I sit in the inette at night, Dad comes with a confused look:
"I am Figeu, there was no one at home - the controller from the calf disappeared - and the cat is nowhere.
The thieves came and took the most precious thing – the controller and the cat.

xxx [8:28]: yesterday the wife at the meeting went to school-there read a note about the refusal of vaccinations of this content: Please do not give my son a large dose, he has me alone

The xxx:
I dreamed today that the alarm clock is ringing and I do not pay attention, it is not yours... but it turns out to be real my alarm clock was and I slept.

My mother and I went to the market to buy meat and fish. I remained to smoke. I go into the room and look for her.
Something stopped by the counter with meat, looked around. The seller comes and asks:
Q: Are you looking for something?
I honestly answer her.
Oh yes, mom...
I will never forget that expression of the face.

At the request of the government to improve interaction with sedentary groups of the population (disabled persons), a call button was installed. After 2 weeks we were fined, for the failure of the project to this button, lack of conclusion
expert on the need to install a button, for the absence of the conclusion of the design office on the impossibility of installing a panda, for the absence of a barrel over this button, for the absence of agreements with the regulatory authorities on the installation of this button!

I adore my colleagues. The secretary, going out to smoke, locks the director in the office at the key. I may not escape)

Before I was born, I thought the worst thing I could lose was a laptop!

On the website of the online store:

The game set "The Sheep Family" consists of four
plush figures of fun whites: moms, dads, daughters and
The son.

Anita 12:00 - the second day I try to call the secretary on the office mobile. I looked at the phone number on my business card. Recruiting is busy. SMS comes, the subscriber speaks. After a minute, the SMS arrives and the subscriber stops the conversation. I call right away, I am busy. I get the SMS again... again... And so yesterday 6 times... and today 4 times. I think, well, the secretary talks all the time, even the evil took. I called her personally, asking that there is so much work, I can't call. She is silent all morning. I am in shock, how. I call the second day. Give the number. Not that one. He asks. Where got it? I'm on my visit card. pause in the air. I'm fucking... this is my number. I call myself on the second day and I can't talk.
The color of hair is justified. The cockroaches in the head applaud standing!

XXX is
I don’t like champagne because of its craziness. It hurts quickly in the brain.
XXX is
Especially when it comes with vodka.

Sometimes I was alarmed by an enthusiastic review about contraceptive pills with an attribute in the commentator's profile "Anfise for 3 years 3 months. 2 months 2 days ago"

A friend is working in the police.They and their partner go into a bombardment. My son and father are sleeping there. Both are out of prison. The dog is healthy in bed. On the table of the crown squeezes some conserve. And their partner tries to wake them up with the words -"Hey you stalkers, get up!!!!!! )))))

My daughter, when she was 4 years old, once spotted me with people like this:
I do shopping in the store, a lot of people, the room is not very large... suddenly the package breaks...
I am (indignantly)
What is it called??????? to
Girl (happy and loud)
and the c!!!! to
He thinks and adds.
Well or how... I don’t know all your adult words yet.

There was silence in the store for a few moments, and then everything was like a whirlwind.

The news:
Japan intends to thoroughly discuss with Russia territorial issue
The commentary:
So let’s discuss with the Japanese the division of Hokkaido. I was convinced, fucking.)

A year ago, I picked up a cat feeding a dog. Now there is a mutant living in my house who wears shoes, bites his legs, makes sounds "рке-рке" and cheers with his tail ring.

News: Former porn actress Sasha Gray, who announced her departure from the adult industry a few months ago, took part in a charity project Read Across America, in which stars read books out loud to first-class students. The initiative of Sasha Gray outraged the parents of schoolchildren.
The teacher killed my first...

Q: Is it happening in the world?
y: "Nokia wrapped the screen around the smartphone"
X: It sounds like an eye on the ass stretched.

xxh: I approach Oleg and say with a mysterious voice: "In the weekend it must be healthy and strong," and he: "I won't bear a coward." Do you know how damn it is?

My brother was in a hop-stop yesterday. In the evening, dark, one comes in front of two from behind, as usual begins a stupid divorce, but the brother is not in the first, beats the first in the tower and on the debris, behind the runway hears a scream.
What if the goats smell...

I am standing at the crossroads, watching a man walking and asking for something from everyone. Here he fits me. I think about sending him a message until he starts saying:
The Senator! Help the veterans of the fight against alcohol!
After I laughed for half a minute and gave him all the little things.