bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №24058
 25.12.2009
Fighting for world peace and global warming is much easier than with your boss.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №24057
 25.12.2009
My American friend sent me my translation.

His name was Fleming and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, crawling on his poor field so that his family did not die of hunger, he heard a scream coming from the swamp. The farmer quickly abandoned this dull business and ran to see – who is screaming. A boy who drowned in dirt. The farmer saved the poor.

And the next day a luxurious carriage rushed to his barracks and from there went out to the dirty courtyard a fashionably dressed aristocrat for those years and presented himself as the father of the saved boy.

I want to pay you for saving my son’s life! Paphos stated
This noble man.
Of course, the poor but proud Scottish rejects the fee no less pathetically. At this point, the curious nose of the Scottish man is emerging from the cottage.

Is it your son? Ask the aristocrat.
“Yes,” replied the proud poor farmer.
Here is the way out! A clever Englishman, rubbing his fingers, proposes to give a farmer’s son an education no worse than his own. This was resolved.

The farmer’s son studied at the best medical school of his time.
In London and now we are known as Sir Alexander Fleming, who invented penicillin. Do you think that’s all? It is not the end.

The son of the aristocrat so successfully pulled out of the swamp, years later fell with pneumonia. Guess what saved his life... Well, penicillin. Do you want to know the name of the aristocrat? Lord Randolph Churchill, his son
Sir Winston Churchill.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №24056
 25.12.2009
The plate on the table is standing, and on the floor is lying.
The shoe is the opposite.
Why is?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №24055
 25.12.2009
XXL: borrowing money
XXX: Return to Nature
The xxx :)
YYY: No
YYY: There would be something to do shit.
Take the nature better.
YYY: smells
YYY: Get your money back
xxx: ahahahah dharoo ))))

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №24054
 25.12.2009
The tape:
During the protests against global warming in Copenhagen, 54 participants froze.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №24053
 25.12.2009
Life is like a skyscraper.
Someone goes to the end in the elevator, someone goes up on foot, someone stays on one floor...
Mugi: And only, fucking, I’m like a cracked Spider-Man, crawling through the windows on the sink...

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №24052
 25.12.2009
[Shade_V 23.12.2009 12:17]
Anton (15:10:13 23/12/2009)
Where did Pushkin spend his childhood?>translate to ENGLISH
Shade_V (15:10:37 23/12/2009)
Gde Puwkun Provel Childhood
Anton (15:10:13 23/12/2009)
What was Pushkin’s mother’s name?
Shade_V (15:10:37 23/12/2009)
reliable assembly
Anton (15:10:13 23/12/2009)
English
Shade_V (15:10:37 23/12/2009)
Hope of Osipovna
Anton (15:11:17 23/12/2009)
thank you!
Shade_V (15:11:23 23/12/2009)
Go to ;)

[ + 90 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24051
 25.12.2009
Mantihorka
I barely pulled my eyes today, until I realized that there was no lens in it, and that I lost it in the morning. And you can see that all day was normal... great power of suggestion :)

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №24050
 25.12.2009
1: Anka, here we are communicating with you for so long, and I still have you in the list of contacts, and usually on the third day the girls remove me, and that probably means something... @}->
2: I did not add you.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №24049
 25.12.2009
The man in the cafe watched the meeting of two friends, the march was not seen, one of them is pregnant at a decent time:

PS: Is that what?
Category: Coffee
PS: and under it.? to
Tagged with: skin
And under the skin!? to
Internal organs of all kinds
PSP is fucking! I mean, you relaxed or someone tried!?!? to
WWE is fucking! I relaxed once and some tried!! to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №24048
 25.12.2009
by Grom13
How to get a Finnish visa?

by Grom13
Ride at speed 200 under the sign 30

by Grom13
Showing on all cameras!

by Grom13
As I said, it is a prison.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №24047
 25.12.2009
It’s also fun to play with boots.
Sometimes it’s interesting to compete with artificial intelligence.
Sole: I’d be in your place with intelligence and artificial fucking... and only then.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №24046
 25.12.2009
Natalya: Why don’t you tell me what happened on that Great Saturday? to keep intrigue in our relationship?)
Trigladit: her
Trigladit: to preserve our relationship

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24045
 24.12.2009
Class at the University of Biology of Individual Development, theme: "development of sexual products in male individuals", in the audience are girls 17-19 years old, teacher young assistant. End of class.

Teacher: in the next class survey... so that spermatogenesis from teeth jumped away!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №24044
 24.12.2009
Alexander wrote:
In the morning on the ONT said that I am well today by the horoscope...
Oksana wrote:
And you who?
Alexander wrote:
Sasha

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №24043
 24.12.2009
With whom do you live?
My mother and thousands of bacteria underneath the toilet.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №24042
 24.12.2009
Who are the two acrobat brothers?? to
Photoshop and Illustrator Fuck!

[ + 72 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24041
 24.12.2009
I want home food, but I don’t want to cook. Interestingly, if you call a prostitute, and ask her to cook, well, pay her time accordingly. Has anyone tried?

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №24040
 24.12.2009
I paid in English. I was late for him, because before him he gave another longer than needed. I flew into the office and from the threshold I said to the teacher: "Put me an account". Well, as usual, there was a bunch of debts in everyone, and I included, and here I see that the group members are already sitting, they are teaching something, they repeat, I think, well, I will sit next to them, and I go to the board, so that he says that I need to give him there, I look at him, he looks at me, and here he says, "What is up, let me count." I quickly got a check-in, it was scheduled and I left, accompanied by the gaze of the ugly group members :)

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №24039
 24.12.2009
Verhoyansk is one of the coldest places on Earth, the coldest city in the world. The lowest temperature recorded here is −67,8 °C. Verhoyansk is called the Cold Pole of the Northern Hemisphere.
AkirA: They say that when you exhale, ice dust forms.
You can play in the snow without pulling your hands out of your pockets.
AkirA: ah.. spit someone's thread in the eye... and the eye broke out...
Gucha: AkirA, the Verkhyan Killers are so harsh, 4th kill their victims with their Plevk...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna