Hangman
Nirvana doesn’t work, what a shit.
Romond
Welcome to the mysterious and beautiful world of programming.

Call from the accounting office:
— Maxim Grigoryevich, and you have not recently won a case with the company "HrenHuyStroj"?
I won, it was a matter.
We received the money by court decision. Two hundred and fifty thousand rubles. With pennies.
I am a good lawyer and I win cases.
Yes, it is okay. But they owe us only eighteen thousand rubles. And what do we do with the other two hundred and thirty? Maxime, I think you’ve overtaken this time.

The Prehistory:
My car after a small accident flew the sprayer on the headlights, now as a result, if you press the sprayer button - then the water will spray not a cool stream forward.
The story itself:
I was driving from school evil, and still in front of me on the crossing, when I was burning green, and he was red - a pedestrian came out. while he was all biking, slowly moved forward and pressed the spray... I think now he will not be so soon to get the drivers...
P.S I missed the pedestrians =)

ShpurloS: It is already known that the government plans to create a mail server for government needs in the new domain area. Analysts believe that creating its own mail server could cost the budget up to $20 million.
ShpurloS: sudo aptitude install postfix postfix-mysql mysql-server postfix-tls libsasl2-2 libsasl2-modules libsasl2-modules-sql sasl2-bin libpam-mysql openssl
ShpurloS: Where can I collect my 20 million?! to

Today I found a page in the contact of Captain Evidence. Curiously, a password is not a password. A complicated password is recommended. So I wrote a difficult password and entered.)

Dear Russian Government. for 20 million. The dollar. I personally can create a data center for you, whose production capacity will be sufficient to process and model the data obtained in Baku, there will still be money for a mail server for all residents of Mother Russia.

p.s
Citizens, the king does not know this, you have to help him.

Conversation between the two pianists:
1: - here is the name of you German, all normal people learn English, and you kill yourself... I don't understand
Fuck, you’ve gotten everything to touch me. I want to play Beethoven in the original!! to

Answer to:
Explain me how right: O_o or O_o?

Depends on the situation. If the shock went immediately (for example, someone jumped out of the corner), then first a large "O" is written, and then a small one.
If the situation at first glance seems normal and only when thinking there is a surprise, then the first "o" - small.

Posting in contact; guy xxx in the army

I've been here for a long time and noticed his beautiful green shape!))) It’s not a masquerade ?

XXX is not masquerade. it is completely imperceptible against the background of the same dwarfs ><

Friends with honey:
Today, the practice was broken with laughter! Under a microscope, each of us looked at his own saliva.
Suddenly the voice of Yulia:"There is something moving!"
Everyone is silent, the professor approaches, looks into the microscope, and, relentlessly says: “This is definitely a living sperm.” I think Yulia would rather die ;)

It is worth taking a nick, for example, vovan1982, so that most think they know your name and age.
Anna, 21 years old

I am a PHP programmer. I sit and write tonight.
Wife: What do I think you don’t work there and you’re trembling with someone?
I: What is it for?
Wife: The keys knock too often, you don’t burst anything under your nose, you don’t periodically mate.
I am O_O

And for us in the universe, the prede on the board painted a four-dimensional space. At the same time, everything turned out to be very clear and understandable... Now I begin to understand where I got...

XXX: How are you and Anton? I would kill!
Oh what is it? - Invited guests, asked "to buy in the pharmacy something for tea"...guess what he did?
Amy, are there any options? and :)
He is a hematogen!! to
YYY: I do not understand *DONT_KNOW*
She sent him to the pharmacy to buy something for tea.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Do you want to buy a hematogen too???:D
No, I would buy tea.
xxx: - * rofl *
We even sell discs in pharmacies.
xxx: I have gone.

The crisis of self-realization is when you are offered to put your next idea in your ass. And you can’t do it anymore, because you already have an entire patent office there, and nothing else can fit in.

XXX: Rise up
But not awakened.
I’ll go for a coffee, maybe...
yyy: if you take half a bowl of coffee, pour it into a large bowl, pour it into boiling water, and then drink it all in a row, then from the dose of caffeine you will not only be happy, but you will wake up and want to work.
XXX is a lie
I do not want :)
yyy: and that’s why lazy people turn their nose before coffee, which is called soluble coffee.
They would only have a barista, on the sand and only in the Turkish, so that a beautiful Gypsies sing something under the guitar.
Then, he said, it is coffee. But there is no such coffee, and that is why the lazy people are crazy until lunch.

After several years of reading BOR, I have so mature questions... to the grandmothers... that is, to the women. Or maybe I've lived in the world for 30 years and all, fool, I don't understand something?
A) the Why not give it to your husband/girlfriend? Is it bad when he sticks to you because he wants something? I thought, should I be happy that he can... or is the process not pleasant? And if he is not pleased with him, then fucking get married?
and b) Beer is delicious! I and all my friends love it. Why is it bad for a man to drink beer? And that, with him not to drink together - from women expelled?! to
Why should a man be angry when he is watching porn? It seems to be the opposite good if he is in the process of learning? You can then demand a visual demonstration of what you have learned... let it apply the knowledge in practice!
In general, I think I missed something in female education... Enlighten the dark fool! Sorry for the UG!

My mom has burned! I sit in the room and she says:
Son, will you eat?
Oh yes mom!
Go to prepare!
O_O

Please don’t write any more of that!!! to
I got the charge, and it really was ebony o_o

XXX is
How would you like to celebrate Day of Tolerance?
YYYY
Lying on the Kuznetsov applicator)))
On the Day of Tolerance, the best celebration is to be patient.
YYYY
You can put a naked person next to you.
YYYY
Lie down and be patient ?
XXX is
Oh, and I want to... xD