From Japan:

In my hometown, a tractorist from a heat truck twisted a hood to a pneumoniae. I turned off one lighthouse and drove cars to the district center at night. I imagine the number of bricks laid off by the opposing drivers of cars when they are met by a heat car with one lighthouse and whisper like a victim.
He was chosen by the head of the tractor.

I have the right to be an astronaut. Unfortunately, they do not take.
I have dreamed since childhood.

yyy: from places advised:Send SMS to the number XXXX with the text "I am a cosmonaut". The more SMS you send, the more astronaut you are.

XXX is MDA. I decided to buy sausages with a friend, well, eat a type. There is one near the subway. We bought, here we in the back of the seller says "And we have a stock! Good luck! and good luck! They will give!
And here we stretch a roll of toilet paper 65 meters!
Eat with understanding of risk.
Respect the copywriter!

In the capital subway will install machines, which will sell tickets for one trip not for 30 rubles, but for 30 seats.
A "ku!" will you have to talk about it?

From Twitter:
xxx: I went to the universe in the bus, stumbled my head at the ceiling so that my head is still cracking!(And that’s with my 175 centimeters...how do people with a height of 190 ride in them?! to
It hurts! it hurts to drive.

There are two things you shouldn’t forget if a bad fate forces you and your ex to go to the same place:
Don’t even look at him.
2 The Preservatives

The scream of the soul.

They say there are people in our country who work only eight hours a day.

Loudly lying! There are either those who work 5-6 hours, or those who work 12-25.

I work 7 hours. I work with harm and milk. There are so many things that you don’t have time to eat lunch. It is impossible to delay and complete the work, prohibit security equipment, leave it for another day - not in all cases it is really possible. So you have to rotate the entire working day like a turbine in a power plant. By the end of the day, the hands and legs fall off, the head shakes, the body in soap...
It is a pity that when choosing a profession, these minor details are not available to students.

We have a hard-core fitness club in the city with a brilliant slogan – “You’re tired of being fat and ugly?” Just be ugly!"

“When I returned from my first holiday in a sunny country, coming down in the subway on Monday, I was surprised at the cloudy, boring and hostile faces people have in the morning. It looked so wild. At the time when everyone smiles there, it is easy to get acquainted and get in touch with each other.

- I also want the subway to be like the ultra-all including the spa resort by the hotel

In our neighborhood supermarkets continue to celebrate Halloween. Today there were such terrible tomatoes and such terrible apples that I wanted, with screams of horror, to run away from the store.

by JJ

He writes in a game, he says, an American, he studies in Germany.
I decided to shine the school English, supported.)
It was hard, but in school I had a trio in English.
We beat mobs, we talk.
In the process, he writes that afk, and the mobs continue to beat.
I ask how? The further dialogue:
How?
Key holder
What is the program?
- mmm... "gayka na 32"

Comment on the article on the Habr, where the photo depicts a guy with a carelessly sewn chip of impressive sizes

plowed :
"Tim Cannon calls himself a biohacker"
In translation to Russian - %b.

My husband calls:

Did you change me?
... in the meaning?
Did you change me or not?
What happened? What did you take?! to
Have you changed my car or not? Time to change, okay?

Blue... he asked to change the text of the announcement of the sale of the car.
If I were a liar, I would have settled.

I fed the hamster and now his neck smoothly moves into his ass.

[14:56:03] <+atatuev> my elevator at home was wildly trolled: I go in, I climb my floor, the door is closed - the elevator is standing.
[14:56:28] <+attauev> how not to crack in the elevators after that

Shean: My parents almost divorced three months after the wedding.

I went to my mom’s wedding girlfriend. Everyone stands, ZAGS, tu-ru-rum, aunt solemnly announces the conditional Pleshakov marries the conditional Lysiansky and involuntarily makes a pause. Half of the guests loudly press a laugh, and in the air hangs the bullshit under my nose with my puppy "...and both take Parikevich’s surname".

I understood one thing.
Being such a girl.
I will not try anymore.

The drug Ibuprofen also arouses the imagination.

Ibuprofen is a consultant in the department of small household appliances.

Aunt Lida's nightclub seller by a person's appearance can determine the name and dose of any pstotropic substance.

The last hysteria escaped me.