The first programming language:
XXX: I disagree with the author.
The first language to learn is C/C++.
YYY: As a person who not only writes in C++, but also, oh horror, loves it (like Java), I would say that starting to learn programming with C++ is the most sure way to get away from it forever.

xx: what about getting drunk in a cocktail and removing a girl without complexes?
XY: Emmy
X: Oh, Natasha, I am here to conduct a survey
xy: you know, I agree

The Oborvans

Esau, Esau, what are you bro?

Probably meant this:
M: Will you go out for me?
I don’t know, but how much do you earn?
M: Ten thousand of them!
I only have that amount on toilet paper.
M: You know, I thought, I’ve gotten such a shit?

From the Facebook tape:

So what do you know about high technology and healthy self-esteem?
Today in the church, a guy tried to pay for a candle with a card.
A, hearing the offer to walk to the nearest ATM, confidently replied: "On the turn in Sberbank I did not sin".

The Exposure
"When I die, I will..."
T.G. Shevchenko

- We changed the homephone and gave a certain number of keys from it. At the time of issue, was absent ((( neighbors do not give the key to the duplicate to do((( where do I apply for my kit???????)! to
Break the homeopath. When they change again, stay home.

who complains that the 5-digit bus numbers are not happy, just have no consideration, because there you just fold the first 2 digits and the last if they coincide with the third digit in the middle, then the ticket is happy and it can be eaten! and ;)

xxx: If you want the norms of liquidity on thickness meters - call me on my mobile.
I have a dog on them, yes!)
Started with the device for determining the thickness of the mushroom in pigs, we had such a few in the fitness clubs :-)

Antoha: 10-12 years ago we had a case in the town:
In the winter, hanging jeans after washing, not pressing the water. After some time, when the water in them turned into ice, the plugs did not stand and the jeans fell from the 4th floor on the head of some miser, passing under the house.
He survived, but the shock worked out.

My friend hardly misses the universe.R-leader, C - the senior of the group.
R: Where is she?! to
C: I don’t know, I called in the morning, she didn’t take the phone!
R is a nightmare. So much debt and loans! If she is still alive...
A: I will kill her.

xxx: in one toy - Settlers 2 - there was such a function "Release a Geologist"
In fact, you’re just telling your bearded uncle to look for water, coal, gold and iron ore.
But I still have this picture in my head: on the base of the Romans is a iron cell, in it is a wild bearded man - a geologist. He is released, and he begins to fuck the mountain with a wild raven "CAAMNIA!". Then he is caught, locked in the same cage and healed by uncle’s bites.

“Yes, I’m gay, but I’m full of money.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
by Ophigete! Everyone, of course, guessed, but in our time, this is how to openly admit that you have a lot of money - it is very bold.

Questions Answer

> I will not argue for the benefit, but why is it coffee? Coffee in the same coffee?

Because it was so called as crab sticks, in the production of which no crab was hurt. In addition, in some varieties for the smell pour a little natural coffee.

"The Social Network has disrupted the news about the homosexuality of Cristiano Ronaldo".

But he is a cool player, does not shame his team, does not upset fans.

Not a pudding, but a short"

I am tired of spending 45 hours a week at work and another 10 hours on the road and 5 hours paying for it. 56 hours of sleep. As a result, a week of 168 hours of which (45 + 10 + 5 + 56) = 116 goes to sleep and work. There are 52 hours left. And how about myself? Do you need to clean, wash, cook, wash dishes and how much is left to live? And this real life involves a couple of hours of phone calls and a couple of series a day.
It turns out that it is better to be a domestic cat and lick your ass, but everything else is not good.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
The cat looks at me as if I owe him something.
WOW :
I think he usually looks with such a look as if he woke up and found that there were people in his apartment.
WOW :
They try to understand what they are doing here. Are they not dangerous?
WOW :
And if they don’t think they can’t make any profit from them.

From discussion of marketing moves:
...For me, I can’t break the barrage of the Zoo of Minnesota and Indiana. Every 100 meters there are machines that give 25 cents of 50 grams of carrot to feed the animals. It is half trouble. Through every other 100 meters there are transparent round domes, into which you launch 25 cents from the top through the cracks - and the coin rotates 20-30 seconds along the path with bridges, tunnels, collars, like in a pinball, spiral down, between toy houses, animals, humans, etc. Then she fails in the machine, that’s all. Around each dome at any time stands up to 20 meditating children and adults. A simple calculation is about $ 700. in the day. of one dome. from the air.

Tired of illiterate idiots.

(..blabla...) When you stop writing "wattsap". WhatsApp - then in Russian will be "watsoop".

If before the pronouncement of... dig, then it is watsapp (from application, where you can "o" take)
But! Since the name of the app is a game of words (what's up - watts app - well, how, how to do), then this is more than acceptable.

The importance of prison tattoos.
The comments:
Question: Does anyone know what the grape grape on the forearm means?
A Moldovan alcoholic. It is :)