about 10 years ago.

I just finished the universe, found a job, did not get any income, but enough to eat housing, bread with oil and walk with friends a couple of times a month. I even postponed something.

I met a girl. High School, 3 course. It can’t work – the load is large. I remember how I suffered after working all 5 courses - there was no student life. Learn to learn, I thought.

Everything went well. We decided to go - well what to pull. I come from work - she plays a lineup or leaves social networks. I said I was tired, 4 couples today. Okay well. I prepare dinner. We eat, after eating, silently stands up from behind the table, goes to the room, she has a raid, she needs to cheer. What is. Wash the dishes yourself.

We can’t go anywhere on the weekend. She has both weekend sieges. Especially in the evenings. But in the morning or in the afternoon we will not go anywhere, because before the siege, as it turned out, it is necessary to "form". your mother. I think I have a girlfriend, but I don’t.

tk. This is basically the first serious relationship, I thought - no, and maybe it's normal. It does not drink. The brain does not endure. But I’m thinking about the future, and she’s thinking about a new armor.

I noticed that the tables on the table had ceased to be seen. At least to prepare for something. I decided to talk. Great news, fucking, it has been counted off for the tails and fucking for a month! And she didn’t say because “I knew you would start pressing again.”

But with that. Cooking, cleaning – we don’t want to. Even after myself. Dirty circles in rows on the table.

One day we fought against this infantility. She cried all night in the corner, crumbled and cried, believed that nobody loves her, nobody appreciates her, nobody understands her, nobody in the whole world needs her, and in general she is a creature, nothing deserves in this life and it would be better for her to die.

I regret it. I did not escalate. He said we will talk about it tomorrow when she calms down.

Tomorrow I was waiting for a brilliant apartment, breakfast and an offer to walk. Oh God, what a miracle, how wonderful, thought one naïve fool. We walked almost the whole day, drank wine in the evening, watched a beautiful movie, did a little, and in the morning... I woke up from the usual to painful sounds of breathing computer dirt. I thought, okay, yesterday was a good day, let him play. Tomorrow it all repeated. And the afternoon. And within a week. “Well, we just spent the whole day together,” she told me two and a half weeks later.

“Let’s go to a psychologist? The two? If you want, you can be alone. I’ll help and support you, just take one step and I’ll be there all the way.” "I'm not psychic, I don't need it, it's you have problems with the perception of my hobby."

The school does not recover. He is not looking for work. Although I promised. No hero wants to, just play in his fucking lineup. He does absolutely nothing at home. Just from under the stick once a month and then with such a look as if she was forced to eat the shit. Trying for good, zero emotions. On the bad - again tears and hysteria that she wants to die.

But even this could have survived.

I noticed that money was missing from the card. A few thousand and a half. But they disappeared. I began to find out where. Great news: she took my card, without asking, and in her fucking line bought some scattered sword. You see, she needed him very much, she didn’t play without him. There was a huge bombardment. He did not get hysterical, did not calm when the tears began, and continued to crack. And what do we see? Here is the true face of my angelic angel. Scream with insults, threats to kill me and suicide myself, selective mat, blasphemy against me and relatives, and how she really hates me, and that I long ago got her with my spells, did not cook and will not, and clean up too, because she is not a maid, and she does not want to work, because "to fuck the fucking fuck like you got me gone, the naked creature of the cattle".

In short, I left. I stayed with a friend, even though he did not sleep all night. I thought I was worried, or maybe it was my fault? Per I really demand a lot? After not sleeping for a minute, I decided to go home in the morning.

At home, and at home. At home, again, there is a hairy red-eyed miracle, only aggressive. The conversation did not come out. He gave 48 hours to leave, lived a couple of days in the country of a friend. and returned. has left. I picked up a lot of things, and I picked up a lot of things. In terms of equipment, dishes. The most offensive: my favorite shit. I locked her wherever I could. But maybe it could have been done without it.

I do not regret a second. What about her, I do not know. The only one I don’t want to know about.

One summer day. It is hot, I go on the Ivanovo-Vladimir route. The car is "country", the windows are open, not shaved, dressed as a "king in exile". There is a bus stop in front of me, with two girls holding my hands on it. and brake.

Where are you? In the open window, the virgin sits on the belt.

Do you want to rest with two?

- No... Now I have moved into the free space, girls! Thank you very much!

For the CHO?

How about CHO? For your faith in my solvency.

Whenever I feel afraid of anything (whether it be injections, speaking to colleagues, dental treatment), I think that in an hour or the next day at the same time I will be much better and life will continue calmly. I have been doing this for years and it always helps.

It is good to be frozen until you get a more frozen frozen.

My father recently discovered the joy of using the internet. For several months, I have been trying to instill his critical thinking skills. Looking at the trend of YouTube, he sometimes tells us that Russia has mine the tectonic plates of the United States, and may drown the mainland. A ghost and a clairvoyant. I have to look for the prushes and prove that he has seen some shrimp again. Fortunately, the father adequately perceives the facts and upset that no sensation has occurred, leaves to google the curiosities further.
And then one day he told me:
More than 70 years after the Titanic crash, a 10-month-old girl was found sailing from it.
“Figny something,” I replied without apologizing, continuing to study my old notebook.
You listen to! She said she was on the Titanic with her parents. Named their names. We checked, and indeed, such a young couple with a child was on Titanic.
A 10-month-old girl told me.
The father shrugged his eyebrows and condemned:
Actually, a shit of something.

If men do not stick to you, get rid of fat.

xxx said a friend.

In the 2000s, he came to fix the cash in a small vegetable store. When he did everything, the seller asked him:

How much do I owe you?

He decided to joke:

I don’t need money, I’ll take it.

Here, a man from the Caucasian outdoors comes out of the fence in the size of two to two:

What kind of nature you are. E is?

It becomes clear that it is either her husband or her lover.

I’m going to get some tomatoes of all kinds...

Well take it.

He picked up some shit for a penny and ran away, leaving everything on the bench in the park. But the whole.

The smarter children, the worse they reproduce.

My first assessment was a pair – for the fact that when all the choir shook “mama washed the frame”, I secretly read Meane Reed’s “The Rider Without a Head.”

Summary - from 100 000 rubles
and gamer. I will kill your son/husband in an online game and return to your family.

xxx: my first big love, I was then 20 years old, he was caught in betrayal with a lady just 30 with children from the first marriage. She knew about me and wanted to talk to me to get out of the triangle, since he "did not decide," but little of what he directed her, that I am bully and no talk with me is worth it, and as it turned out, all the time they met, he told her that he did not leave me only because I have heart problems and I will soon die😁 The real hero of our time 🤣🤣🤣