bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120216
 04.11.2015
I invited a girl to a first date. She sent a text message that could not come, with three grammar errors. It was the first time I was so happy that I was caught up.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120215
 04.11.2015
Many young parents are familiar with the concept of "touch box" (boxes with beans or small stones to improve children's fine motor skills).

And we have sensory cat food throughout the hallway. The fucking:

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №120214
 04.11.2015
Discussion of the series "Ekaterina the Great" and the actress who played the main role:

- or maybe before questioning the actress, you need to look at the real photos of Catherine II? Sniper is perfect for this role!

The real picture of Ekaterina the Second, Karl!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120213
 04.11.2015
X: The security guard asked me not to throw away the conncots.
X: He sits at night and dismisses them from bad deeds.
X: The Pillow

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120212
 03.11.2015
When I graduated from the university 10 years ago and went to commercial development, the chief who took me to work said even more interestingly: "In our country, programmers become not a benefactor of the higher education obtained, but contrary to it.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №120211
 03.11.2015
I sit at work, I don’t touch anyone, I call:

Q: "I’m starting to enter the case in the register, and he’s giving me a mistake! What is it?"

I come, therefore, and observe how when creating a record on the case, the date is marked - 31.11.2014.

I: "What do you want from me?"
Q: "So do it well!! I need to make a card!"
I: "Sorry, but I can’t help you here. I am not Almighty. Because in the calendar in November 30 days, forgive..."

Five seconds of silence and silence: "Shit. I am a fool..."

Nothing in this story. Only the defendant's card wants to fill on the newly filed case. In the case of the Investigative Committee, this is the date.
of Russia. The curtain.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120210
 03.11.2015
Aikhal: A woman came, stood up behind my back... turned around – looking out the window. And without turning back, he says "I’m sorry, I’m leaving now. I just want a piece of the outside world".
Aikhal: I think I need to run away from this job.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120209
 03.11.2015
I am looking for companions for vacation on a special site, one ad made me think (writes the guy): I am looking for a companion for a positive, reproductive, impressive vacation. Here I think how many people will want to go on reproductive leave and is it not better for such purposes to look for a companion))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120208
 03.11.2015
First they say “Forget everything you were taught in school!” and then they wonder “Did you not be taught this in school?”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120207
 03.11.2015
Discussion on the forum: "How to reject a customer"

and AAA:
You just can’t say "no". This word is pronounced in a separate sentence, without indicating the reasons for which you can get stuck and continue the conversation, preferably with a well-worked final intonation. and ;-)

The BBB:
Please attach a video where you say "no" with "a well-worked final intonation". Or the audio. Many times: "No No is. No is. No is. No andquot; We will study!

and AAA:
No is.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №120206
 03.11.2015
Leha epta: What an adity. By the way, pitchers parked in the entrance are a relatively rare phenomenon for Peter.
Ivan Chechetkin: Because it is not an entrance, but a parade

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120205
 03.11.2015

In Moscow, on suspicion of cashing about $50 billion, the leader of OPG Grigoriev was detained. 50 billion backs, Carl!
The dollar man was finally caught.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №120204
 03.11.2015
In 1998 Krasnoyarsk University gathered to make a large university grid. At the meeting with the rector (sysadmins were not called to the meeting - not that level) decided to distribute IP by audience number: for example *.*.112 is a computer in the auditorium 12 on the first floor. very comfortable.

The university building was four-story.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120203
 03.11.2015
How is the weather there?
Shit is disgusting
You have described my whole life in two words.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120202
 03.11.2015
Technical support for one website:

It is wrong to write the "create" button on people in Russian. Only God creates and creates. Click on the word "do"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №120201
 03.11.2015
I’ve heard a lot that people’s “self-future” letters are shuffled there, leaves pockets in their pockets... so here’s a piece of stuff. I went on vacation and did not replace anyone. I decided to write a detailed manual so that other people could do my work during the vacation "by notes", without calling and without panic. It was so detailed that it was made up of four small letters. The work is quite rugged and scrupulous. I had to write like for idiots or infants. Click there, enter this, the left arrow, and so on.
The vacation went well - started on my birthday, then the move, then the repair, and ended on the birthday of my daughter.
On Monday, my head is so upset that... I’m sitting down, reading my own manual, written by me, but before the holidays. It helps

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120200
 03.11.2015

by: Menthan Zhenya

I was sent the body for the welding machine. Normal, clear, smooth, everything as needed.
Please remove the drawing on which you made the body.
The drawing is not that.
I ask how?
In response, he knows him, himself in shock.
To my question, where is the drawing of the worker, by which you did this? They send the same.
The size does not match what they do.
The robot stamps the right body on the wrong drawing.
No one knows how
Do it all through the ass, and at the same time do it as it should! The Slavs are in the blood.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120199
 03.11.2015
A book for children "The Little Crush Who Wanted to Know Who Broke Him on the Head"
In his place, I would have been interested to find out.
XXX: Something similar happens to me periodically.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120198
 03.11.2015
Heatway repair, tramway roads fencing, two wagon cars, welding units, brutal gentlemen in insulated signal vests and stickers on the trailer with oxygen balloons "In the car child"

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120197
 03.11.2015
Today I received a very good announcement, glued to the pillar.
The inscription "Maybe the cat is missing"
And the drawing is a box with one scratched corner and a radioactive danger icon on board.
Instead of a QR code

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna