If McDonald’s and Apple join forces, they’ll be able to make a McMac!

One day, a bottle of vodka came out of the seat and fell under the brake pedal. Impressions on the whole movie!
Yyy: Fig with her, with vodka (forgive this blasphemy). This is when under the pedals comes a pekinese or a cat.
zzz: A cat with a pekinese is struck by the pedal to the floor, and the bottle is not droplets!

She: I have to shave and shave!
He: Well, I’m saying – to blaspheme and lull!

Bohme: Namedny had to visit the bathroom palace of students of his university. There the ceilings are so high-high, 5-6 meters exactly.
Bohme: Under the ceiling is like an odor. There’s a toilet wrap in it. I’m not even asking how or why, and who came to mind at all. Humans are enough. But the fact that he was whitened together with the walls and the ceiling broke my pattern forever.
Bohme: Performance is their mother!

Why do you treat my mother so badly? She loves you very much and always speaks good about you.
in-diana jones: I can’t normally treat a person who calls on Saturday at 6 a.m. and ORET: "SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! What did you buy me? I will condemn you! You bought me a computer with viruses! I don’t work anything!! I can’t catch the VKontakt and the One Class!!! What is the first number today??? This is a computer!! Let him pay for it himself!!! Come and do it!!and "

XXX: I am charming, precisely a quark.
YYY: In the sense?
XX: In the sense, few people know about it.

From the ixbt forum:
xxx: We want to buy a TV, preferably with 3D within 25 thousand. What can you advise?
YYY: Copy the next.

From Twitter:
xxx: I pulled out the batteries from one of the phalloimers and put them in the controller. Included the telephone. TV is fucking. Batteries back in the hole

He is:
Love is like diarrhea. Your head knows that it’s time to stop, but you can’t.

She is:
How cute, how cute, how cute, how cute, how cute...

On one site in the list of goods, the text is cut by the number of characters (for example, only 200). Funny cut: Cooking can become an exciting activity. Does it sound tempting? Know the pain...

The real news:
The Mexican drug mafia decapitated a blogger, leaving a note on the body: killed for comments.
PS: Hmm, what is it for you?
ZZZ: Yes, you don’t know how to sign up for the Mexican drug mafia?

The news:
“MTS-Ukraine” will start charging for sending notifications on delivery of SMS messages.

The commentary:
Your SMS has not yet been delivered (3 copies)
Your SMS has not yet been delivered (3 copies)
Do you make a paying call of a frog?(Three cops)
- the subscriber has read your message, but the database has not yet been updated, so it has not yet been delivered (3 cop.)
It has already been delivered (3 cops).

Selected places from correspondence at work:
A: Marina complains that she doesn’t understand a lot of your words
B: For example, what does she not understand?
A: For example, says B. V. All the time I say the word "trivial"
A: I don’t know what this word means.
B: And in the dictionary – no?
A: You have to think about it.
A: And knowing what it is
A: Do you use less foreign words with her?
A: The girl is stressed.
B: That’s why I have so few readers.
B: Here the brother of my wife, who reads me, complains to her: “I am half, says, I don’t understand what B. in JJ writes.”
B: I think it’s simple...
A: I wept her to be a bulldozer
A: She didn’t know who.

Battery on the laptop.
She: Lesh, here I am, my charge is over.
He: You worry about me.
She: Yes, on the other hand

I went to a prostitute site. I went to page one, chic, 18 by night. Stuk 20 enthusiastic comments, 21st: "I read - in Ahuya! This is my ex! In short, take it properly."

We see the sun in the past. It may have already exploded, extinguished, and so on. Eight and a half minutes late.
I’m going to live in fear now, thinking I’ve only eight minutes left.

Are there no Jews in the family?
YYY: With whom?
XXX: I am sure you have it!

Murray: I gave up today. for the fourth time
SBP : Ogo
SBP: What was it about?
Murleska: The inspector was called a goat for the first time. He hit me twice.

The fools always think that the smart people live at their expense.

I don’t remember where I heard this story. It’s not a beast, but it’s a smile.
The 90s. Finally, the breathing gasoline was broken. The porch burned. There are no parts, and it is not foreseeable. The man gathered the necessary mechanism to hide in the barracks forever, to grind wood.
Friendship 2 + husband. A neighbor passed over to him. The prosec proposed this and said, “Let’s get it to the Chinese in the market!” “How is it? “She doesn’t breathe?” “Fuck!” replied the prohinder. He pulls in the Soviet workshop a piston from a whole piece of a cap (this growth on the breeze is the hardest), collects the mechanism and this is a miracle - it works! Well, it’s clear and clear that this happiness won’t last long.
Go to market. Not for money, but for happiness! In exchange for the package, please. They stop until the Chinese nearby changed his mind and rushed home. The thing was decided to sell, the money to share. Do you need to look at the stranger? Covered on the table, placed an asshole to the master, in order to combine the domestic television and overseas miracle, and there.
The cassette is untouchable. A half-hour speech by Mao Zedong.