bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №73277
 22.11.2012
xxh: Still it was cruel - to show him "Sinister", and then to restore the film on the disk four times through the remote when he was trying to delete it))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73276
 22.11.2012
Previously, people in very emotional moments liked to use the word "Remove!".
But it was too long for such moments and was shortened to a simple interdomain "OH!". The interdomention "Ah!" also appeared, but there was another word.

[ + 22 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73275
 22.11.2012
The teacher teaches what he knows; the teacher teaches what is prescribed by the Ministry of Education.

[ + 59 - ] [25 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73274
 22.11.2012
The servant told me.
Read a story to the child:
It is written on the stone, "You go to the left - you will lose the horse and you will be happy. Go to the right - you will die, and the horse will be happy you will go straight - you will both be whole, but unhappy" asks the child - where would you go? Only the unspoiled childhood thought could give rise to such a natural response. The horse is sorry, let it live. I would leave the horse at the stone, and I would go to the left.
How do you explain to a child why in a fairy tale this shit went to the left with a horse?

Bahruz

[ + 118 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73273
 22.11.2012
As my grandmother once said, it’s better to shoot, recharge and shoot again than to light a light and ask, “Who’s here?”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73272
 22.11.2012
I had a headache this morning.
because yesterday I decided to serve myself with a spilly Cuban "shardone"
Gone to Zizou

xxx: and, boiled with the juice of grapes, crushed by the feet of the Cuban virgins, invited the lazy to go with me to the Prague.

You know, she agreed.

Not surprisingly

I think I’ll do it now.

xxx: here's how to explain to a person that he in a month 25, and he has not yet understood that the crawl leads to a fallout, and did not understand the main rule "drink - turn off the internet"


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73271
 22.11.2012
Why did I love the rain? I didn’t have a telescope.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73270
 22.11.2012
Vitaliy70: I sometimes think fortunate that the crucifixion could have been hanged or not brought to the chariot to plant would not be crucifixion and the hell knows what...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №73269
 22.11.2012
Good for the Kazakhs - they have two space exits - Baikonur and Chui Valley!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73268
 22.11.2012
From the discussion of the Curiosity discovery on the Habrah:
The Internet spreads rumors about the upcoming "big news" from NASA rover Curiosity, but the space agency continues to keep silence about the details.

X: I dump a package of Belomora, 2 bottles from under the “Stoolish”, and a little further away – fragments of the newspaper “Pravda”, which cover some organic substance.
V: Broken cabbage and pot with petunia?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №73267
 22.11.2012
The end of the world (
Well, until the end of the week and it’s fine.)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73266
 22.11.2012
He reached the point that when reading the list of U.S. universities, he tried to read Oxford as a sixteen-digit number.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №73265
 21.11.2012
Talk of programmers.
Sergey: In general, besides that everything is wrong, I don’t see other mistakes...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73264
 21.11.2012
Olya: For what I love free municipal clinics, so for cheap services.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №73263
 21.11.2012
About mutual understanding:
Admin in the general chat:
We can’t change the hoops, right?
The Secretary:
Oh, leave what nature has rewarded :")

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №73262
 21.11.2012
I read in the news: "A deer drove a man into the trunk of a car and took his cigarettes". What do these journalists smoke?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73261
 21.11.2012
XX: I realized that I am reminded of the raised trees in November. It’s as if the bride, a month and a half before the wedding, was everywhere in a white dress and fat. Br...

[ + 58 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73260
 21.11.2012
Early morning. The Sunday. 7 in the morning.
I sleep, I do not touch anyone.
DDRDRDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! to
I jump: Good Morning Mazafaka!Even the perforator screamed.
DDDDDDRRRR stops and behind the wall such a sad voice: I am what? My wife forced...

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73259
 21.11.2012
When I first saw the interview with Kurayev, I laughed. Now my children are learning from his textbooks. I am not laughing.

[ + 78 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73258
 21.11.2012
I go in the bus (guard), the conductor asks to transfer money for the ride from the back yard. In the middle stands a woman of large size and on all attempts to transfer money through her, she thinks that it would be transmitted through those who sit, and she was not touched. On the front seat sits a 4-year-old boy with his mother, observes the whole situation very closely for five stops and says pretty loudly:
“Mommy, is my aunt so bad because she’s fat?”
The bus begins to rust quietly, the mother is embarrassed, the woman becomes red... in a few seconds:
“Mommy, is she fat because she’s lazy to move her ass again?”
Even the driver of the bus.)
The woman red like cancer jumped out at the first stop.)

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