to this:
for tankers: one seka is roughly equal to thirty centimeters. Four swords ― the length of the clamorous and other two-handed swords.

This is Uspensky. It was a big troll. In the Three Hills, for example, he had a character with a luxurious reflection in a loop (if anyone is not in the topic, go to the loop and present it in a loop). Uspensky can be re-read for years and decades and still not understand all his jokes.

By the way, thank you for the "four zaka" – I didn’t know, for example. Another joke is caught, Mikhail Glebovich, let’s not joke to you in that world!

I sent my husband out for a walk with the child. The husband got together, took the child and they left. Ten minutes later, my husband calls and says, “Take off my pants.” It turns out, he was going to walk as usual wearing thermal underwear, but this is what the pants did not notice only on the street.

I remember as a child (aged 5-6) watched a documentary - about volcanic eruptions - with my older brother.

My brother decided to explain to me how serious and dangerous this is.

B: If you push your finger into the lava, it will instantly disappear!

I: And the whole hand, after how long will it disappear?

B is immediately.

Since then, and until 9-10 years old, I really wanted to become - a person invisible, well, at least partially.

Fortunately, the lava was not there.

We have a 45 year old photographer in the city. and divorced. He was married twice and twice to the same woman.

They ask him, “How is it? ! to“”

And he tells:

“My ex-wife had two husbands, I and Igor. When I was a student, I married her. Everything went wrong and we broke up with her. She married Igor.

With age we became smarter, and it turned out that a few years later she divorced Igor and we married again.”

He did not say the reason for the second divorce, but added:

“Now she’s married to Igor again, and I’m waiting for my turn.”

Joke or not I don’t understand.

No, explain what the meaning is.

When you have real misery or trouble.
Not a problem in the form of “the boss shouted,” “on the road they were bullied,” “mama didn’t give the pocket,” “the neighbor’s iPhone is cooler,” etc., and the real trouble – when really no one and nothing can help.
In short, if this happens, then you will immediately understand - and what they give, and what the meaning is.
As one good man sang, "when you are going to drown, you will understand why you needed a shore."
And you will run like a cute - and to the church, and to the grandmothers, and to the extrasensors, and to the devils for the sake of even a miserable chance to change something. This is called hope and faith.
These two things are irrational in their essence.
To try to evaluate them from the point of view of household logic or benefits (things purely rational) is to demonstrate your own, gently speaking, stupidity and limitation ;-)

There was a serious illness in a loved one, did not run. Probably because time, strength and resources were very lacking then, and I preferred to spend them on fighting the disease and comforting the patient, rather than on bats with an unclear purpose. By the way, everything was resolved safely without any charlatans. So about stupidity you are, do not judge by yourself.

The problem of the upcoming elections is not just to change the team, but to change it so that no fox has time to go abroad with the kidnapped.

It happened this year in 1992, when I was a student at Baumanka.
We had a thermal villa. I don’t know how old she was, but I think she was 70. She walked slowly, walking, talking quietly. She knew her subject, demanded strict discipline from students, did not let those who were late.
Our lessons on her subject were held late in the evening, in the distant wing of the main corps. Baumanka was empty by evening and many long corridors were turned off for savings purposes. High ceilings, dark walls – right “Hogwards.”
One day, entering the alma mater, they read a hanged necrologue with a photo of Vilyaevskaya. It’s a pity, grandmother, but it’s still the age. Who will teach therapy?

On the evening of the same day, the whole group was waiting in the distant audience for a new teacher.
There was no light in the adjacent corridor, and the wind was blowing huge trees outside the window, throwing away the shadowy shadows. The door to the audience was open. Suddenly in the corridor he heard staring steps. Students revived, jokes about the average age of the pre-educational staff of the department of thermech, comparisons with the general secretaries and even jokes about the ghost of Vilyaevskaya. The steps were steadily approaching and increasingly resembling what we were accustomed to hearing. A tense silence prevailed.

...from a dark hole into the open door of the audience, bowing in the shell, entered... Vilyaevskaya!
Some in the early morning - most in shock. After all, the necrolog with the photo read everyone. Vilyaevskaya looked at our confused faces:
My twin sister died, she worked at the department too.

In Omsk, the court punished a man, who on his "Gazely" free of charge carried the peasants. is logical. In other words, they will start transporting people, repairing roads, building children’s playgrounds. Then they will ask, “What fucking power do we have?”

Anna: I say to Dime: “Dim, pick up water, be a cat.”
He approached the bed, dropped the bottle on the floor, questioningly looked at me and said:"me? andquot;
Green: Here’s an anecdote about the logic of programmers :D

The radiation background exceeded 986 times is not dangerous to health, so the evacuation of the population and the deactivation of the terrain will not be carried out. I ask the population to remain calm and not panic, recorded in his video address to the Urals the governor of the Chelyabinsk region, currently in Cyprus with his family.

Two signs that you are an unrecognized genius:
1st You are a genius.
2nd You are not recognized.

Tagged pencil

>> And you will run like a cute - and to the church, and to the grandmothers, and to the extrasensors, and to the devils for the sake of even a miserable chance to change something. This is called hope and faith.

Well, it is not necessary to spread so on everyone, the sensible people have not yet quite elevated.
This "confidence and faith" is very well used by these very grandmothers-extra-senses-other shamans for personal enrichment purposes. Anger is rare, worse than the ordinary thief.

Manually :
Is there no power over you?

wherecat is:
I need the power of Lord Worc.
Shrinking and Shrinking (

Martini 1,0 - 800 rubles, Martini 1,5 - 1600 rubles!
Children, do you still not understand why you should be able to count, and preferably in your mind?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! to

How easy and simple to get the team out of the working mood in the morning, before the deadline.
Simply put one word in the cor.chat:
is enough. Nash (our) program -//////-////
Replicas begin to appear in the chat
and no!
and no!
I am a programmer!
I am a cat!
and no!
and no!
Meu to me!
Here's the boss in the chat
Stop the crap! If you don’t work, I’ll take your tents off!
The girl!
The girl!

On the job, we have a familiar Belarusian and he came to visit us, exchange experiences, etc.

One day in between we asked him about jokes about potatoes and Belarusians. They do, and they use and keep potatoes everywhere. He replied that it was nonsense, took a potato out of his pocket and threw the dog running by.

Then he admitted that he had cooked this joke all the way and had been walking with potatoes in his pocket for two days.

Users of social networks have discovered a new capability that has the smartphone iPhone X.

According to the owner, he looked at the phone when the alarm sounded. The man did not press the button, but managed to influence Device with his gaze.

Experts said that this behavior was caused by the Face ID sensor.

Dreams come true – a wicked look at the alarm clock, and it will shut down.

The Foreign Window

My grandmother once told me that our neighbor climbed the fence to look out the third window. He fell down and broke his leg. Why did she go, she said. And it is unlikely that she had four or five children, not all adults at the time. You may be surprised to see the man on the first floor.

Giving the Heart
The algorithm of medical ethics. If you can help everyone and the condition of everyone is equally difficult, then the first is the help of the youngest. Not in the sense of "children are our future", but in the sense of "who is less likely to kick off the bowls during the operation and will be able to exploit the heart for longer."
This factor alone is enough. To decide who will bring the most benefit to society is to guess on the coffee thicker. The priest may be a pedophile, the cancer medicine will be toxic and ineffective, the mother of three children will bring all three to psychic. On the contrary, a 95-year-old grandmother can save the whole house from terrorists by making a claim on suspicious people, down can be a carrier of a rare blood group and donate it for the rest of her life, the singer can hit the charity and sponsor a child (or three). The hell knows how life turns.

I wildly like the style of description in the book of Lucius the Eternal
At first, it is written on 2.5 pages as chaos strikes with a sword.
There are actually more than two pages describing one blow.
All the flashes on the sword, what is reflected, all the movements, this is all-all-all to show how unstoppable it is.
And then one sentence "But his opponent was not there"