bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №12793
 25.11.2008
It may be useful to anyone.
When I go to the toilet at night, I only turn on the lights so that no one is awakened. Due to the coloring of the retinal pigment when exposed to it light, leaving the toilet, I lose for a while the ability to see in a poorly illuminated room => difficult to get to bed.
I solved this problem by closing one eye when entering the toilet. Thus, one eye becomes illuminated and the other remains adapted to the darkness.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №12792
 25.11.2008
The story was told by a pencil collector with 40 years of experience, in whose collection 7 thousand copies.

A production meeting was held at the pencil factory under Soviet power. One rationaliser suggested saving a expensive pencil griffle and leaving 5 centimeters of pencil wooden - no one still writes to the end. The rationalist received a prize.

After some time, another rationalizer proposed to cut off the extra wooden centimeters - there is no griffle anyway. He was also supported...

c) The Wikipedia

[ + 77 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №12791
 25.11.2008
The question in the scanword: "And... with him". Word of three letters.

The correct answer is not appropriate. 0 - O

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №12790
 25.11.2008
XXX: Here the boys told me how "tequando" translates...
WOW: And how then?
XXX: Take one door. O_O

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №12789
 25.11.2008
Max (16:53:23) Let’s work
DeMon (16:54:24) do not want to
Max (16:54:34) has this word
DeMon (16:54:48) is a word to put
Max (16:55:02) has this word to dismiss
DeMon (16:55:13) is such a word
Max (16:55:25) there is such a word without a bubble
DeMon (16:55:59) I will go to work

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №12788
 25.11.2008
We live in an interesting country. On November 22, protests took place in the Far East against increased tariffs on car imports and artificial prices for gasoline. In Vladivostok alone, about 10,000 participants gathered. In Petropavlovsk the demonstration was dismantled by OMON, the organizers were detained by the police. Have you heard about it in the news? All central channels were silent about this unpleasant situation. Instead, they talked about a Belarusian girl-illegal in the United States. We live in an interesting country.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №12787
 25.11.2008
Have a good night, beautiful
She: Well, to beauty I am far away, and time is still childish.
He said, “Then be careful, monster!

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №12786
 25.11.2008
I suspected that the names of our pop bands are randomly given, but so to name the group and the series, the idols of little girls:

"Ranetka — the girl who lost her virginity early (in criminal jargon)" (c)Wikipedia
elffm

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №12785
 25.11.2008
My relatives came from Tyumen, they were not with us for 15 years. When they were last, I was 6 years old and walked under the table. So, brought me a toy machine and a kidney surprise as a gift.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №12784
 25.11.2008
“Great trips are overshadowed by small dream interpreters.”

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №12783
 25.11.2008
The real story. My acquaintance Lena married in Korea. and immediately started

Teach your husband Russian. In Korea, it is common to cheat with words.

"Combe" what does it mean to drink!! Or for health! Lena decided to stick.

and explained that in Russia the usual toast ""fuck!!! Naturally as a man.

All the Koreans acted responsibly and remembered this word... and he worked in the

A managing director decided to send him to China.

As a wedding gift, so that you don’t get bored.

I decided to go with my wife to China for a celebration.

At the opening of the office, a solemn dinner was held.

Russian partners were also invited.

The hero speaks a long speech. He raises a glass of champagne.

Addressing his Russian partners in pure Russian, he said:

Dear friends! And now fucking!!! to

The rush was incredible!! The Russians couldn’t get back from laughter.

40 minutes of time!! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №12782
 25.11.2008
Not my own, from KVN.

Writer Volkov distorted the plot “The Wizard of the Emerald City”. in itself

The case Ellie first got to the mac field and only then met.

The speaking lion, the living horror, and the iron wool.

[ + 96 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №12781
 25.11.2008
Any reminder of the crisis evokes in my memory an old Soviet-Deputy joke: Brezhnev tells Reagan the history of the USSR civil war, collectivization, industrialization, VOV, corn... Reagan, after listening carefully, asks: “And you haven’t tried them?”

P.S Children, if you do not know the surnames of Brejni and Reagan, as well as the word "dust", you should not put a minus quote or pretend to have understood. Just forget

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №12780
 25.11.2008
Down the pattern! Learn as you should:

I went to the theatre yesterday. A man comes out and says, “A revisor is coming to us!” The curtain.

Oil painting: Sunflower, Van Gogh

Yesterday I was sitting all day at the reporting job. I thought a lot.

Yesterday my wife cut on the onion in the kitchen. I am crying.

Yesterday, the horse brought an unattended horse. He says: "Where to put it?". And wild roast on the whole stall.

One day, a bandit runs into the bank, drops a gun on us and says, “This is a robbery!” Then the bed.

Yesterday on TV showed the leader of the laughing panorama lying on the beach. Peterson is resting.

Where do people send funny quotes?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY


[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №12779
 25.11.2008
he is so boring that even in the list of money expenditures he has a count "for spending" >__<

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №12778
 24.11.2008
xxx: I was so lame... you don’t even imagine... I was at a friend, they celebrated Saturday and they didn’t see each other for a long time... in general they drank.... and I was given a friend to fix the laptop, well, her husband should be in the evening to come to me - to pick up the notebook. Here he calls the guy came, well, I say that I will go out to him and go for the note... I go out on the wizz... I see his car... she comes in to me, I sit down... I look at the driver, and I see a stranger... he says to me.
Who are you?
I him
I say... I think I’m muddy and mistaken with the car.
He rides sitting.
- I, he says, came home and wrapped up in the courtyard, and you sat in the car to me for no reason.
I say...
I am sorry, but it happens.)

Well, we’ve got a picture of the porch like an adequate person turned out to be.)))

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №12777
 24.11.2008
I agree that the last new year was full of papers, all these extra tickets, a bunch of unknown people and when D. Ponomarev (president of the company Mera) says, pointing to the crazy guy whose friends carry on their hands: "This to be fired." And he replies to him, "And you will dismiss me, I do not work in Mary."

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №12776
 24.11.2008
Now I look out the window, and at the crossroads on the diagonal is a trolleybus! Just standing from one corner to the other, long such, on all sides of the traffic jams.
But the joke is not that. It’s a joke that the trolley buses don’t go here!! to
PSP, where did it come from?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №12775
 24.11.2008
Riddled with his grandfather in the servette, took an ancient aluminium spoonful on which it was scratched: Look for the fox meat.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №12774
 24.11.2008
......
YYYY
Because of this consumer relationship, all men think that we just need money.
XXX is
Aha
XXX is
Listen...and if by analogy...maybe they don’t need electric sex?

— — —
I slept...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna