bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105002
 04.11.2014
Why shouldn’t you, at your 35s, buy shoes in size 37? You can put something inside.
YYY: Are you a fool?! to
xxx: Yes of course! And wearing pants is in the order of things I just thought about...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №105001
 04.11.2014
When cooking pork, the potatoes are added to the oven after the pig is roasted. Otherwise she will burn the whole potato.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105000
 04.11.2014
And my husband, in response to my depressing notion of the absence of romance and the element of surprise in our relationship, gave me five chestnuts, surprisingly placing them in a pot of compot. That’s how in the morning you go to the kitchen, you want to drink a compot, you open the lid of the pot, and there the chestnuts come together in a wedding dance.

Are you married to Gassy Fink-Nuttle?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104999
 04.11.2014
Don’t think it will all go well. Simply, buying vodka, buy aspirin, minerals and a couple of chickens to cook the bouillon in the morning.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104998
 04.11.2014
There was one man in the department. He had an unconventional mindset. This we understood when he began to prove in full seriousness that riding in the winter on a bald summer rubber with hernia is completely normal and safe. And finally convinced when he put a pot with a dozen eggs in the microwave. He was fired, in fact, for shit code and complete uselessness, but I suspect that all these facts are somehow related to each other. And the Eichers in the interview should start with questions easier than "how many coins from the earth to the moon".

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №104997
 04.11.2014
A fragile long-haired girl goes hand in hand with an eye-catcher, very similar to Valerque from The Untouchable Avengers.
Do you love me? She asks resolutely.
“I haven’t decided yet,” said the boy, fixing his glasses.
“Truly, you’re a fool,” I think, slowing down and waiting for a breakdown.
- To kill you... - dreamingly pulls the girl, whispering.
The boy wants to object, but the innate desire for truth obviously does not lie.
- It is not excluded that it will help, - he is extremely reluctant to admit.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104996
 04.11.2014
N.A Nekrasov: "On Simeon's day, my father sat me on a barrel and brought me out of childhood for the fifth year.
and----
and 8-)
Are you sure that you understand the word "Burning" correctly?

There, further, are listed the works that were entrusted to the seven-year-old and later heroin.
Bring a cow home from the herd, take breakfast to my father, take care of the cattle.
In general, this is what they are doing at the same age in the village - if there are cows, cattle, working fathers and seven-year-old children in the village.


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104995
 04.11.2014
Do you just want to get me out of yourself?
I just want to introduce myself into you.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104994
 04.11.2014
At the dawn of my dim youth, I also had a romantic with candles. He seemed to have fallen in love with me — and seemed to have been unsure... he asked me to think about it at the time in my room in the dormitory. I was interested in the result and allowed. After a couple of hours, she could not stand and broke. It lay in the darkness on the floor with a star, perimeter covered with burning candles in different tanks. Blessedly smiling, he jumped up and stated that meditation has yet to bear fruit - yes, he is in love and wants to immediately break up with his virginity. When I failed to cope with the seizure attack, I was offended - and the love again quietly vanished.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104993
 04.11.2014
From Habr.

aaa: I don't know why, but I love when there are all sorts of sensors in the smartphone :) So of course the technology will be useful. And different chemical/biological analysis would be great at all.
Why is this in the smartphone?
CCC: Why Why? From medical express diagnostics to product quality checks.
ddd: wrote on the smartphone, then sneaked in the yogurt
Eeee, what has gone?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104992
 04.11.2014
The humor of the owner of the wedding salon "Ophelia" - nothing compared to the humor of the founders of the airline "Icar".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104991
 03.11.2014
In the Finnish translation of the Bible, on the first day of creation, God created the earth, water, fire, wood and crown. It was fine tonight.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104990
 03.11.2014
Here is this:
to this:

Nuclear warheads are more than enough. Boom - and Germany is wiped off the face of the earth. Forgive the axis of evil, greet the veil of truth.
Crater of Good Scuca
and xD

It is...
I am very curious about the age of these degenerates with Bivisov's hygias, who argue about how fun and good it would be to kill a few million people.
Types are typical.
_______________________

Picked by Pick. It is not necessary to splash with saliva.
For some reason, such indignation is generated here only when something is struck by Europeans, Khhls or Americans, I do not remember such bullying and outrage when something like this is written against the Russians. This is on Russian resources. Shame on you, gentlemen.
= the =
When the Debbie Pindos threatens us with a bomb, let it threaten us. The bomb will not be dropped, and the fool in America will live. When our men threaten to bury someone, they are our fools. The relatives. The Russians. We live with them.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104989
 03.11.2014
I sit down and remember the romantics in my fate. Something really disgraceful happens. One young man after my whistle that I can’t tolerate sweet, gave me a seed of spicy ambassador with a pink band around e-e... the waist. Not his own, around the waistline.
The second ill-loving ordered and glued a wallpaper with my portrait on the wall: a cold-blooded spectacle! It turns out, the photo stretched across the wall acquires the features of Ulyana Andreevna Bunsha, seen by Shurik in the doorstep. From my left photographic ear, the wires from the bra were drawn: brown and blue, my left eye got into the irregularity in the wall and evilly washed up and forth, and the right small cutter leaned into the tumble, as if I wanted to bite it. I shouldn’t have been so upset when I saw those wallpapers.
And my husband, in response to my depressing complaint about the lack of romance and the element of surprise in our relationship, gave me five chestnuts, surprisingly placing them in a pot of compot. That’s how in the morning you go to the kitchen, you want to drink a compot, you open the lid of the pot, and there the chestnuts come together in a wedding dance.
Something is wrong with romanticism.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104988
 03.11.2014
I'm a bad romantic, one night I walked on the balconies to the lady in the window, broke the fork, broke the pots with flowers, awakened my dad.
had to marry.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104987
 03.11.2014
Discussion of the news in one of the Ukrainian blogs about the demolition of the Iphone monument in Peter after the statement of the current head of Apple Tim Cook about his non-traditional sexual orientation. The monument was liquidated in compliance with the law on the prohibition of propaganda of homosexuality among minors.

Ppc Tchaikovsky
I am also concerned about his monuments.
Heck with them, with stones, in theaters, what now? And if the coup is done, what will TV show?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №104986
 03.11.2014
Those who do not remember:

That is to say, the man is on a Russian submarine with a Russian crew and speaks Russian, but he is 100% Ukrainian.
Well yes yes yes.
This is the same thing....
Also say that people with surnames Avanesov, Apanasevich, Babenko, Bondar, Burkulakov Buchnikashvili were Russians. These are the first seven names on the list of dead sailors of the nuclear submarine "KOMSOMOLEC".
You grow up with Ivan, relatives who do not know, ignorant.
-----------+----+----

At the court ball to Marquis de Custina, the author of one of the popular books on Russia in the West (Russophobic, note!Emperor Nicholas I said:
Do you think all those people around us are Russians?
Of course, your Majesty...
But here is not. This is Tatar. This is German. It is Polish. This is a Georgian, and there stands a Ukrainian and a Moldovan.
Who are the Russians here, your Majesty?
All together they are Russians.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104985
 03.11.2014
Vasily Pavlov, military reporter

In the past and in recent history there are examples where geopolitical problems are solved by investing in mercenaries. But novelty is not in the principle of mercenaries. And in the departure from the concept of war against the army toward war against the population. From war for conquest, to war where the goal is war itself. And here everything is much more difficult. And because there is no front, and for the simultaneous protection of the entire population on the entire territory, no army will suffice. There is no enemy that can be destroyed once and for all. There is no Paris / Berlin / Terrible / Tbilisi / Kiev, the capture of which will put an end to the war. If you understand the differences, you will see that this is really a war of a new type. Almost inevitable and terrifying in its consequences.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104984
 03.11.2014
About the "toys" machine for 1100 euros
Fuck, as a child, I would have eaten one mango for such a car and dried up fish oil until the 11th grade.
222: Researchers at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Science Center in Seattle have concluded that fish oil causes cancer.
Manka is probably the low-calorie and useless of cakes. Useful substances and protein in it are minimal.
111: This is where you were before, right?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104983
 03.11.2014
(Question in the section "thoughts", a photo of the hand hand up)

Q: What can you say about this man in the hand?
Not like hair. There is a partner, there is.

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