I woke up at 8 a.m. and decided to go to work in the morning. I am looking for conspiracy.
And here I get in the eye a laser indicator-a-a..
I have two cats.
Half the fourth.
I have not even eaten breakfast yet.

I heard on the radio. The child said in this Russian voice:
A little girl came out on the street. and did not return. Her parents sent her a brother. And he didn’t come back"
His voice is joyful:
Why go out on the street if there is a Russian Post? Post of Russia, you can sign up for everything!"

This is not even "what the author smoked". Why were the parents of the author not protected?! to

Treat defeat with humor, if it does not help you, it will not bring full pleasure to the winner. (Author of the Orthodox)

How we set up a garage.
If you remember, in the Soviet times, in the cities of large and small, iron garages began to grow. After purchasing VAZ-2103, my father also bought a assembly garage.
Garages were placed in rows, sides to each other and "back to back". When we brought our garage, all the neighbors were already standing; left, right and back, so the garage must first be assembled in the open place, and already assembled, a crane, pressed between the neighbors. Having summoned the people and mobilized a 5.5-liter canister of alcohol, Dad went to collect the garage, I got connected with him, I was 9 years old.
Five men celebrated the meeting, grams of 50 spirits, the autumn is cold.
Six men (5 + truck driver) noted the arrival of the garage x 50g.
6 x 50g - marked the unloading of sheets of the left wall of the garage
7 x 50 g - right (car crane, 6 + crane)
7 x 50g - rear wall
7 x 50g - roof
7 x 50 g - gate
7 x 50 g - marked full unloading and tearful separation with the ZIL driver
6 x 50g - celebration of the joining of sections of the left wall
6 x 50g - right 6 x 50g - solemn celebration of the links and rear walls
5 x 50 g - the right and rear walls are stacked, darkened, one of the
The monitors are tired, sleeping in the car crane
5 x 50g - two events at once, twisted doors and roof
5 x 50 g - the gates were twisted, because they were originally twisted up with their legs, it turned out that the plant was not "handy" and the fixing holes were still there.
5 x 50 g - dark, the assembly is over, there is nothing to drink alcohol, and no longer want to.
5 x 50g - consilium, is it worth going after the car now to chew it up with a garage
5 x 50g - consensus - it is better not to walk
6 x 50g - the trunk of the crane is clogged, the garage hangs half a meter above the ground, sleeping - awakened
6 x 10 drops - the garage is installed, the alcohol is over, the child (I) climbs and something is shaking there.
The tears of separation of the best friends.
The child tried to say that the garage was placed in the back, the gates closer to the garage, which is behind us.
Correction of the situation required 5X500 g of vodka for three.

Grateful Russia Mr. Nuraliyev instead of the usual "Head of the Interior Ministry" now calls the head of the Interior Ministry.

We are here (just don’t laugh too much) to take pictures of all kinds of weddings))))
WOW : WOW. Do you settle?
We are here just about this and rjem))) No proposals yet, but we already have everything picked up))))
WOW: Oh, when you are shown the ring, you will respond to the wedding bill with a detailed description of the whole procedure.
WOW: I imagine, "go out for me" - "yes, sweet. Zags ordered at.... at...., then we go for a walk in.... and at....., then the restaurant "...", then we go to the hotel "...", the dress is ordered, go buy a suit...." and again at the end "Ah, sweet, it’s so unexpected, I’m right and I don’t know what to say..."
Roof: Roof Roof

Good guys, I need your help!
A cat came to my door. He is very beautiful and puffy, clean; very kind but scared eyes. I was looking for its owners all over the area, but most likely it was just thrown out:( The cat is young, affectionate, it is immediately visible that it is domestic. He wants to find a new master. Due to family circumstances, unfortunately, I can’t take him with me :( Maybe any of you can help me find him a new home, give the unhappy animal a second chance! of Moscow. (916) 912 to 54-80.
Help me get to the top!

Pelevo - this is the question of mom "You are not pregnant?" to answer "I don't know".

Zubchick: There seemed to be a joke that if you throw all the comments with the word "fuck" out of the code of the kernel of Linux it will lose several hundred kilobytes of weight.
kurokikaze:... and will stop loading)

Enthusiastic

Do you read the abyss? The peelings are burning.

The fight against the flu is giving its fruits.The people enthusiastically crack on onions, lemons and garlic.
In the end, 9 people with the flu are infected, in gastroenterology 40 people with gastritis.

Free Wi-Fi is launched at all Moscow stations, now the bombs will climb in the inlet.
All students will be there.
zzz: all the hobbits will be there, waiting for the school and students with cpk and notes

"In the phone with Chinese firmware when sending SMS appears the inscription "SMS poisoned".
Every time I send "poisoned" letters I feel a terrible villain.

Everyone who rides in buses knows how pleasant it is to pay with the conductor with the little things... and the less the better! In the same way, the conductors are pleased to send you a booth that you would then give it to another conductor... No one knows who started this war, and no one knows how it will end...

X: Now, on the TV clip Timati One-Class. I wondered where he was studying that all his classmates were currency prostitutes?
y: in the school of small currency whores
He finished this school with a gold medal.
and *ROFL*

The movie, the new moon.
The light goes off, the session begins, a couple of minutes passes, from the depth of the hall a surprised male voice
by Fuck! Did we go to Newcastle?! to

to this:

You don’t have anything to do, Manuela!
The best, he will win! Or fucking broke up here... school, not school... Honey does anything, and what interesting has your wicked cat done? Damn shit, and all that? PFF...
____
Well, someone will finally explain what a fool, this zen, where did he come from at all, and what he does at 1 place in the vote of the rune? 90% of the normal people surveyed were surprised to ask: who, Madison, and who is the worst?

I received 11 beautiful roses today.
YYY: The note was from whom?
XXX: No...
YYY: Am I really good? and ;)

From a friend's story about his trip to the village:
"... So when they brought me drunk to a fight..."

Why didn’t you come yesterday, didn’t you call me yesterday?
I watched the "Blessed Fools".
Is this a new film where Brad Pitt plays? Why didn’t you call me?
This is where we played 1-0.