Taking into account the new law on police, the children's story of Sergey Mikhalkov "Uncle Stepa - a policeman" will have to be renamed "Ankl Steve - a policeman".

As a child, we carried a plate with soup to the hall because there was no TV in the kitchen. We grew up, and there is a telephone in the kitchen, but we still drag that plate into the hall. Because there is plasma, inches 50)))

A neighbor found a cat a day ago, such a smoky-grey babysitter. What do you think he called the cat? Fuck the cat, Fuck the cat :)

Go to the session! Millions of soldiers cannot be mistaken.

<KsuNik> and February 23 means not to congratulate those who did not serve???? to
<Anonymous> and March 8 means not to congratulate the girls who are not yet women?

I am in the hospital with a cranial fracture. Walking along the corridor, I hear the dialogue of two surgeons:
...so take a cake, two bottles of champagne and... a trepanation drill!!!! to
I am afraid to sleep...

Why are girls afraid of you?
[1:22:40] Krond: HZ
[1:23:17] Cronde: I hide in the dark courtyard, I press to the wall, I ask, “Why are you afraid of me?”In response, neither me nor the cowboy.

Persia (02:03:19 8/11/2010)
Santa Claus, I want you all to die and dress!

Persia (02:03:32 8/11/2010)
Oh not there

X-Men: It's Time to Stop Playing Heroes
You know what I dreamed today?! to
YYY: What is it? Sex with a magic dragon.
That I am asleep, a red player with a chest of blue dragons approaches me, and I get rid of him through the window! Waking up in the cold sweat already on the window...

For young fathers to note: if the manna flour worked out with bits, just beat it with a blender or a blender wreath.

I know it’s not funny, but somebody needs it.

Only on television the governor of the city gently said: "And who will be engaged in this cultural project to us somehow... yeah... no matter"

by Vismut:
Here today accidentally stumbled on old photos from the morning, nostalgia so flooded) In which only the costumes were not dressed)) Let's guys, let's share our photos, who was who))
I am in a rabbit costume.

ReMade is:
I was a dick once.

by Vismut:
I don’t know what the costume looked like.

ReMade is:
I was stupid without a costume.
Parents like to joke.

by Vismut:
And if there was no costume, how did you know that you were in the costume?

ReMade is:
My parents told me
You’re a kid, go in the morning.

The news burns:
Putin tries himself as a Formula 1 pilot
Police are looking for the man who struck down a Moscow car

Andrew: My beloved is now fucking my brain.
Alko: aa, this is the norm
Tell me that this is a guest.

comments to the article on the disappearance of Gennady Malakhov "apply to Malakhov the word forgot somehow terrible, especially knowing his passion for urine therapy";
"Can Dr. Malakhov decide to try his own recipes on himself for the first time in his life?"
Thank God, he has been found! Everything is fine with him!"
"Gennady Petrovich is a messenger and a murky! and"
"Will be found in a dirty hotel room, cold, with an overdose of onions."

Old age is when the sweet life ends and the sweet life begins.

Summer and heat. I sit with my grandson. In his favorite toy broke the engine, removed and disassembled instead of Lego. The grandson enthusiastically turns everything he can reach with the key, but he feels that he likes to ride on sandwiches more than to carry them. The intense work of thought leads to results. Grandfather, he says, without a motor car, of course, will not drive. And the gorgeous?
I was stupid here. Instead of answering, “It won’t go,” I asked, “How do we get her there? 』
Five minutes later, the grandson pulled the pulling wire and agreed with the neighbors who were going to the store for food. It was too late to retreat. We put the battery in place, twisted the cap back, attached the wire, went.
Here we have to say that the road to the country is sloping, on the eve you can get straight to the entrance. Under the slope is a piece of the road from which the congress goes to the landscape. Once it was a highway, now it is almost not the center of the city.
In short, we drove to the highest point on a trailer, turned around, pulled off the wire.
The grandson was driving, slowly touching. The steering wheel turns correctly, brakes where it needs to, especially impatient and signaling shows the sign with the middle finger, as the traffic rules prescribe.
The trouble started where it wasn’t expected. I was completely out of the head that there was a GAI on this street. I remembered this when I saw on the doorstep of the haishnikovs who watched a ten-year-old boy passing by with reluctance. When the boy snorted and smooked them with a pen, they flattered.
We should pay tribute to them, despite the forum, we went to the dacha at the same time.
After a little discussion, without a consensus, I had to call GAI. I explain to the officer that I am resting in the country, their drunk employees broke in and demand the rights of a ten-year-old child playing in the sandbox. Five minutes later, the director arrived personally.
The first speaker reports his version: “Seeing a child behind the wheel,
I pursued him until the day.” The second decided to play him, not knowing that he is playing on my side: “he still has a warm engine.”
The inner voice told me that it was time to open the hood.

How do you distinguish a bad horror movie from a good one?
very simple! In a bad horror film, they scare the viewer with a beat.
glass, burned bodies, sharp sounds and suddenly jumping out
The Zombie.
And in the good - in the frame quietly floats the eggs, and you can get rid of it!

Three degrees of degradation of an engineer: 1 – forgets how to integrate, 2 – how to differentiate, 3 – begins to wear a high school badge

Just transmitted on TV (a program about the tornado "spirituality in contrast"):
They show a tornado that absorbs the house in which people are left. commentary :
While the Ferbensons are trying to survive in a flying house, scientists have made a discovery...