bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №24138
 27.12.2009
There is a belief that in a wonderful moment in contact, everyone will become friends of everyone.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №24137
 27.12.2009
mike_the_bike:I went to a psychologist today, all kinds of advice to collect, so I was immediately bitten:).We play with her in an association, she asks something, I look in the window, all in my thoughts immersed.She says "alcoholic", well I am gladly answering"a hundred and twenty!".Devaha is so shaken-"itishnik what?"

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №24136
 27.12.2009
I work as an administrator in the universe, a man comes in, offers to buy books for children (just a tree tree in the acting hall passed). The further dialogue:
The Stories? I want to do something on Linux.
For what? We have colours.
(The whole section of the choir) - DISPLAYING ON LINUX!!! = D
The man swallowed like the wind.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №24135
 27.12.2009
He joined the literary Internet community. Very interesting, cultural, educated people with developed imagination. They can send you very far and deeply, but they will do so that you will be standing and applauding.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №24134
 27.12.2009
I was frozen, he offered to embrace the battery... he burned his tongue, I suggested to lick the freezer... blin..we are the perfect couple)))

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №24133
 27.12.2009
It would be better for me to beat the carpet with a toothbrush in pink strings in the booth at night under the songs of Gazmanov.

Leave the phone.
Pidars from Northern Butovo.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №24132
 27.12.2009
Irina, a drug buyer, at the time of her arrest and further communication with the operatives, seriously thought that she was being filmed in the show and expected to bring flowers to the studio, the foundation said.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №24131
 27.12.2009
To the question "what smells of your work" almost everyone replied "Doshirak"... and only the sanitary officer, squeezing his teeth, sent everybody naked.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №24130
 27.12.2009
She: Dear, you know today is such a special day... On this day the Libra turns into a scorpion.
And what is it ?
People born on this day are considered special.
He is... Fuck.
Happy Birthday to My Favorite :-*

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №24129
 27.12.2009
Of course, you never want to lie, but you can’t get all the truth.
by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №24128
 27.12.2009
At the end of the 1990s, when the so-called error of 2000, which supposedly promised to multiply by zero the many years of effort of American programmers, dimmed on the horizon, many of our brothers came to the United States to participate in solving the evil problem.

There was one programmer in our team, let’s call him Lecha, who said what’s called, rarely, but deliciously. He worked for an insurance company in Mainframe. Like any mainframe maker, he has periodically had to work on call, this is when you are appointed as a security guard on the system and the operator from the computing center can call you home at night if something is not working. It is clear that no one likes to be awake in the middle of the night to deal with someone else’s mistake and make the program work out, but here you don’t go anywhere – that’s life.

So our Leha started receiving the same type of calls every time he was on night duty. He began to understand what it was about and discovered an interesting pattern for himself. The program, which was constantly rolling, handled the insurance policies previously introduced into the system.
Individual insurance policies have flown to the wave. Most families, too, but with a few exceptions.

During the processing of policies, the gender of insured persons was checked under certain conditions. In the distant 1970s, when the system was written, it was assumed that the spouses, naturally, should be of different sexes. Otherwise, the program believed that there was a data input error and completed the work in emergency mode. Until the end of the 90s, everything worked like this, but the times, unfortunately, change.

Leha for a long time could not understand what was the reason for such frequent failures and to the night calls of the operator stupidly responded that it was necessary to continue the execution of the eadachi.

When he understood what it was about, a lonely, but penetrating Russian phrase emerged from him: "They borrowed the pd#$@sy!"

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №24127
 27.12.2009
My husband changes clothes. The woman looks at him and asks:
Who has teased your back so hard?
My husband reds out of embarrassment:
- Imagine yesterday I was walking in the street and suddenly from the balcony on my back.
The cat has fallen, don’t you believe it?
Of course I believe! There is written on the lipstick: This is me, your pussy!

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №24126
 27.12.2009
GEBB
Have you broken the window? You just sent me a link to a picture of the cat. to me! I am the prince of darkness, and you are sending me a cat.

Ximerka
The X-H You have good eyes.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №24125
 27.12.2009
to this:

The brother has the phone of the beginner Jedi: there is such a feature-to turn off the alarm, it is enough to hold a hand over it.

Every morning I hear the following:
The awakening:
Brother (going over the phone with the hand): You don’t want to wake me up!

The Silence...
____________________________
I want that too! Write a phone model.
219 426 412

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №24124
 27.12.2009
ZanozA: I recently found a textbook on OBŽ for the 8th grade... I decided to polist, look... I was delighted with the phrase: "If you are bitten by a dog, then you need to overcome the pain, not with a sharp movement, put a brush in her throat, so that the dog is suffocated!" %)

[ + 92 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24123
 27.12.2009
xxx: Woke up at the server room, warm, cozy, quiet =))))
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! to

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №24122
 27.12.2009
xxx: and in general, the ideal interface is one button "do it"
ууу: from my experience in Binda you need at least 2 buttons - "make it work" and "return as it was"
WOW: and it is desirable another - "set up the fuck";

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №24121
 27.12.2009
<Rain> book found in 1892 fucking
<Rain> Exemplary Kitchen
<Rain> shrinking water

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №24120
 27.12.2009
Q: Did you have sex at all?
How to say...? participated...
Oh yeah he?
Xy: Somewhere 17.5 years ago.


[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №24119
 26.12.2009
Hedin
The brother. life for a long time.

piton
Full for a long time

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna