From Habr:
What has pornography done you? When I was 11 years old, I didn’t do anything bad. He still rejoices.

Shprd100: Can I ask you one question?
Fusekey: You can, and you just put it in.
Shprd100: fuck, can you two?
Fusekey: This was the second ><

White House denies having links to UFO

Bill Clinton also initially denied contact with Monica

When a girl thinks what to give her boyfriend for her birthday, she always has one very nice, and completely free gift in stock.

The four-dimensional ass is a multitude of three-dimensional asses wrapped into each other in such a way that for beings with a three-dimensional perception of the world (such as Homo Sapiens), it is always turned with a hole toward the viewer, no matter from which side you look.
Compared to such a ass, the usual ass is just a small trouble :-)))

XXX: I can’t fuck it.
YYY: what is it
XX: Do you know the silver?
WOW: well
xxx: they decided yesterday with ninja to play a role-playing game, like she - linux, and he is a user
XHH: These dudes compiled the kernel all night, because ninja became curious about what Linux is.

Checked, if the girl standing on your back screams "Hey, beautiful!" turn absolutely ALL the girls.

The males of some breeds of monkeys measure their members in order to prove to the competitor who is the coolest. Do you still believe in Darwin’s theory?

My grandmother burned yesterday. I came home in the morning from a friend and asked her to wake me up at 2 a.m. I wake up at 4 o’clock.
I: Grandma, why didn’t you wake up?
A guy called you. I said you are sleeping. I asked to wake you up or not. He replied that it was not necessary. I did not wake up.
I never found anything to say to her after that.

Slayer: There was no meaningful post from Vanson in the section
B_A_H_C_O_H: What about the post where I called you a deer?

I had a culture lecture today. The teacher explained the benefits of same-sex marriages. What my neighbor’s fellow fellowship caught me.

Den
It’s hard, almost impossible, to notice the moment when the sun finally rises, the flower rises, and when you stop smiling from a new monitor every dust and leave drops of fat and fingers dry in dust.

A good start to the day is when you wake up in the afternoon :)

XXX: Yes, she herself is still nothing, but here her husband is a sucking demon!
YYY: Oh...
Oh oh, the letter is too much.
Okay, that’s even more interesting =)

I really wanted chocolate, I watched my dad go to the store.
I:Father, buy me "Alanka"
No, I will not go to Leningrad.

I got the red agenda.
I’ll be arrested if I don’t come.)
Tell me I am gay.
I don’t think you’re gay XD

If the wonders of the falling stars were really fulfilled, at least in a small portion of men, Angelina Jolie's sexual life would be exceptionally varied and planned for many years ahead of old age.

Wherever my pineapple is, it will eat you.
YYY: I will only speak in the presence of my avocado
ZZZ: Unquestionable threats against you.

In the chat:
Robot: Hello to everyone!
The naive girl: Hi Robot! I wanted to have sex with a robot. Can you throw a couple of sticks? and ;)
I am a spam robot. I can put a couple of references.

At what time are you going to get married?
yyy:  Not earlier than 25 years old.
XXX: How old are you?
YYY: I am 20.
I will always be 20!