Russian car company.
I remembered how I repaired my first foreign mark.
My new Korean unit began to give strange knocks while driving, which caused me to worry. An obvious reason for a visit to the company service. In the service, careful mechanics in clean firm combinations, which was very pleasant after strange personalities in the VAZ service, quickly found a reason. The rear amortizers - summarized by the master, we change according to the guarantee. have changed. But the knock did not disappear. have thought. Gathered a consilium. I was driving a long time, listening. Changed something else. It seemed even worse. Some mechanic was shouting - well, this shit is knocking, look. Changed the shit. The Untold. Everything is free, with a guarantee. The guarantee master, indeed, after each replacement darkened his face. It was six o’clock, I began to lose hope and patience when after another replacement something was brought to Uncle Vasya.
Uncle Vasya was strikingly different from other employees of the service. He was dressed in the same shirt as the others, but it was obvious that he was eating, working, taking a bath, sleeping, and obviously wherever he could, but mostly drinking. Uncle Vasya was deadly drunk, and from his upper lip hanged a dried dough.
The car seats were covered with a film, Vasu was placed inside and driven. Not sinking, said Uncle Vasya, going out and trying to fall asleep standing, does not affect the speed. However, his colleagues did not allow him to rest. Then Uncle Vasya took the key and put it under the hood. To the timid attempts of the others to say that he was knocking from behind, he responded scrupulously, heavily, four-story. Three minutes from underneath the cap were heard knock-outs, bumping, cries. Then with the words, “Well, fuck,” Uncle Vasya dropped the key and turned off finally.
Guided by the apologizing eyes of all the service staff, I sat in the car and made an honorary circle around the courtyard.
The knock stopped.

Sergeant Petrenko You are not sober!
- Why am I not sober, here is the pharmacy, here is the passport, here is the belt
and security.
Are you going to argue with Sergeant Gai? You are not sober.
Let us understand. Is there a pharmacy? Is there a passport? Is there a belt?
There is even a towel. Why am I not sober?! to
Where is the car?

From a real sociological survey:

Question: "What anti-corruption measures do you find most effective?"
The answer is: the paddle.

I asked an acquaintance in Azka:
Throw out the logically unnecessary word - vodka, beer, babies, sache
Well, yes, he threw out the sachet, and I told him the right babies because all the rest are alcoholic drinks. In response, he wrote that I am a pidor and removed me from the contact list, how can I rehabilitate before him?? to

How we celebrated Halloween. Natasha, ambulance officer
zig_zag (10:26:12 15/11/2009)
This Natasha went to the challenge at night! The thing was so, there was a repair in the apartment and painted the walls and something else was done, in short, all the ugliness, solvents there, something more smart builders guessed only to wash it in the toilet! The owner, a real Russian man, went to the toilet with a newspaper and a cigarette, sat down on the toilet, struck the lighthouse and threw it into the toilet, there was an explosion! Natasha arrives, and observes such a picture, a whale lies on his stomach, his pocket is lubricated with vegetable oil and a cut potato is applied (at burns they put a potato, but you can’t lubricate anything) she sees it and didn’t hold on asked them:- Did you even turn the potato? It will burn.
zig_zag (10:28:28 15/11/2009)
When they were driving back, they took the patient, she told the driver, he in a hysterical laugh went to the cabin.

A grandmother, 80 years old, is sitting watching a telecar - some field, a tractor... suddenly begins to rust. I am her: what are you? She: He was fucking me! Who is? My first love!
And he begins to tell the story: when I was a naive girl, I fell in love with the guy Kolka Zavyalova, and one day I came to him on a seamless, and he is a tractorist. We are talking to him, suddenly I see the HTZ stamp on the tractor, I ask that it means, and he seriously me so: Hut Traktorist Zavialov...I, he says, I remember walking proudly, my beloved, though Hut Traktorist, but on the tractor engraved))and I forgot about this at all, and I look at the story about HTZ, I immediately remember)) turned out to be Kharkov Traktor Plant!! to
This is how youth breaks down in old age.

Do you still think that time always runs smoothly? Tell this to the person at the last working hour on Friday before vacation. =) is

Shef (11:02:21 13/11/2009)
I read Medvedev’s message.

Shef (11:02:23 13/11/2009)
In Russia will be created a nuclear engine, with the help of which you can fly, including to other planets.

Shef (11:03:07 13/11/2009)
What further measures to improve the Russian economy he will propose

From today’s game depends whether the Russian national team will go to the World Cup or whether Slovenia will remain without gas.

We do not graze or sow,
We make a fool,
With the bell clock,
Destroying the clouds.

Y. Luzhkov "On the displacement of snow clouds over Moscow"

Fuck the Indians. My calendar closes once a year. As if we live.

By the way, if the child squeezed his eyebrows with a little sauce, it is not necessary to roast and say "shake them." Not a family, but horses.

Announcement to the pharmacy "There are no masks! Go on your own!" O_O

Hippo: I just arrived.
The wedding should be planned like this.
Hippo: so that the bride does not have critical days

XXX: I’ll probably never forget or confuse the smell of a dandy console just unpacked.

and fucking. A neighbor came to see my grandmother.
They drink tea in the kitchen, there the tribe rotates, there the washing machine.
Neighbor: Nikita, don’t stand next to the washing machine.
Nikita: Why is it?
Because it is a car! Who knows what is in her mind?! to

X (13:05:52 13/11/2009)
I call my husband on Friday to congratulate him on Friday the thirteenth, and he says that he is giving the object and the name of the host of the seed, in general, I shut up the scroll and wish me good luck.

She: It all worked.
She: sex to you for help)))
She is: Senks!! to

I only say goodbye to those who did not ask me to pump porn.

xxx: I sit, I listen to the DDT "Captain Kolesnikov". I cry.
The neighbor came into the room.
He said that men do not cry.
XHH: put him "Captain Kolesnikov"
There are two men sitting. are crying