Xxx: We and a classmate were sitting in an abandoned house, smoking cigarettes, we were 12-13 years old, and here comes a man, takes off his pants and starts shaking, looking at us, well we sat by the window, smooked and ran to the very house five kilometers without looking back, the next time I smoked only at 21 years old)

Yyy: “A quick way to get your child out of smoking. and reliable. The guarantee.”

If the president, the Duma and the government knew how hard it is to actually work, they’t be raising the retirement age.

This amazing story happened more than 10 years ago, but telling it now doesn’t leave me feeling like it was only yesterday.
So one summer morning my mom suddenly said to me:
Do you remember I said that we have relatives in the N-sk? To find them...
What is known? The name? The street where you lived?
"When we lived in Novosibirsk, they were often transcribed, I still remember the address: Trofimov, 28. And as they moved to Moscow, they lost... And I remember the name - Zhuleev. These are cousins of my father, their three brothers were, and the middle Cyril I remember very well, he came to us when I was three or four years old.
My mother is a storehouse of ideas, sometimes comparable to flying to the moon. But in the age of computer technology, why not look for it?
Do you want to go and look for it?
Why not go, right? The town is small. If I don’t find it, I just travel.
My mother is going on a journey. The question is where to stop.
By the way, the streets of the School in N-sk Yandex cards I did not find, because. The name was changed, as it was later discovered.
At the time, the classmates were very popular. Having unsuccessfully searched for Zhuleev there in the N-sk, it was decided to go the non-trivial way: taking the most common surname Ivanov, I was immediately lucky, because there were several in the N-sk. I wrote to them all, say, people we are not local, we are looking for the relatives of Zhuleev, do you not know such (a small town). I would also like to know about the hotel, as we are going to your city for two weeks from 1 to 15 July. Help as you can.
The first Ivanov replied that, said, yes, there is a hotel "Hlavna" and the phone gave it, but he did not hear anything about Zhuleev. The second Ivanov Kostya (we then became friends with him) said that he had a friend with a private hotel on the border of the city, but he also knows nothing about Zhuleev. And the third Ivanov wrote the following: “Unfortunately, I will not be in the city at these dates. But here’s the phone number of my wife, she’ll be in the city: it’s not good if a man in our city is lost.” The Wives. Here, in this place, my mother and I naturally cried: this is how our whole country holds on Ivanov! Give a stranger the number of his wife, only so that the guest does not get lost.
Well, I think a couple and about tickets to think about. Without saying anything to my mother, I buy tickets for the train back and forth, and in a couple of days I say, say, come, tickets on hand. To say that my mother was surprised, not to say anything: it was she just thought so, thoughts out loud, and here - and tickets have already been bought.
Where do I go, to whom? My mother cried.
“There you’ll find out,” I replied, waiting for an empty apartment for two weeks.
Of course, we booked a private hotel for my mom, and overall I didn’t have any concerns about her fate.
By the way, right before my mother left my cell phone broke, completely. I gave her my, too, very old apparatus, but quite alive.
So, the march of Slavyanka was accomplished, my mother went on search, taking old photos with relatives, I stayed in Moscow, and each of us had a life.
My mother said, “I got on the train and I thought, ‘Where am I going?’ What if I find no one there? Do I need it at all? There are no hotels there? Or maybe I’ll get to Peter, go out, talk there for two weeks, and then go back and say I haven’t found anyone? Then I think, well, how to do so, a child (and at 30 we are also children for their parents) bought tickets for their money, and what do I do...? I am determined, I will go to the end.
I come, parking as always 2 minutes, hardly had time to get out of the car, I look, and around the forest, and no one, and the station building is not. I was specifically caught in panic. Where to go? Where are people. People, by the way, were in front of me, just my car was the last. I’m running after those people, even asking where the station is. The station was in the middle of the platform, very beautiful. Then I found a taxi and went to the hotel. I knock, I call, and no one opens. I called the owner of the hotel – it doesn’t fit.”
At this point, I call my mom to find out how it went. She says no, because there is no one. I call Kosta, where is your friend? A friend, it turns out, has gone to the funeral, but is coming soon. Okay, his mother waited for him, settled very comfortably and life was immediately more fun.
The next day I call her for lunch, what do you do? And I, he says, is already in the garden of Kirill (her uncle)! How, I say, is it so? Did you find it at night? He says in the morning. And he tells:
“Wake up, strengthened, dressed up, painted (not seeing relatives for 50 years) and went. In the world as a cane. Well, I think where to go? I remember that one of my brothers was a professional musician and was even the director of a music school. Here I will start with her.
The town is small, with all the hands. I asked if there was a music school. It is said to be around the corner. I go to school, the door is open, but there is no one, summer vacation. I go in and ask, people, who is there? There, they answer, on the second floor, get up. I get up and there is a woman sitting at the table:
Hi to you! What did you want?
Good day! I am looking for relatives, Jules.
Everything I remember, I tell her. She thought about. No, he says, you do not need the Zhuleevs, but the Pancrats. I am, say, what Pancrats, I have never heard such a name. She said, wait, I’ll call her son.
Hello my son, hello! Tell me, where is the Stas Pancrats now? In the car shop? And his father Kirill? In the hospital? I understand, well thank you!
So, you need Kirill Pankratov, your uncle, he is in the hospital planned with the heart. Here, in the corner. My son and I studied together.
Well, I doubt, the name is not that. Well, okay, I go to the hospital, especially nearby.
After saying goodbye to the director of the music school (and it was she), I got to the hospital in five minutes, found out where Pankratov lies, got up in the chamber, knock, go, there are several men lying there, and he is not among them, i.e. My uncle is not there, no matter what name he is. I ask, where are the pancrats? Yes, on the procedures, it will come now, they answer. I sit down, I wait, the door opens and enters...Kyril! I immediately recognized him and threw myself on my neck, shouting, “Kyril, dear!”
And he said, woman, something I do not recognize you. And I show him with my hand, say, wait, now, and I get a black-and-white photo from my bag, where he is 21 years old and he holds me 3-4 years old in his arms and show him. Well, then he recognized me, of course, shouting “Alenka, is it you?!”Then you hugged and kissed and cried. They sat down and remembered. Yes, he says, I need to call Stas to come here urgently. and calls:
- Stas, come to the hospital urgently, no, health is fine, come, I say.
While we were talking, Stas arrived. He walks through the hallway, tall, smiling. And Kirill says to him:
“Meet me, Stas, this is your sister, Olya.
Stas, cleverly shaking his eyes, asks:
Does my mother know?
The laughter spread throughout the hospital.
Of course, Kirill immediately signed out, and we all went home to him. Then there were sessions, stories, who and what and where.
And with the surname in general, it was interesting: Kirill's mother, Avdotia, had two sons from the first marriage, the first husband died and after some time she married again, just for Zhuleyev, and gave birth to a third son. Father was a very good man and did not want his older brothers by their surname, so they remained Pankratov. "
Do you stay at the hotel? What you are, Mother answers, Kirill as he learned that I am in the hotel, immediately, says, move to us. I said, so what can I do, maybe I will live in a hotel, why do you bother? And Kirill said to her, yes, you say, the whole city will laugh at me and be ashamed: her nephew from Moscow lives in a hotel!
Stas then told us that he had seen our photos (mama and her father) and all asked his relatives what they were and where they were.
Then my mom met and took a picture. In the memory.
The next day, my mother went to see the area. Right behind Kirill's house, a German blend was preserved, then the road went to the mountain and the forest. Walking a little, she saw a spring. He, as it turned out, was found by her grandfather (the father of Kirilla) and arranged. There were huge valleys and caves. I walked a little further and saw a local attraction - the Soap Lake. The water is so soft that you can wash without soap.
The next day, my mother decided to go for a walk in the center. When I went back, I saw a taxi standing. I asked him if he could bring him to Trofimov, 28. And he answers, say, of course I’ll go. Ask me how much the trip costs. He is nothing to me... I say, say, but how do I understand it? He says, “Are you looking for your brother, Stas Pancratoff? You’re from Moscow?” I say, say, yes, it’s me.
All of our relatives there are not one generation of railroad workers. And the first was the grandfather, and his shape of the railroad is now hanging in the museum in N-sk. The Dynasty. The homeland.
After this story has been many, many years and we visit them and they visit us.
This is how we found.
And this story is told at every family holiday, and not always by the participants themselves and with new details.

Instead of living in Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia like in France, people come to France to live in Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia. It is strange. It is even more strange to force the French to live, like in Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia.

I used to sit in the bus next to a beautiful girl, and now – next to the one who is in a mask.

Middle of the 90s. The Surgeon. It was.
My friends are a wonderful family couple of Andrew and Lenko. She is an intelligent beauty, teaching children in a music school to play the accordion. Andryucha (Goblin) is a true strawper, breaker and braznik. They met in the ensemble, where she was a soloist, and he was knocking on drums.
Lenka in the spring graduated from car school, forced her husband to buy a used mosquito 2141 for practice and here her dreams failed, as Andrew liked driving himself.
On this bad day, we three went to a new field for mushrooms. The places were wild, but they laid a concrete of three plates 2 meters wide and it was comfortable to drive. They came, picked up mushrooms and sat down to eat before the way back. Relaxed and forgotten that there is no limit to female cowardice. Lennočka covered the lawn: sandwiches-salads, cucumbers-tomates and drinks did not forget to pour out of the bottle. The good guys rejoiced, rolled around and remembered! Unfortunately it was late! “And I took the right!” we accepted, drank a drink, sat down on the back seat and went. Surprisingly, although Kraza and Kamaza flew to meet, Lenka drove the car very decently, confidently. There are still 200 meters to the asphalt, the road is empty, only in front of the track some lighthouse turned to us.
Lenka strained and slowed. “What are you, Len?”
“Silence, there’s a grandmother driving!”
“How did you see so far?”
“I don’t know, I hear her. Who knows what to expect from her! I am afraid!”
He swung his right wheels to the side. The next car did the same. And Andrewha and I watched as they (there really is a lady behind the wheel), with a dead grip stuck in the wheel, quietly travel with a gap between the sides of more than 2 meters. After leaving, Lenka returned to the road and joyfully sang something moving on. I was in front of the crabs, but it wasn’t scary.

Retirement is understandable. The most important thing is not to be deceived with heaven.

In Russian, the numbers are quite enough.

How about 20?

and twenty

20 – twenty, 30 – thirty, 40 – forty

No, forty

What is 40? Why is?

Yes, I’m XZ, just 40

Okay, then 50 – 50

No, we start adding “five” at the end, fifty.

Strange, but okay, 60 – sixty, 70 – seventy, 80 – eighty, 90 – ninety

No, ninety

What for? Why is there a hundred?

A hundred is 100

Is the ninety going before the hundred? Is it at all how? 100 to 100, how about 200?

Two hundred

- two turned into two and added "three", well, it is Russian language, three does not turn into some "three"? 300 - three hundred

No, three hundred

300 – three hundred, 400 – four hundred, 500 – five hundred

No, five hundred

And go to...

I have a friend, Dim. He always loved to eat, but lately has generally released the chiefs, rotating a bowl of fried pork with potatoes almost every day. And on the weekend, he and his family generally have a hard day: swimsuits, swimsuits, baths.



I didn’t see him for a few months, and they literally met yesterday. All in updates - jeans, jacket, sweater. At first I didn't even recognize him - so fat, his face round like the moon. “Good health,” I say. You bought a coat last year and got a new one.

“Yes,” he replies, “today all the clothes are fucking, the jacket is seated, it doesn’t find.”



Well, as long as I am alive, I have never heard that the upper clothes were put on. Jeans and sweaters were also there.

Whoever does not work with folders, works with mommies. (Prophetic of System Admins)

Some cases that occurred in life, seeming insignificant, after years are realized.Through a series of painful dejaws and illuminations - so this is what it was or who it was!!! And some immediately seem surprising, but continue to surprise much later again and again, as if a bubble is swallowing out of the information and knowledge obtained later.
In the 1970s, working in a student building unit, I was forced to rush home after the announcement of a big trouble. How then I found a message - a separate story, because then in the deaf non-Black Earth, not that there was no mail, telegraph and telephone - sometimes there was no electricity. The trouble began when he wounded his hand, he found only 10 rubles of money, only the shape remained clean, and the cedar asked for a bowl. Most importantly, I am late. Running to the station, I saw only the tail of the train, the last... the prospect of sitting overnight on the semi-station and more.
As he climbed up, he helped some grandfather with a stick. He looked like he said "old-regime" - a kosovorotka, a chromed boots jacket, a kind of armor on his head. But the jacket was really pre-revolutionary... I was not in the spirit, and I felt, the head was turning. Therefore, when the old man asked where I was going, he answered not very friendly. And the old man, looking at the astonishment of the blue-eyed with clear eyes, proposed: what about you, sweet servant, you will sit here at night, sit on the Moscow train, it is going in an hour, and in the capital you will just sit straight to the house! I was surprised by the knowledge of the routes, but I agreed – it would be even faster.
The next thing happened like in the fog...I helped the old woman to get up in the car, the driver, looking at my grandfather, suddenly led us in an empty couch and didn’t even take the stretched cherry...I was shaken and shaken. Grandfather suddenly touched my forehead, pulse, looked at somewhat wrapped, swollen brush and immediately said you have a flegmon and the infection of the blood begins. If I don’t clean it, I can die in a few hours. I said something - we say in the train, to the station to go, to the ambulance, to the hospital, I can not be late home and so on... But the old man and says - you can not get there, but he can clean up here, he is a doctor, but there is no time to think and doubt! He’s not Luca, but that’s his specialty.
And I immediately believed – the old man took out a box with tools, bandages, some bottles, spread a medical cloth. Immediately I said - I anesthetized only half a glass of vodka, which I caught... the next thing is remembered even more vaguely - the pain from the cut, something is flowing, some forging, something poured into the wound - but the pain was released very quickly, I, pressing my hand like a baby, suddenly relaxed and pulled me to sleep... But my grandfather gave me a thermometer, checking it every half an hour, and forbade me to fall asleep, inhibiting and forcing me to answer questions. I asked about him myself, he said something that he studied with some Luca in Pereyaslav, when he was still working in the earth hospital in the Vladimir province. At the surprise question – and how old my grandfather was, I got the shocking answer: hundred!!! to
And then he told that he was born in a family of priests in the Yaroslavl province, he himself graduated from the seminary and received the rank in the 19th century. but he was not attracted by his church profession - at the beginning of the twentieth century he enrolled in the Moscow University, the medical faculty. Grandfather remembered the outstanding scientists he studied with, celebrities – but I don’t remember who exactly... Then he worked in a small town in Yaroslavl, studied with an outstanding surgeon, who was also a priest – Luke.
And then there was the Imperialist, work in hospitals, then the revolution... Civil, White Army... And then the Soviet power was deprived of houses, jobs and imprisoned. But another trouble came - before the very Patriotic War, they created a fish reservoir and a hydroelectric power plant, and the town and the village simply drowned... Already then this physician-priest was an elderly and he did not have a home. He went to Russia and became a wandering pope. He came to Kiev just when the war began – withdrew with refugees, but the Germans overcame – fell into occupation. He walked through the villages, performed rites, treated in a quiet manner - the Germans repeatedly threatened to spy... He fell into a guerrilla detachment, treated, sang, and the partisans almost spied - they thought he was a spy. The commander, whose hand he saved... But after liberation by the Red Army, the officers were still struggling to find out. And they persecuted him in the camps until the fifty-sixth year. While I was sitting, I worked more and more in hospitals and I met Luke again! They let go, and there is nowhere to go, even if the passport was given. On Kolym, he worked in a hospital, with her, he lived in a cabin, but went back to walk in Russia - he reached Vladivostok and walked to the First Presbyterian! And then he walked around Vladimir and many places and quietly baptized and sang for food.
And then he said that he goes to Zagorsk, to the Lavra, to ask for the atonement of sins and shelter - there is no way to wander.
When I woke up in the morning, my grandfather, running and looking, said that I was okay, advised the doctor to go, pulled something in my hand and melted in the crowd of people going out. And in his hand was an aluminum cross curved.
Already in the late nineties, on a business trip, we talked in UAZIK on the road, and I remembered this story and showed that curved cross... The driver stopped so that I barely tried the windscreen on my forehead..The driver got the same cross and said that it belonged to his father, a former partisan, who had been looking for some pop that saved his life.

I bought a chocolate cake today. It turns out, the cake can be bought, even if there is no celebration! They don’t even check!