bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39386
 26.11.2010
The sound that came from her side made her turn around. And she immediately understood why the people in Orléans were so quiet and kind.
Mother had to hear that in foreign countries there are countries where thieves rub their hands so that there is nothing to steal. This approach has never been approved.
This was not done in Orléans. Their heads were cut off so that no one could even think of the theft.
© Terry Pratchett, "Witch Abroad"

You know, I think we can only bring order in the same way.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №39385
 26.11.2010
What if I tell you all about my feelings?
The Pizzeria

[ + 54 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39384
 26.11.2010
We have a gazelle running around the city of some company, with an interesting inscription: "Tra-ta-ta! Tra-T to T! We bring a package with us!" The question "Where is the package?", in vain, even no one arises.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №39383
 26.11.2010
“Julia, after all that I’ve learned about you, I, as an honest man, must now marry you!”
After all that you learned about me, you still want to marry me???

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39382
 26.11.2010
Blizzard (21:34:08 24/11/2010)
Fuck... you need to come up with an advertising slogan for a dental clinic,... somehow there are snow-white teeth, beating a black rotten tooth, and the signature "white power!"

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №39381
 26.11.2010
I drink tea with my wife in the kitchen, the zombie detector begins, on the question “Have you used household items for sexual pleasure?” the trial woman answers “Yes,” playing intense music, quiet whispering in the room waiting for the detector’s response, and here my wife, imitating a sinister voice, broadcasts “This is...MIXER!!”and "

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №39380
 26.11.2010
Read in "hyperbolloid engineer Garin"
The emblem of the evil empire was a yellow circle with three black strips.
Tolstoy predicted the fate of Bilayn

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №39379
 25.11.2010
X: What’s up with science?
YYY: No, I have a history. Development of hydrotechnology in Russia in 17-18v. What to write there? 99% of hydrotechnics at the time were carried out by bobs :(

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №39378
 25.11.2010
Count: thought hamsters to start, but Tanjuha says they smell cooler than horkks
Wolf: You will not wash them.
The Count: Why?
Yes, only in the laundry.
You are in a hurry because
Count: planted in a bowl, poured water with shampoo, threw the hamster, closed the bowl, shaken -... a hamster, and clean hamster
The Wolf: And the Werewolf
The Count: Clean

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №39377
 25.11.2010
XXX is
Tagged with: "O" O_o

YYYY
Are they still dusting?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №39376
 25.11.2010
My daughter is 2.5 years. Talk about pioneers. Teached the daughter to raise her hand and speak to the call "Be ready" - "Always ready!" Time passes. The daughter approaches and salutes: "Be healthy!". We laugh. She understands that she did not say that. is corrected. "God will help you!"

[ + 81 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39375
 25.11.2010
Rise to speed today at 06:00:

It’s time to fail.
Error 1053: The service did not respond to the request on time
The brain:
“Well, let’s get up, right?
The Body: Fatal Error
Brain: Idiot, do we drink like that?
I am not specifically...
Brain: Be it yourself
I: help me
Brain: "the subscriber is not responding or temporarily unavailable"
See also: PLU
I: body, go to the shower, I will give you water
The Body: Drink
The brain is genius!
Body (in the bathroom): look at the Pokémon in the mirror!! to
The Brain: Roof
It’s not Pokemon, it’s you.
The body: not the guy, it’s you)))
The Brain: Bugoga
I am : pl.. (

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №39374
 25.11.2010
I liked the topic on the router.
"The creators of "The Witcher" will punish Internet pirates"
The first stone is brilliant.
I don’t like the witch, but I download this game and put it out for six months.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №39373
 25.11.2010
Cristo: Belarus is an amazing country. You can put a fool here for being a fool.
Neverhood: Have you been arrested?

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39372
 25.11.2010
Ma3aXaKeP: Coming to my girlfriend with a child of one year old...
Ma3aXaKeP: Sitting and drinking...
Ma3aXaKeP: A friend decided to stay with us, and there are no diapers for the child... Well they asked me to go, her friend also needed a valerian...
Ma3aXaKeP: On the way I remembered that my asked for a pregnancy test to buy...
Ma3aXaKeP: Shortly I go with all this in my hands (there were no packs in the pharmacy)...
Ma3aXaKeP: Well questions like usual type "You drank?" and "A smell is" well, etc. I asked to go to a glass...
Ma3aXaKeP: Here is another one, apparently the older one of them... He asks where he said it, well, they said...
Ma3aXaKeP: He looked at me this way, then what was in his hands, and said this way...
Ma3aXaKeP: "Let go home, I would also after that" o_O

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №39371
 25.11.2010
The xxx:
I adore my friends. Only they, in the periods of my complications with a girlfriend can write to me: "You do not write to me at all, forgot about me, got a grandmother?"

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №39370
 25.11.2010
Announcement in the newspaper:
- "I am looking for a job, I know vord and XL"

[ + 16 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39369
 25.11.2010
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! to
WOW: What happened again? I am already preparing!
No, maybe I have something wrong in my life!! Would it happen???! to
Wow, tell me now.
xxx: evening.les. we sit with him in the car, sex naturally. asked mynetic.Well, I do what, please.After: you are smart, I did not expect, you are fine.Oh.I dress slowly. I’m going to start reading this autumn!! Listen to!! After a minute!! Poetry is fucking!! to

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №39368
 25.11.2010
The most popular exchanges of phrases in our room are:

Where is the tea?
Oh the tea! (I went to the kitchen)

How is the potato?
Oh sweet potatoes!

There the check is going.
What a shit, a check!

Do you have a weekend today?
A couple of couples!

You have half a life "been fucking" =)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №39367
 25.11.2010
1: How does the Diploma work?
2: While at the stage of conception.
In other words, are you fucking?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna