bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №72756
 08.11.2012
Yes, I demand a million euros and a helicopter to Venezuela

I think with a man who plans to fly a helicopter to Venezuela,
It is possible to pay in dollars made on Xerox.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72755
 08.11.2012
The new head of the Ministry of Defense has been appointed Governor of Moscow Sergei Shoigu.
Former Defense Minister Serdyukov has been appointed director of the furniture store.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №72754
 08.11.2012
Okay, read this one, it’s small.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №72753
 08.11.2012
Why is there no analog programming technology? I understand that large sizes, that glucose can not be analyzed (most spouses with such:)) and a repair master for a month to call... but the figure is not much better. Buy a new device. Read it above. And the repair of most of them is expensive... "Rubins", "Horizons", "Urals" and every other equipment, it was with the soul! Wabal from his feet and paches, even better than before... Loved life very much! I am crying (

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №72752
 08.11.2012
The left hand broke. I think loudly:
When my left hand is itching, it’s for money or I’ll say hello.
Without leaving the newspaper:
I will not give or let.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №72751
 08.11.2012
On one women’s forum theme "Man washes at night"
- the main thing is not snoring, but weeping)I sleep very sensitively, I can't fall asleep because of this.I sneeze all night in the side)))Tell me what this can be related to and how to get rid of it?
The first comment:
For a long time, don’t don’t?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72750
 08.11.2012
Commentary on the tattoo in the form of a barcode:
Wait, soon it will be free.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №72749
 08.11.2012
Prologue is shit.
WOW: Here you code in normal language, more or less coding, okay, norm. You cuddle on the prologue - and fucking like you smoked. You seem to be coding too, but this kind of hell and shit is unimaginable, where the smell can be described by a chair, and time - purple.

[ + 66 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72748
 08.11.2012
I recently got the rights and bought a car. Because the roads in the village are bad, we had to take a frame SUV. The car is solid and not for newcomers. She hanged a crying sign, but only from behind, and from the sides and from the front can not, the overview closes. Do drivers need to sign that I am a newbie? Then my brother, a driver with a traineeship, says to me, "If anything, someone is going to cheat on you, you the middle finger up and point to the window, as a symbol of a crying sign, such as "I am a newbie, I am a newbie."

I go, show, and we found a half city newbie. I say to him, “I’m a newbie” and he answers me, “Yes, I’m a newbie,” and it’s so ugly... for some reason.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72747
 08.11.2012
Q: What is your favorite number?
Wow, there is no such thing :)
Oh, you are a humanitarian.
Q: Which letter is your favorite?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №72746
 08.11.2012
She cried through the whole apartment:
I need dead bodies for school tomorrow!! to
O O O O O? Asya, go down and repeat what you need?
The bodies!
Assy, whose bodies do you need: human, animal, insect?
and human! - here in my head grows a plan, as we are now urgently going to the morg of the first city hospital to negotiate the body of the child for work.
“Hedgehog, rice, seeds... I need crops for work,” Asya repeats.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №72745
 08.11.2012
In the morning I want to sit at the table, and in my place, as appropriate, the cat lies.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Let me sit!
And she stands up and changes the dislocation so that I have enough space.
They are from another planet, and sometimes they burn.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №72744
 08.11.2012
My younger sister went to the gynecologist, 19 years old. A doctor is sitting, filling out a card, the classic question: “Are you a virgin?” Sister: "Yes" The doctor’s eye is 0_o "what, at all????Q&A: I didn’t even find anything to answer.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №72743
 08.11.2012
<opium> I invented a new emoji
<Opium >
Opium> is a ninja

[ + 38 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72742
 08.11.2012
C this hospital smoothly turns into a cat: I sleep again. Sometimes I eat eggs.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №72741
 08.11.2012
Xxx: I used to attack a cat in the dark, and now even a robot vacuum cleaner!
Yyy: What, meucal or whispered?
Xxx: Nothing but the wrath of the march was hidden, as if the rubbish did not fall into the tapes.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №72740
 08.11.2012
Maybe it is very annoying when the head hurts and the husband is not?

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72739
 08.11.2012
It's shit when you're stuffing something and you don't know what to do with it and at the same time in those. Support calling is not an option...because those. The support is you =(

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №72738
 08.11.2012
Talk to a familiar business lady.
I: She’s generally nothing, looks, brains, money... but, fucking, why can’t she remove the whims?
Friend: Well, we often don’t notice the elementary things that are right under our nose. This is literally =D

[ + 27 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72737
 08.11.2012
The wise is not the one who laughs at stupidity, but the one who uses it.

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