One day in the winter, I went to the server. There was a strong DDoS.

XXX: What are you doing there?
YYY:Package on hand dress
XXX Why?
YYY: I don’t know...
YYY: He is warm ^_^

We need a new President of Russia.
B does not offer.

Everyone knows the medical joke about how in the hospital unsuccessfully tried to treat a Chinese for Botkin's disease, that is, for jaundice.

But maybe it's not quite a joke, I thought, next to me is a pretty cute girl, by nationality, a caterpillar. She went to a regular medical examination at the clinic. The doctor looked at her, thought about it, and then began to write in the medical card: "A moon-shaped face. Sign of excess hormone of the adrenal cortex in Cushing syndrome. hormone therapy.” The girl was frightened and said, "I am not sick, my dad and mom are stormy." “Well then okay!The doctor lighted up and quickly removed the recording.

This is so. Respect the wise doctor.

Why closed the casino?
So they robbed people to the thread.
Why not close the tax?

"In our institute opened a center of advanced technologies, although they have long been abandoned in Japan."

Max: I’m a strange guy... I can’t have sex for a long time, I don’t drink much, I almost don’t smoke, I don’t watch football, I don’t go to nightclubs.
Max: Maybe I am dead? O_0
No, you have just grown up.
That’s such an adult!

Umin: Trailer "Twinkleyt" on YouTube (who doesn’t know – gay version of Sumerek). The most famous comment:
It is amazing! It's gay porn and it's still less gay than a real movie xDD

There is a suspicion that black cats are sure that all humans are idiots.

XX: There are two types of people. The first likes to kill while enjoying the process.
XXX: And the second was never in the hospital line.

Some people get embarrassed when the proposal suddenly ends not as they become obese

How to deactivate an 8-year-old child?
Tagged: head shot
Zzz: Just like a cat.
XXX: I found a way! She’s scared of the poster of Rammstein, she doesn’t like how Til looks at her :D She’s scared and now sits quietly :D
I feel like an evil :D

What a beautiful country we live in. All are so polite. Specifically, there is a megaphone on the street that wishes all residents of the district a quiet night at 3 a.m. Thank you fucking.

Do you have condoms scattered throughout the apartment?
I: Well, that’s better than the children scattered around the apartment.

XHH: On the street today is minus 10, I am so frozen, my fingers almost dropped, all day I am like a piece of ice. They are already shrinking!
JOHN: Who is it? O_0

My mother boasts:
I watched the movie without translation, in English! I understood almost everything!
What is the movie about?
About the waters...
And what did they say?
- Well "Okay", "Split" and what else...

xxx: for an onion with a good balance ask for 6 thousand T_t
YYY: Probably the Elphic work...

X: Tell me, how can you convince your psychiatrist that the Pelmen have their own civilization?? to
y: Say that every time you cook them - they are constantly rebelling against the regime - then more than three are gathered together, clinging together, then in general they emerge friendly and bullshit!!! to

I am a candidate for the Duma. Interview a woman aged 25-30 years.
He asks: Tell me, and your election promises, are you actually going to follow them?
I think: Wolf followed, he withdrew from the elections of the SC...
Do you tell the truth or lie?
Girl: I will be fired for the truth, you confuse so that I can believe.

This is how we live...

The child raised by the admin calls the father-in-law "New folder".