When Jonathan Swift signs "The Snooker" – this is called "a pseudonym".
When the dressmaker signs "Jonathan Swift" it’s self-calling.

xxx:...today instead of "full bags of hands" I wanted to say "full bags of hands", but stopped in time and immediately wanted to recover... as a result, "full bags of suck" came out;

Once I slept at home in the middle of the day on the couch in the hall. I wake up - it is dark and silent, the time of the day is not clear at all. Being in a light space, I hear from the bedroom a disgusting whispering voice: “I want to eat!” Hardly making bricks, I remember that this Chinese-speaking doll of my sister began to swallow and communicate with herself.

- I bought today in Shchelkovo liver shrimp for 92.90. Opened, and there are fish tables.
My friends bought a red caviar instead of mackerel. They ran back to the store, picked up more mackerels, about half were with caviar)

Den Stranger: The daughter is watching Fixikov, my wife and I are sitting next to each other. At some point, the wife can't stand and gives:
“I seem to be beginning to understand why our military equipment is being attacked by the Quavalda. Because such a blow immediately awakened a drunk fixic and he was going to fix another malfunction.

<><><>> <> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>> He was discovered by a Negro, the best guitarist was an Indian, and the best vocalist was a Persian.

Dr. House: "This is how I am a fool"
Patient: "What are you, you are very kind!"
Doctor House: "I don’t see any contradictions"

The gender chauvinist:

Today you buy Apple, and tomorrow you walk with the boy.

Well, I’m walking with a boy, and what’s unusual here? I would also buy Apple, and I need to subvert a little - it hurts a large company.

Never before has Stirlitz been so close to failure.
YYY :?? to
xxx: I wanted to compliment a nice Canadian Tire cashier...to tell her that she looks like a famous actress. He stopped on time.
YYY: What is it?
XXX: It would be nothing, but she looks like Sasha Grey.

The most important thing in life is not to give up.
I would love to surrender to someone.
With pleasure, it’s another matter.

Comments on Articles about the Defenders:
Cat Behemot: This is what creature you need to be to throw out retirees.
Lohha local: Ask our officials from top to bottom! ))))

Husband and wife on social media.

If I had no children, my house would be clean and my wallet would be full. But my heart would be empty.
If I had no children, my house would be clean and my wallet would be full.
You forgot to copy the last sentence.
M: No, I have not forgotten.

(postmodernist dialogue about birth, about hamster and about elections)

Brad, throw it in, it just can’t be.

I’ve seen so much in my life that I can even believe it.

WOUL: Because you are writing fiction and you think: "To add a flying toilet to the text? Oh well shit. What’s the point?" You get up from behind the compass, you approach the window... And behind the glass the "Fayans throne" flies.

X: I believe you will be able to blow up the untouchable!
Y: As you know, in order to infuse the uninflatable, you must first inflate the inflatable... And we don’t have money.

XXX: Call then and then immediately
Then, later or immediately?
When it comes later, call immediately.
YYYYYYYYYYY

As previously said about the knowledge of foreign language - "I translate with a dictionary", so now many people can confidently say: "I know, but with Google".

You don’t wear the same costume every day at work.

When I went to school, I was wearing the same dress for a year. Washing on the weekend. Even on the tree he wore it - simply decorated the podol with a myshura and supplemented it with buses. Not before the choice of dresses was, and in jeans can not the teacher.

The Eternal Theme. Now around the center are the types offering to buy old coins, like there is no money and are ready to give for cheap. I have faced twice.
Un-moment: Unfortunately, my elderly relatives on these coins "rarity" got caught. I then grabbed my head – why couldn’t I call and ask? These allegedly ancient coins are actually a new piece of brass made in China. Their real price is from the strength of 10 rubles, and confident people put out tens of thousands.
One-moment: A month ago, a quintet came to me, took the alleged Nikolaevsky ruble from my pocket and asked if I didn’t know how much I could get in an antique for such a coin. I replied that it can be obtained for it only in the rilo and not necessarily from the antique. Kent disappeared at a praiseful speed.

Yesterday I went to the euro network, wasted time and looked at my mobile phones. I am standing at the window, a sales consultant suits:

Are you looking for something specific?

No, yes, I look at it.

- Okay, let me then just stand next to you so I don't get fired, or there's a surveillance camera.

They stood, ran, the seller told about discounts. Hopefully not fired.

Xxx: take a picture of me in the studio? under the tree. How I Shake the Gifts
Do you mean jumping naked? Go to.