bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №12854
 30.11.2008
Routes cutting down traffic jams, passing through the courtyards, is cool. It is massive. One day you look out on the street, and there under your windows the tram is stealing.

The Macedonian (c)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №12853
 30.11.2008
People, I write from Ukraine... we have new traffic rules... there must be a condom in the pharmacy and my mother was fined for driving without a condom... fucking... and they say that there is a crazy government in Russia...

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №12852
 30.11.2008
[05.11.2008 23:20:57] Pleasant says: If you look too long into the abyss, the abyss will hide in you sooner or later. F. Nietzsche

Scuca, I also wanted to push my quotation on the tower)))))))

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №12851
 30.11.2008
I see the future of our children.
In the lesson of literature, the subject: The image of Odin in the early quotes of Bash...

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №12850
 30.11.2008
Even more exciting was the electronic alcohol tester, which is installed on order on Volvo trucks. If he "hears" alcohol vapors - the engine will not start. The tentative Russian journalists, naturally, asked: “What if an unconscious driver asks a sober friend to blow in the alcohol tester?”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №12849
 30.11.2008
Which is better: a minor success or a fairy failure?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №12848
 30.11.2008
Explosive area

Recently, a colleague from the local newspaper said:

On the shore of the Egorliksk canal, local residents found a large projectile.

The caliber of the Great Patriotic times. Reported to local district

Authorized police officer. In turn, he informed his

direct chief, staff of the district military committee and the Emergency Service. Answer from

All three departments were identical: “Organize the clutch and wait.

The sappers!”

Captain Alexey Eropkin (let’s call him so) turned out to be a guy

disciplined: marked a dangerous place with flags and began to

the perimeter of the possible explosion zone. I walked from early morning until evening.

I got tired. But the sappers are not, and they are not. It was already dark. The eye begins

to climb. And I want. How to be here?

I called from my mobile phone to my native OVD. The answer was: “Closure

Don’t wait for the sappers!” It was midnight, and

There is not even a deputy captain. So I decided

Eropkin on the only correct (in his opinion) step: a spade excavated

shell from coastal clay, carefully wrap it with a wire (on the shore)

some sort of fuchsia rolled), took under the mouse and carried it in the support

The point. There locked up on a reliable castle, and he went home: to eat,

And sleeping a little...

In the morning, the projectile was taken to the previous location. Repair the flags. and began to go out.

Perimeter of discipline, you know.

In the evening, the sapphires arrived. Driving a safe place abroad

removal (nearly half a kilometre), wearing explosive-protected costumes and

Go to a dangerous discovery. It was discovered by the new captain.

carefully disguised), removed after a long effort

The explosive explosive (he was in a raised state and only

miracle did not work), and the 152-mm deadly fugas on the

The special machine, filled with sand, was taken to the nearest carrier and detonated.

It was so roaring that the crows from five kilometers from the trees fled!

The morality? And what morality? We need to take care of them: we are in Stauropolis.

This job is being sought by fire people during the day. The sapphires must:

suddenly the guard of order will take such a "find" home, or to the school, where

The police station is located...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №12847
 30.11.2008
Special offer for GSM customers - "Hateful Number". Now is

All calls from your enemies are charged to you as international.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №12846
 30.11.2008
I work in the fitness center as a coach. This is for women. For the men, I am a serga from the hood :) Not the essence. A couple of friends come to us - Vanya and Lecha. The first shakes for the sake of the babies and sticks to all the clients (and they, the trip, like it). The second simplyins shape and does not pay attention to our clients (and this is mutual). I didn’t talk about it, until recently. Until one girl came to us. Not to say that it is full, rather it is simply not a hangover, like the rest, whose ribs are torn and the chest is flat. Just a normal lady like that, looking nice. The third breast. Such is rare today.
So here, Lecha goes past this new woman, running on the runway and dying on a half-step. Vanessa to him:
What are you?
He looks at the newcomer for a long time and says:
Vanessa has meat on her.
The new lady pretended she didn’t hear, the other girls shaken. Well, the guys left, and after half an hour Lecha came back. With a broken bouquet of roses (I think so for half a hundred flowers), which presented the new one, to her great surprise. Then he clearly worshiped, turned around and steered away. The faces of the other women should have been seen.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №12845
 30.11.2008
xxx: I fell asleep yesterday and understood that if the button "insert" read the opposite, then you will get "tremble"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №12844
 30.11.2008
My parents really wanted me to have children. But at the same time, they definitely need me to reproduce only by cuddling..."

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №12843
 30.11.2008
Women are very insidious! Yesterday, one of my acquaintances, for example, said that she broke her leg. I checked out, no scratches. But it was too late...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №12842
 30.11.2008
If humans had a tail, the kamasutra would be a third thicker.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №12841
 29.11.2008
More money – more requests. The law of life.
More requests – more money. The law of Google.
c) KY3bMa

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №12840
 29.11.2008
He defended his diploma, graduated, went to work at the same university undergraduate.
Did you decide to go to the other side a second time?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №12839
 29.11.2008
Millions of prayers were heard - today the house burned

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №12838
 29.11.2008
Anna
Hi to. Traffic is over, can't throw the tenth?

Zhenya
Hi to you! If you consider that a person weighing 90 kg and having a height of 189 cm can throw at least 50 cm to a maximum of 15 kg, then 1010/15 = 67.33333 people are needed to support the VAZ-2110. Round up to 67.
The length of the car - 4265 mm, width - 1880 mm. Total length of the perimeter of the car = 4265*2 + 1880*2 = 8530 + 3760 = 12 meters 29 centimeters. The average width is 50 cm. In total, the perimeter of VAZ-2110 can accommodate 24 people. And this is much less necessary to throw 67.
The conclusion is that the tenth cannot be thrown!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №12837
 29.11.2008
The only request that does not result in an internal

protest: "Please sign up in the news".

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №12836
 29.11.2008
The story is well-known, but it hasn’t been here yet. About Rostovich.

When he was a young musician, he played with an orchestra.

The work. And there is a very difficult moment - you need to move quickly.

Put your hand in the bottom of the violin and take a very high note. Here they play.

They are the first time this topic - Rostropovich fits perfectly. Playing the second -

Perfect again. And many more times. The other orchestras were interested.

How does he get so wrong. Waiting for Rostropovich somewhere

He went out in an anthrax and began to study his instrument. They discovered that

On the griff, just in the right place, stands an unhealthy one.

The pencil mark. Well, they decided to stick, remove that mark and

I painted it half the way up. And then the antracit ends.

begins to play and the whole orchestra cuts his eyes at Rostropovich, barely

Restricting the laughter. They approach a difficult place, everyone holds their breath, and

Vengeance to OPP! It goes perfect again! He continues to play, but

The middle finger on the hand holding the ligament.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №12835
 29.11.2008
A Jewish mother goes out on the balcony and cries:

and Arkansas! to home!

The boy raises his head and cries in response:

Am I frozen?

No is! You want to eat!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna