CPA – 100%

Through the Field, Through Gaia
“Help the boy...”
(Platon of Voronezh)

I really like to help people. Especially unfamiliar and especially when it is worth nothing to me. Per it is my innate engineering drive to high CPC, or it can be just buying the Kholyat nature. difficult to say.

One day I approached the pedestrian crossing, the green was already dominating and I decided to wait for the next, at this moment on my side of the sidewalk hardly had time to cross a little old lady with a stick. I still thought it was moving at the speed of a shadow from a tree, but look, it was. Then I looked up and realized that the niqab she didn’t have time – it was just a failed attempt to move on the other side.

After 60 seconds, a new green burned, a crowd of pedestrians rushed to the way, and the old lady rushed, but only in her plans. She slowly descended from the slippery sidewalk to an even more slippery zebra and began touching it with a stick to study the white strip friction rate in advance.
I immediately picked up the old lady under her elbow and said:

“Sudaryana, don’t worry and rely entirely on me.
“Well, you go alone, with me you won’t get to the end of the green.
If we don’t succeed, this is the fate, we will die together. I, as an honest man, will not abandon you, but will be with you until the end, in sorrow and joy, until the transition separates us.

Of course, we didn’t have time, but nobody killed us. Killing two is already a serious time, and a cap for replacement. We hardly even wandered.

On the other side of the road I worshiped the old lady and said:

Goodbye, I was well with you. Don’t miss the misery and be happy with others.

I hope her mood has improved a little. At least the road has finally crossed.

The next day, I saw an old man from the post office pulling a cart after him and every three steps he stopped and breathed his fisted fists. Of course, that’s not my business, but I didn’t resist and asked:

How are you without gloves on such a cold?

Just asked, out of empty sympathy, I could not help anyway.
Grandfather cried out and replied that it was only at the bottom, in the entrance, that he realized that he had forgotten his gloves, well, not to go up after them back to the third floor. There are minus eight in the street. My fingers don’t shake at all. X-Y-Y-Y

I compassionately shrugged my shoulders, wanted to go further, but suddenly I remembered: Why can’t I help anything? I could very well and took out of my pocket the construction gloves in which, three days ago, I cleaned the car from the snow, and so went into the jacket. I stretched a piece of cotton to my grandfather, he was long neglected, did not want to take it until I explained that the price is three rubles a dozen, and even new.
Still, I took it, immediately dressed it and asked, “Let me give you money for them?”
I traded like a god and negotiated that for my gloves, he pledged to remember me with a kind word. Tom was cut off.
Then my grandfather drove his package without stopping, I specifically stood, watched.

And on Friday morning I got out of the elevator with a bunch of bags and a car brush with my arm. Our concierge Paul saw me, stood out of his window, showed me a sealed bottle of cognac and sadly said:

Oh, I need you! Come and drink, there’s a reason. Today is my sister’s birthday, anniversary. Seventy years, I understand. Years go by, 70 years, I don’t even believe it. She lives in Leningrad. I have never been in Leningrad in my life. Everyone was just gathering to her. My sister called, she called, what’s the difference?
To go there, money is needed, and the forces are no longer the same, especially with my hernia on the stations to wheel. Let’s drink for her health. The date is serious, I understand.

I felt as if I had been hit with a bag, as far as the whiskers were stuck and from surprise the brush fell with a thunderstorm.
Such fortunes, when the CPA of help strives to be a hundred percent, can only happen to good people like me.

I said:

Stop, stop and stop! Pasha, don’t open the bottle, put on a jacket, a hat, take the charge from your phone, close your booth and go out. I don’t need anything else, I have sandwiches and thermos.

Eight hours and seven hundred and forty kilometers later, we were already entering the house of my sister on Vasilyevsky Island.
I gave Paul clear instructions that tomorrow at 18:00 I would take him from the entrance.

So it happened that I needed to come to Peter for a day, because just that day my institutional friend was released from SIZO, let go slightly, business was pushed off, but let go. But this is another story.

On Saturday night, Paul and I were rushing home on the snow-picked M-11 road and every hour, Paul was telling the same story, only with new details:

-...Take it off, there are four calls on the floor and even the numbers are deleted on them, I accidentally, I understood, I press, well, it wasn't. It turned out, from the first time, I stumbled into the seventh apartment. Love such, he understood, asks: - who is there?, and the dressed, there and the guests laugh at her something, throw. He opens the door, I understand. Oh! Shit brother! You! → I say, of course I, and who else? Did you think I would not come to you on this date? I understood? She is in tears, shake. Come in, you are the best gift for me, come here and go here.

I listened to this story six times, but did not interrupt it. A happy man is cut off.

Only in the MKAD-e Paul cut off and grabbed...

P.S

All with the coming New Year!
And let all your problems be solved before we meet you.

I understood from Putin’s speech that everything is fine in the country and it will be even worse.

One of the best memories of childhood.. you try your best to sleep, but the sunshine through the window shines directly on you, the smell of blinkers and the ringing of dishes from the kitchen, the point is put by the dad, including "Play, harmony." You wake up and you are all at home, alive and healthy, and you are all loved, hugged, kissed and smoothed during the shower... You roll a little, while you do... Then you shower with cloves and run with your friends to the hillside rather – to ride, to blow petards and to roll girls in the snow...

10 years ago, I lived with a young man in a panel on the 3rd floor. In winter, the apartment was often ventilated due to hellish heating. I began to smell an unpleasant smell. In the evening he became stronger. It happened that I couldn’t sleep because of him. I ask everyone – it doesn’t smell anything, you think. I really started to think that I had problems with the head or brain cancer when wearing strange smells. Maybe I was so upset for a week, I didn’t even want to go home. The smell, I thought, was getting stronger. It turned out, it did not seem. A week later, the neighbors from the first floor also smelled. In short, the body of the decomposed bomber was taken out of the basement. Since then, I’ve been called a perfume.

Why do we say “bad” when a woman takes money and gives? I think it’s crazy when a woman takes money and doesn’t give.

This is a photo of Yuri Gagarin a few hours after landing. There is not his famous "Gagarine" smile here. There is a man who finally realized what happened and by what miracle he remained alive.
There were several unusual situations on earth. At first, weighing the astronaut in a scoop showed that he weighed 14 kg more than calculated. I had to urgently come up with a way to reduce the weight: I cut off two sensors from the scavenger.
After draining the luke, it turned out that it was not hermetic. There was little time left before the launch, but we managed to twist and twist 30 screws and the launch took place.
Everything was not as planned again. The second stage, with which there were never problems, worked 13 seconds longer and the spacecraft did not enter the calculated orbit, Gagarin was not told about it, but he understood that the situation was not standard. Several times he asked the CUP what had happened, but there was no answer. Everyone was waiting for the braking engine to work. He has worked. But the launch capsule did not separate from him, and together they began to fall to the ground.
“I am burning! Say goodbye!” Gagarin's words were not spoken for a long time, but it was exactly what he said when he saw flame tongues and streams of melted metal in the illuminator. He thought it was death.
But it burned the cover and due to the high temperature, the drop capsule finally disconnected and the regular decline began.
We all know that Gagarin had to catapult from the capsule along with the chair. Catapulted, flying, dropped a chair, the parachute opened, here is it, Earth!
Again an outlet. The supply of air in the skafandra has expired, and it cannot open it to breathe the earth's air. It was only six minutes after landing.
There were many smaller and not very troublesome, but Yuri Gagarin survived and became the first of the first! Remember at what price!

A cat came from the room and told me that the tree had lost consciousness.

In the fifth grade, an inspector for underage children came to our school and spent a class hour after the lessons.

Our classmate Serega Zverev made under the floor a scrap from his underground in the underground of the neighbors. The houses were for two owners, and in the kitchen of each owner there was an underground. The owners stored strawberries, compotes, homemade strawberries were stored in banks, fat was stored, etc.

It turns out Serega a month made a bribe, and then a couple of months lazed, food pulled.

They registered, were ashamed, Serega cried, promised that he would not be again.

Now he is not Serega, but Sergey Ivanovich, the father of four children, the chief mechanic of the RMC (repair mechanical workshop). But for us, classmates, he is still Serega "Monte Cristo")

Do you know what instant karma is?

Just just. He flew on 35 rows, almost in the tail.

The plane just landed – the neighbor jumped up, scattered everyone and ran to the nose of the plane to be the first to get out.

Trap arrived at the tail.

I am a student, waiting for the bus to go to my grandmother to the village, and in my pocket the delivery of the purchase of a ticket (30 rubles).

A poor man came and asked for bread. I grabbed all 30 rubles, thought that I would not get poorer, and the man would eat, and in that same second his phone is ringing. He simultaneously grabs the little thing from my palm and responds to the phone call with the words, “Yes, it’s okay, I’m at work.”

I visited my classmate when I was a child with my grandmother. The grandfather took his grandson for a walk and, when he met his friend Petrovich, they went to the beer store. Beer, fish and talk. Grandfather speaks to granddaughter, granddaughter does not.

Coming home, my classmate poured a compot into a glass of drink. and says.

Father, let’s go like you and Petrovich’s circles.

Such "lenses" grandfather from grandmother arrived, who smoked on the doorstep and tried not to burn.

My older sister is drawing on a magazine table (I am 6 years old, she is 11-12).

I watch for a long time as she paints, there is a landscape of a man, here she is already painting begins. I ask – so your parents will put puzzles into you, how will you turn out?

“But so,” she says and writes my name on the table where the artist’s signature should be. And she writes with her left hand (she is the right hand) to mimic my six-year-old handwriting.

Mom didn't believe my story and the puzzles on the broken table were inserted into me.

Family life not only relieves from loneliness, but a bonus allows you to long for loneliness.

One day...
- A little salt is lacking, well, and spices are little, - chewing another piece of sausage, the customer said.
- Fuck, he's a gourmet, I thought, but he said something quite different, we'll fix it! - Although it has been corrected ten times, no less, you will not try it with someone else's mouth. And the chips are all over. Pretending options, I knew I would not get anyway. Do you have a model that is 100% satisfying? In taste, in color and even in shape.
The model? Oh there is. There is! Your competitors from your neighborhood do this. It is sold in a store next to my office. I bring now.
The newly cooked chief of the sausage shop looked at me with grief.
Will we make a new mix? In any case, he asked. I think he just composts our brains!
Do not be in a hurry, let’s check.
The sample brought by the customer did not present anything unusual. I twisted the depersonalized bottle and the edak, cut it off, tried it and thought:
“If he’s a gourmet, he’s rare,” he told him, “he’ll be ready for lunch tomorrow. One in one, in color and taste. Come in to tasting.
The next day, lunch began.
“Here’s the sausage,” I knocked onto a box of sausages, I said. - The appearance got exactly in grams and in centimeters, and you can taste. I am sure that they also hit, although the sausage is depersonalized, on the sample neither label nor composition. All were calculated by the deductive method and the method of thickness. Try it.
The client took a piece, smelled.
“The bouquet of spices is clearly not the same,” he said with doubt.
Try it, the bucket will open. All one in one.
Well, one in one, here and the salts exceeded. translated to the same. Absolutely shit! You can do absolutely nothing!
“Then you compare, compare, this is your sample,” I said, stretching him half a bottle. One in one!
You are what? It is a completely different thing, the smell and design are completely different, and smoking is normal! Bite from another piece and tasting, he said. Was it just as hard to do?! to
-No, not hard, I only had to change places on the sample your sample and the sausage that was produced here. And for the appearance to buy in the store the remaining eight buttons of your sample. So that the doubts will not overcome you. Here is the check.

I want a cat for the New Year!
Don’t worry, there will be an olive as always!

In 11th grade I liked my classmate, and shortly before the New Year I decided to arrange a romantic act. In general, every day I threw her in the pocket of the shoe chocolate with all sorts of notes, like you are cool, a cute smile and all that, but without a signature. For a while I managed to do this secretly from everyone, then I burned myself in front of two classmates. But it seemed to them a funny entertainment, and instead of embarrassing exposure, they became, so to speak, active observers of the show. Once they even helped me: the day I left to file papers to the universe or something like that, they threw a chocolate instead of me, the more confused my object of breathing and removed suspicions.



This is the last day before the winter vacation. I bought two chocolates. I took one during the day, as usual. And in the evening we had something like a morning, only an evening, all sorts of performances there, each class puts its play, all that. In general, in the evening, the school was full again, and I put on a second chocolate box with a note that broke the mask of anonymity. I don’t know what it was supposed to end in my dreams... Maybe she would throw in my arms, because I’m so good, I’m choking with chocolate)) But in reality, when I was about to go home, in the hallway a dumb-known guy meets (as it turned out later, the girl’s brother), clings me to the wall, takes my chest and says something like “Yes, stay away from Oksana, she is constantly complaining that you’re dominating her.” Without a handshake, nothing like that, he didn’t even raise his voice, but he did. This was happening in the hallway, many saw this very humiliating scene for me. Unfortunately, the girl did not share my feelings at all, so after the holidays I began to pretend that she does not exist. I was neither old nor terrible.

I remember someone throwing anonymous emails into my mailbox every day for a week. The letters contained short notes such as “I like you”, “I dream of you”, “You’re beautiful” etc. It was in the second half of the 1980s and I was 14 years old. Naturally, my friends and I were fucking out of curiosity. Finally, a letter appears in the box with an invitation to a date, where my secret exhilarator writes his name, age, how he will be dressed, date and time of the date. Anywhere except where we meet. I did not receive any more letters, and the secret remained unresolved. I would say hello for every case.

Shortly speaking, Vadik, you need to get it, so what is it?!))

It was 5 years ago. I brought my son to the kindergarten, and there the teacher asks me to clean their site, which for the night was filled with snow on my belt exactly, and my height is 195cm. I take a spade and go out to the venue and I understand that I will hurt to dig here, but then I got a brilliant idea of how to reduce my work and please the children. He began to dig passages in the form of a labyrinth. Somewhere in an hour managed and fled until they were forced to rework. And in the evening the educator was almost on her hands)) says the children when they went out to walk first frozen, and then with a whisper let's wear there barely for lunch and walk they began to walk much more willing until the spring))) and then somehow asked me what cartoons can be shown in the group in the evening, or they have a scarce choice, well I brought all the seasons of shrimp and shrimp of Sean. The children refused to go home in tears. In general, I had a huge authority then, indeed among the puzzles, but nevertheless.

In the universe played in “What? Where is? When is?“We had a very important tournament. It lasted two days. The first day we played, everything was fine, by the evening I had a temperature of 39. My parents told me I’t go anywhere tomorrow. And to replace no one, the application was submitted in advance, and I played well - I did not want to undermine the team. In general, in the morning I waited until my parents left, took pills and ran for a game. But this is not the point, as is clear from the title of the post. I went home, the temperature was again high, I went to bed, the cup was hidden under the bed. It looks like the mission is accomplished! Noooo tournament was shown on local TV, and how I was excited when my parents arranged the evening in front of the television and got, as it was, on this plot!

Late March, I go to work for my son to kindergarten, a little late.

I watch a car beating, a Toyota Mark 2, a girl driving, a car in a track buried. I approached her, shrugged her hand to the back, back, and then immediately forward. The car is heavy, rear drive. And so in the crack, 3-4 times pushed out. The accident caught me, I went along the house, I followed. It runs 60 meters and parks. I get out of the car...and from the passenger seat comes a guy, stronger than me.