bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120676
 17.11.2015
A video of cats on the live broadcast of the G20 summit:

Bradabar: Chat, somehow few representatives came to the summit... Or didn’t everyone light up on the camera?

Poskudnik: these are real shadow leaders, not these straight marionettes, they are by definition not many

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120675
 17.11.2015
To this: "In general, we washed out our suitcase, pulled our own one. And we all now happen to the old one, even if it was outwardly nice!"

Do you believe, not only with employees, but with some bosses the same shit? You think it can’t be worse! Annie, no, a new one is coming, and you know - how can!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №120674
 17.11.2015
XXX: Mom bodybuilder sad sometimes
I pushed hard on my cheek today.
It hurts (
She did not count the strength.
The skin, not the bones.
YYY: Training your cheeks :D
XXX:Train your cheeks - hammer more))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120673
 17.11.2015
I am touched by the look of German policemen. It seems to me that here in Germany they really serve the public order. A conversation with a German police officer — which I engage in at every opportunity — can be seen as a form of cultural engagement.
Russian rules of communication with the police officer are as follows: answer all questions briefly and correctly, reduce contact to a minimum, never start the first conversation.
One of my German friends came up with a paradoxical formula:
Moscow is safer than Paris or New York.
Police are really dangerous here.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120672
 17.11.2015
I lost my suit at the mail.
p: the Russian Post has its plans for your cosplay :_:

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120671
 17.11.2015
Get rid of the moderator!

"Consumption as a Disease"
"That’s what I’ve been asking for for a week and a half..."
"At the same time, such purchases occur several times a week."

It’s in one story and not all cakes. None of the robbers gave up. And the gap before the point, his mother!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120670
 17.11.2015
Previous: Resident of Khakasiya fined for T-shirt with cannabis image

and Mordvin.The image of hemp can be seen on the coat of arms of the village of Epifani, as well as on the coat of arms and flag of the Kimov district of the Tula region.
Question: How interestingly did experts establish the drug content in the painted plant?
They smoked a maid!!? to
I: Yvonne, and the song "Red Maki" May 9 can be sung / listened to?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120669
 17.11.2015
XHH: All, I refuse to go on advertising links )))
Has the Trojan caught? :Z
XHH: Brain rupture caught
xxx: went to the reference "buy cookies with delivery", see, why the fucking unknown, because the first associations were with the Ku Klux Klan, and the last too
xxx: I go, and from the first page COOKIES look at me... "Italian MANDOROLA"
Do you know the Italian Mandorola?
Well, it’s something on the rolls, right? and ;))
This is the liver! And you know... I’ve somehow changed my mind to go to the side of evil. Do they also have a mango instead of a mango? (>_<)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120668
 17.11.2015
“Nothing in it gave Linux, don’t think he walked with a beard and a sweater. He usually appeared in pants and shirts.
Under the shirt is a sweater.
Under the brown pants.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120667
 17.11.2015
XXX: You are a border
HH: in the DR
We are also quotes.
yyy: borst - it's interesting) I wanted to make you a cake)
xxx: fuck the cake
Tags: cake for pedicure

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120666
 16.11.2015
Funnel and nuts are best crushed in a garlic cooker. Do not thank.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120665
 16.11.2015
We drive with a friend from Poland, he is driving, tortured, tired. I try to fall asleep, but I can’t, I say something to him, he’s silent. He asked again, he was silent. The third time is this: do not sleep yourself and do not interfere with others.
Sleep as a hand. Fuck you fucking!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120664
 16.11.2015
Comment on the news "the search in the App Store has worked in a new way":

The Capricorn:
And with the next update, Siri will say, “Listen, this app has a low rating, try it better, this is a similar app from competitors.”
And after one update we get an even smarter Siri, it will tell you, "I noticed that this app often flies out, and at the same time you tastefully mated (the microphone is constantly on) and tried to break the iPhone, aggressively scattering it (data from the gyroscope pulled), let me just install the application of the competitors (having collected data on the use of which, Siri realized that everything was okay there).
In the end, she won’t even ask:
Jarvis, all the power on the accelerators!
It is done, sir.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120663
 16.11.2015
My sister moved to another country.
I: The only plus of your move is I don’t need to watch horrors with you.
C: So I don’t see them without you.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №120662
 16.11.2015
The All-Russian Federation on Doping was suspected in light athletics.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120661
 16.11.2015
News "The Russians will be taught how to defend themselves with selfie sticks"

The comments:

by Igor Ivankin
How is a selfie stick different from a telescope? Except for weight. I will buy a telescope and give it for a selfie stick.
And if serious, this is a rather difficult dilemma for lawmakers: people, in fact, now walk with telescopes. At the same time, the law of prohibition of telescopes is considered a nonsense. The head can be broken with a turnik.

13th Ilya
Fighting selfie sticks - from the iron stations of the USSR! Cheap and without intermediaries!

Alexander Timchenko
What about CHO? If as a selfie stick to use a baseball bit with an iron case attached to it in the shape of the "morgenstern" for a smartphone - this is the same for self-defense!!! to

Sergey the owner
You will need to search in the internet about titanium selfie sticks..... if you beat it... and shock in the smartphone.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120660
 16.11.2015
“It was you who almost struck me and a few others, pushing this damn brake to the focus on the red light of the next lightfork and flying out, visging the tyres, to the middle of the pedestrian crossing? And I didn’t even notice that the green light for pedestrians has been flashing for five seconds and will be flashing 15 more.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120659
 16.11.2015
Everything is normal. After the death of the terrorist, the anger falls out of him. There are two passports. Usually alone though.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120658
 16.11.2015
Serhiollll: The river has 2 banks - left and right. How is it with the lakes? Artificial water reservoirs in the shape of a multidimensional?
wagonw: The locals define places like this: The struna where Potapich has eaten the som! Or the side where Mikhalich drunk fell from the boat and drowned! IDF: 0 by the event!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120657
 16.11.2015
Wut: Klichko has won again
Lily: What is it?
Well not boxing!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna