bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73437
 27.11.2012
In the entire galaxy there are fewer blue stars than in our show business.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №73436
 27.11.2012
This ice-blooded story happened many years ago when I was still a student working as an ambulance in one of the districts of Samara. As a rule, every ambulance in any area has an undercover but well-known list of unloved addresses. Our station was no exception either. Our heroes, the most capricious and boring patients, we knew in the face. Some Praskovia Philipovna constantly terrorized our emergency, with a periodicity of up to three to four times a day. Going out for her "bad with the heart", it was ultimately necessary to convince the sick that plus-minus five millimeters of mercury in the indications of her blood pressure - this is the physiological norm, that today's nine-hour absence of the stool - it is not a sign of the faeces, that the cardiogram again and again not only heart attack - even arrhythmias does not say. And, of course, to teach by hand the geography and nature of all kinds of stirrings, bullshit, compressions and murmurs. It is clear that it is not worth expecting something else from the hypochondria, but when the flu epidemic, the brigades do not get out of the cars, and the call to her address only for today is the fourth...
At the fourth call, Vasilich, a doctor from God, an Afghan veteran, did not resist. The soul asks for Homs. After leaving the officer at the station and joking with the dispatcher, why did she make big eyes and quickly burst, he said to the people in a smoker:
We’ll argue on the cognac that Philippovna won’t get anyone this week!
I hit my hands and the doctor went. He returned quickly. Five minutes after his arrival, the telephone ringed. After removing the telephone, the controller listened for a minute, floating in a smile, kicked, and then, pressing the lever of the reboot, called somewhere. Cognac Vasilich disputed, and how! No one called from this address for a month and a half. Vasilich and the controller were silent as partisans, so at the end of the challenge received from Praskovia Filipovna almost dropped a draw, who to go - before that it was curious to know the details from the first mouth.
It turned out that, last time opening the door to the doctor, the patient stumbled: the squalope stood on the four and held a suitcase in his teeth. After holding out the theatrical pause, he put his suitcase on the floor and squinted on it four times. After that, the man in his coat turned around and shook down the stairs on four. When the confusion passed, Philipovna called the ambulance again and complained that the doctor, the fool, was lying on her. The manager turned out to be a nice and responsive girl and promised to send normal doctors.
When another brigade arrived, "not in the example of this, all as a selection, just grenaders!“The doctor asked so:
Did you say he was on the four?
Yes yes yes!
And even, forgive me, laughed like a dog?
A true cross!
I have to say that in all the one and a half months of being in the psychiatric hospital, the heart of Praskovia Filipovna did not get sick once.

[ + 27 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73435
 27.11.2012
My husband just got me with his semi-literate sex, and I can’t even teach him not to burn up.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73434
 27.11.2012
Ekaterina
Do you know how to break pages?

Dmitry
I can cut the scissors!
Broken hard

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73433
 27.11.2012
Max (15:09:45 26/11/2012)
I walked with Yulka on Merlin, and I heard by the edge of my ear:
For the big room, this is the decor.
and hm. I think it is expensive...
What is fucking? Have you swallowed? You know how angry this word is! Do not dare to explain it! You hear! Do not laugh!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №73432
 27.11.2012
I ask my husband if he can stand on his head. He spoke in childhood.
And the happiness?
I’m twice as fat! The head is still the same. ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73431
 27.11.2012
by F.A.Q Stima
Q: I'm trying to buy the game, but Steam makes a mistake: "Ups we're sorry. This game is not available in your region"
A: This game is not available in your region.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №73430
 27.11.2012
Yana
All monsters must in their lives sink a ship, kill a man and die by the sword of the hero.
Joy is
I have so many more things to do.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №73429
 27.11.2012
ChePochem: what they will not offer not to do lighting, so you can and street cats in light vests to dress... and pigeons...

And you look at yourself in the morning, under the lamp, you can never see the man in dark clothes. In the morning you go out, and under the lamp you see only reflectors on children's clothes, and you can only guess about the presence of a mother in a black or dark gray coat nearby.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №73428
 27.11.2012
Daria: *Send a picture* It reads: "The reaction of the ordinary man to the saucer - Oh what a cute bird! My reaction to the swallow – Hey you, bird, I know it’s you who eaten my Hogwarts letter!
Tagged with: Dada
Daria: What does Dada mean, where is my letter? >_<

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73427
 26.11.2012
After the first births, I thought: "It is very unfortunate that the childhood story that children are found in cabbage turned out to be false :( "

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №73426
 26.11.2012
Fuck them, with grandmothers with tattoos on the back. The first retirees with tunnels in their ears will soon appear!

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73425
 26.11.2012
I got to the point that when I read the list of U.S. universities, I tried to read Oxford as a sixteenth number.

You have to be able to do so to find Oxford in the United States.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73424
 26.11.2012
China to build world’s tallest building in 90 days
WOW: Is it probably somehow related to the fact that Asians have the smallest penises in statistics?

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73423
 26.11.2012
The husband revolves around and hints at the repayment of the marital debt. I, without breaking away from the computer in which I build in 3D MAX'e, I give out: "Dear, take off, I have enough eggs with max!" What eyes he had...

[ + 27 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73422
 26.11.2012
As I chase on the IS-3, the computer begins to lie.
The tank is heavy!

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73421
 26.11.2012
I go under a barrel to my sleeping husband, cling to his back with my nose and, gradually warming up, I say, “Mmm, my husband... He’s still warm!”

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №73420
 26.11.2012
Call a friend’s girlfriend:
I don’t have a place to stay, I’ll stay with you for a few days.
Will we hide it or tell it to everyone?? to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №73419
 26.11.2012
Forum on C++

Leprikoshka: You have to find the maximum and the minimum in the two-dimensional range, and change their places. How to implement?

Iqka: remove all elements and change places for maximum and minimum.
of elementary!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №73418
 26.11.2012
1 Ahah, on wiki jokers. I read about functional keys, all kinds of f...
F13 is used for various magical spells.
Then I pressed :(
2 is not found?
Probably like a nine and three-quarters platform.
1 and I am a ugly maggull (

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