Rest is when you don’t have a single thought in your head.

I read a story from past years about how a cat tried to spire and pull home (on the balcony) a three-kilogram bag with a hammer.
This is the story of my mother.
A long time ago, even in the time of Khrushchev, she worked as a geologist in the province in the organization "Intercolchozprojekt". The essence of this work was as follows: the collegiate farm is going to build some object (a cowhouse there or a vegetable warehouse), they first order the project. The first thing geologists and geodesists go to the site - they mark the territory, study the soil and give a conclusion - introductory for designers.
So my mother went with a geodeticist to one of the collages to the customers.
Geodeticist - with his main instruments - the theodolite in a canvas bag and a stall - a three-legged in his hand. In the right place, he began to install this treadmill, putting a bag with theodolit on the ground. At this time, a colloquial pig ran and, thinking that there was something delicious in the bag, grabbed it and took it.
to run. At that time, it was not usual to feed pigs in the collages - the Communist Party only tried to raise the agriculture in words, pigs (and the rest of the cattle too) lived on foot food and were, according to my mother, roasted on high and thin legs, in one word - goats.
(or to the border) In general, the young guy - a geodeticist could not catch a pig.
Theodolitus was able to take away from her only when the pig went into a hole in the fence - the theodolitus stuck.

General Motors is recalling about 1.5 million vehicles due to a defect in the heating system of the glass cleaner.
In the “Auto” they don’t understand what it’s about.

I hate sushi.
Murgancovka: I hate food where the potatoes are more than the food.

The question about the stupidity of hamsters
WOW: What is it?
HHH: I was told a story here. It seems like a real case, and the hell knows it.
HH: In general, the story is like this.
The man had a cat and a hamster at home.
One evening, a man observes a picture: next to the cage sits a cat and stares indissociably at the hamster, and he runs away from him in a wheel.
The man shrugged and went to sleep.
He wakes up in the morning and sees the same picture.
Nothing has changed since the evening, the cat sits still and drills the hammer with a glance, and he continues to run in the wheel.
The man was hysterical, but the hamster regretted and drove the cat out of the cage.
A hamster on the cushioning legs rolled out of the wheel, fell next to it and went through two days.
Tagged with: rofl

Luck is when you take a cup of hot tea, bring it to the compot, put it on the table. There’s a bunch of things on the table: a keyboard, a monitor, a modem, a mouse, a phone, a photocall, a cursor (who has been writing all week)... and with a careless movement you throw this cup clearly onto the table. And the tea fills everything except the above things. And today, I stood and smiled with my boiled legs, realizing that I was still lucky.

Do you wash yourself? with hands? o
YYY : Yes! Are you surprised?
Yyy: I will learn to cook and become an independent state

I watch today from the window: In the opposite house, the schoolchildren are playing CS. Columns on the floor of the house...
The poor people.
The characteristic sound of the end of the round. The 4th floor from the window rises small and says: "ahaha! I have killed you!"
Floor 6: "Not you are a Pashko!!!" Floor 7: "Yes! I missed it with APE!". The round begins. 1 minute is passing. Floor 4: "SUKIIIIIII" Floor 6: "Yes, well fuck it!!!" Floor 7: "Ahaha we are all you!!!" The line from Kalashnikov. The terrorist wine! Floor 7: "What fool killed me and sparked me?" Floor 5, next door, a man of 30 years is lifted up and with this bass: "Well, I, ep". After that, there was no sound from the house.)

xxx: Do you, dear Shaurmofiles, have a way to eat a shaverma without paper?? to
YYY: Eat only the saverma. Do not eat paper.

Has anyone seen a cat?
Since I have seen it, I have not seen it...

The Ekaterinburgers! Lost without owners (left to another city) wonderful black brown cat. It differs in intelligence, wisdom, fun of morale. I can't keep myself, please respond to good people: unshakable administrators, snooping animes, other potential owners. Please miss it! 2 three two 8 nine two 4 six nine.

(From comments to the author's distribution of a new album of a well-known group)

thank you!
You can see who are the people and who are the Mikhalkovs.

We go with my brother in the car (I am 26, he is 20), I am driving, he sits next to me and looks out the window...
- It was good when you were a child... So you sit in the car, you look at other drivers in the traffic jams, you could smile to them, they started smiling with their hands... They started smiling, and you hope that at least for a little but raised their mood... And now... You will smile and think you are a pedicure.

Replacing the usual "gay" with "hm" makes us more intelligent in the eyes of the interlocutor.

The first sign of approaching old age - when to congratulate someone on student day

My aunt is coming today. In the train. In the zero wagon. Between the eighth and ninth...

A girlfriend is sitting at a pediatrician reception with a child (11 months).
Doctor- "What words does the child know?"
Mom and Dad, Dad and Dad, Dad and Dad, Dad and Dad!!! Grandpa and Grandpa"
Doctor- " well well, very good!"
child- (groco for the entire cabinet)- "blue blue!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
YYY: I have never seen it :)
YYY: Is it comfortable?
XXX: He knows it. I opened, scared and closed.
YYY: :-))))))))

Katyusha, today you are 18 and you are going to a huge ocean called life!! to
The voice from behind the table: Well, and before that she was in the harbour!! to

Moscow School of Economics

xxx: there is good because after the first course there is practice in an analogue country

YYY: O_O

I would be afraid to go to such a country.