bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №22860
 24.11.2009
Today I received an internal mail:

Dear employees!
Tomorrow, November 24, in connection with the stay in our city of President of the Russian Federation Medvedev (or Putin), please come to work on public transport!
It is not a joke. Parking on the Volga River.

The country has not yet decided who of them is president.

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22859
 24.11.2009
From the incredible...
I went to wash the dishes - added music accordingly so that it was very well heard in the aske sound turned on... After some time I clearly hear askin A-Ou...I fit...a message from an unknown number...You could not relieve a little more quietly, we have a small child, it is your neighbors from above.
The curtain.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №22858
 24.11.2009
I drove on the track.Pole lawn and 1 sign trips - Save the forest!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №22857
 24.11.2009
A person who is responsible only to God is not responsible at all.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №22856
 24.11.2009
It was summer, in a distant and beautiful childhood. I was on vacation with my grandfather and grandmother in the village. My cousin Valera was sent to them for "re-education", thus ensuring his parents a peaceful existence for at least two months.
It should be noted that Valera was two years younger than me, distinguished by unlimited discouragement and stubbornness, but was a funny guy. According to his grandfather, Valera was an exact copy of his older brother Michael, which I hardly believed, since Uncle Misha was a respected man, a frontman with a bunch of all kinds of medals and orders, and in combination an outstanding carpenter.
So it turned out that soon came and uncle Misha to help his grandfather set up a roof for the bathroom, in shiny chromium boots, which he was very proud of. On the second day of his stay in guests, presumably on educational grounds, a conflict occurred between Uncle Misha and Valera, which ended with the well-deserved backbone Valera. This was the beginning of the guerrilla “war” between Valera and Uncle Misha.
One beautiful summer morning, my uncle Mishina’s virtuous mother’s whip was spread all over the house with an occasionally gliding definition in it.
“Valera is a shit.” The reason for which was the presence of one left shoe in the senes and the complete absence of the right. Whose hand it was, there was no doubt.
- Misha, and he's right to take both, enough one, you're in one left
You will not walk? Grandfather noticed reasonably.
After a short educational process, the shoe was brought by himself.
and Valery. He was hidden in the shrubs. No more shoes.
The next day, at three in the morning, a confused and confused Valera came out of the shadows.
Not to my grandfather, but to me.
I have these shoes...
The others who heard this continued to eat breakfast. Grandpa thought about something for a moment and smiled a little.
Going out in the shade and approached the shoes, the grandfather examined them, removed the stickers from them, and called me. The shoes were twisted to the wooden floor with self-cuts.
Well here, you see? And you didn’t believe they stood up with each other, he told me.
Grandpa smiled.
“Walker, with whom have you fought, right? The front intelligence? – is
My grandfather went to Valerie. Then he added to the open door:
“Mish, let’s turn around, old joke man.
After that, there was no higher authority for Valera than Uncle Mish.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №22855
 24.11.2009
What a recession you grew up, Martha!
What did you grow up, Kuzmić?
You are dark, you do not know the words of culture! They said on television:
Our economy is in deep recession.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №22854
 24.11.2009
to this:

to this

Uriah! I finally managed to sneeze during an orgasm (=
Untransmitted sensations, time to insert a new chapter in Kamassutra
____________________________
Tell me, what about a partner there?
We are worried here...

_____________________________________

I understand that there is nothing to worry about: with one hand, the guy knocked a pen, and the other ticked a pen in his nose.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №22853
 24.11.2009
Correspondence at work.
You look out the window, the snow has fallen. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, let’s get snowmen!! to
222: Emm.. Nicholas, in general, they glue ordinary babs, and snow - they glue))

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №22852
 24.11.2009
Ever thought of eating happy tickets as a child?
Successful +1

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №22851
 24.11.2009
Lexus : now the first advertising of some cartoon, say "sounded by Jim Carrey"
I : And what?
Lexus: What does it matter to me who sounded the duplicated movie behind the bug?? to

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №22850
 24.11.2009
I work in the factory. The worker (treated, more or less adequate) says to the master (eternally drunk):
-Kol, I repeat to you a few times: this is not a disclosure, but a technical documentation!
and 😉

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №22849
 24.11.2009
We went to the "Christmas story" - a picnic fairy tale for children!
I was still at the box office over the warning: “Some scenes can scare children up to 12 years old.”
Some scenes can scare children up to 27 years old.

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22848
 24.11.2009
Killed me plays.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" Once in the army, when they pulled a heavy closet, everyone laughed and pulled on. The second time at home, when no one was there, the event went unnoticed. Well, the third look in the eyes of the woman, which he sought for about a month, in a moment of dull silence, usually preceding the long first kiss. And most importantly so loudly, shamelessly, with floods! The PMP!

I was crying 😉 😉

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №22847
 24.11.2009
I installed a Japanese Windowx Vista... steamed.
Yyyy is right? 0 0 0

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №22846
 24.11.2009
xxx: take for example the number 10 in it there is 0 and 0 means desolation
YYY: Oh my God! What does the dual numbering system say?
XXX: What kind of system? I do not know such
Are you sure you are a Siddhartha? Could the word "binary" tell you something about it?
XX: I work with them and I do my job well. In order to switch channels on the TV, it is not necessary to know what it consists of and I try not to knock my head because I am not interested.
YYY: Here are people calling me and asking why they don’t have the internet, although the IP address is 10.20.5.666
XXX: There is no such thing.
YYY: Why then?
Everything begins with 192.

The Cat. by Odin. and Schröder.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №22845
 23.11.2009
Glass (14:45:48 23/11/2009)
Do you have any videos where we smoked Salvia?
Blake (14:46:34 23/11/2009)
Enter your name on YouTube.

[ + 113 - ] Comment quote №22844
 23.11.2009
Mamka strapped the flu vaccine from work to inject me and Batty at home.I am sitting behind the comp, she suits me to inject this in my shoulder, does..in a few seconds avast says with a lively voice "The virus database is updated")) O_o

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №22843
 23.11.2009
xxx: Guests are needed to keep the house in order from time to time.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №22842
 23.11.2009
Comment to the photo: "And this is we and Katyushka see the lesson of Russian"

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №22841
 23.11.2009
A picture, a demotivator, a girl on it and a signature: "In the junior classes, boys beat beautiful girls with wallets on their heads, and then wonder why all the beautiful girls are stupid."

The comments killed:
I am a victim of violence.
- Katya, there is written “beautiful” HDD

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