bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107374
 26.12.2014
Probably something on the cover is written somewhere. Maybe genetics, maybe society has travelled through the brains. In general, when my wife and I went to the ultrasound, I hoped for the boy to the end. But... a girl. At first I even felt upset. But then the thought became accustomed, and when a healthy, strong and beautiful baby was born, it completely let go. I now have two daughters. And when a mother-in-law and a sister-in-law come (well, or two mothers / grandmothers with a cousin, as you like), I take up the striped robe and call myself a 'padi-shah'.
Although what the boy wanted to feel - the elderly went to dance. The Brazilian. "Capoeira" are called.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107373
 26.12.2014
I would like to pay a lot of money for my school in April.
XXX: All the ZP is there and will go.
If in other universes you study and work, then in mine you work and learn.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107372
 26.12.2014
Belka: I was today at DR with a friend in a Russian bath. There are a lot of rooms, as well as companies. Our time is over, and we will meet a crown of girls in new year's light costumes. "The Snowmen " was a man of 10. We were surprised with girls, like how creatively girls came to celebrate, and we were simply, almost family... and then our boys looked around and opened our eyes to the world. The shock hit us all.
Winnisepu: However, what a day of wonderful discoveries... How I would like to occasionally look at the world with your eyes. The Elves :(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107371
 26.12.2014
xxx: Why do we say "project"? The project is something limited by shame.
yyy: I would add "limited from all sides"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107370
 26.12.2014
Why then? I always imagined the Sleeping Beauty.
____________________________________________
Cinderella could even look at the pearl in advance. And then some unknown necrophil broke into someone else’s house – and there are no options... As one acquaintance said about the fairy tale "Rumpelštilchen" – "there is nowhere said that the king is young and beautiful or that the daughter of the miller is married to him".

In life somewhat more fans of the classic Mermaid meet. Who, once in love, it is necessary to give up his native element, move into another world, where every step is given pain, not have the opportunity to talk and be heard by someone - and sincerely rejoice for the loved one, when he confidently announces that he met the princess of his dreams. If you don’t like it, you don’t love it honestly enough. You don’t show love enough.
The story of the "Pearl", "Morozko" and the like was invented by Machechis. To lose their lives on them, humbly waiting for the fairy to come and give everything.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107369
 26.12.2014
The wolf feeds his feet. Usually the bears...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №107368
 26.12.2014
The film director Gennady Ivanovich Poloka remembers...
In 1967, during the filming of "Intervention" in Odessa, we lived in the hotel "Red" opposite the philharmonic. One June evening, it was my birthday, we sat, drank and walked, and in the philharmonic was a concert of one of our masters, almost Ostrach.
All the colour of Odessa, all the fathers of the city, the shadows, the underground millionaires came together.
The concert ended, the audience began to go out on the street, the noise-gam, taxis, trolley buses on Pushkinskaya come in...
And Volodya Vysotsky sits on the window and sings for us.
There was silence on the street. I look out the window: a thousand crowd stands in front of the philharmonic, the transport has stopped, everyone is listening to Vysotsky.
The orchestrates came out of the building of the philharmonic - in frakes, too, standing, listening.
And when Vysotsky finished singing, he said, “It’s all!“The crowd flocked...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №107367
 26.12.2014
As one head of the department says:
Women, unfortunately, get older, and students of third grade - never!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107366
 26.12.2014
Today I published a phrase at work, which immediately became a local memo. To the question "How do you do it?" he replied "They are shouting so that there is no time to shout. Yes and nothing, in principle"

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №107365
 26.12.2014
- I am afraid that in the traffic jams for three hours I will depend. An unusual butterfly. Collapse on the roads!
I didn’t think you could formulate so virtuously. The word "jopa" should be written with two words "L"!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107364
 26.12.2014
New Year’s Recommendations from the Hubble:
Drink with your laptop – drink vodka. Vodka is a diluted alcohol, if you are lucky, just dry and continue to work.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107363
 26.12.2014
In Moscow in the winter suddenly fell snow
> Mayor Sobyanin took the matter under his control
> weak
> when suddenly the snow fell, our measures did not go to work, so that traffic jams do not create.


[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107362
 26.12.2014
Verka just told me about a Vietnamese named Hui.
He explained on the board to the girl in love: the girl's name with a small letter + his name with a big = ♡. You will not argue...
And then in biology he had to translate the word "accumulation". He translated it. and Doha. Prepod was very happy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107361
 26.12.2014
Eighth week of pregnancy (first trimester)

Let’s ventilate the room too.
Go under the blanket or dress up.
I’ll go until I bite...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №107360
 26.12.2014
Everyone is different:

And nothing that is not here for literacy, but for humor? I’ll put the pluses of any funny quotation, even if there are 5 mistakes in each word.
____
I will put a minus to the most ridiculous quote, if you have to break the brain to understand its meaning, re-read eight times because of the absence of conspicuous and hell knows as written words.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №107359
 26.12.2014
How My Brain Works:
06:00 I want to sleep
13:30 I want to sleep.
23:00 I want to eat
Why not find out the reasons for the defeat of Sultan Bajazid I in the Battle of Angora?
What is the pathogen of Ebola?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107358
 26.12.2014
Not Albania, but Schipperia
________

How to live with this now? HDD

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107357
 26.12.2014
New Year is a time of discovery.
The bearded, healthy man who will play Santa for his three children in the morning is younger than me.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107356
 26.12.2014
xxx: Advertising on the main little smiled: "Easy holiday in Lake Baikal!"
So it is somewhere on the bottom without aqualance and with cement on the legs.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107355
 25.12.2014
Eat, pray, love, but please don’t post it all on Instagram.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna