bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №12926
 07.12.2008
The poor polar fox will rise late in the morning,
And he will come to those who took money from Sberbank

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №12925
 07.12.2008
What is Lenin? It’s when you get up from bed and you get out of the phone.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №12924
 07.12.2008
The topic pleased: on the main page of RBC one of the news: Fraudsters sold the land on Rublevka for 208 million rubles.

And then the banner on top is huge:"Seek the land?")))))

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №12923
 07.12.2008
From the forum on drom.ru:
A friend with Peter in the ass wrote :)) A colleague Andrew calls from a neighboring room to his friend, who is also called Andrew. He mistakes the number and comes to me.
and yes?
And then Andrew?
For a moment, I’ll call him.
Right, we have one Andrew at the company, I followed him and went. In the neighboring room. I come and see what he’s talking on the phone (how do I know what I’m doing with!) is
I say:
And then Andrew! There you are on the phone. I have me.
He whispers and answers, pressing the phone with his hand:
I’m here now, let them wait.
I go to myself and take my phone. I say:
“You know, he’s talking on the other line now, can you wait a little?
Yes well well.
I put my phone next to it and continue to work. A minute. Three. Andrei is still waiting for himself at the phone. Then he can’t stand, puts on the phone, comes to me. He sees a pipe next to the device - it means that he is still waiting. He raises :
But?
The short hips. He puts the phone. He looked at me for a while with thought.
Were you not just there?
Where is?
by phone.
Have you ever felt like an absolute fool? With someone at the same time?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №12922
 07.12.2008
in the sea (see Yandex) someone laid out a screen of tasks from a computer science textbook for the second class. Drawing a whale, a booty, a piano, a penguin and a train. It is necessary to find a common characteristic of the group.

Killed a comment: "These items cannot be shaved".

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №12921
 07.12.2008
The hand of the market is not so invisible, the middle finger is clearly visible.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №12920
 07.12.2008
By youth years had to be a few years on ships type

"The Sea of the River". As I remember, from the Baltics they passed through the Kilsk Canal, came out in the

The North Sea took its course to England. A few days in the fog.

We encountered a riverboat, from our same shipyard, chief,

Master, the strikers - everyone knows each other, contacted by racy

"Hello-Hello" there is all that. They ask where they have gone.

and mol? The watchman answers: "Britten" (I don’t remember exactly, I guess,

Silence in the air. Then from the mines so deliberately report: "Eh

No hell, we’re going there too!"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №12919
 07.12.2008
There is a domestic and wandering cat on the street.

The housewife asks:

“Listen, brother, who is feeding you?

No one, I feed myself.

Do you know how to open cats?! to

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №12918
 07.12.2008
Instructions for bypassing the protection of GTA 4 on one of the trackers

In short, do as I say and the game starts:

1st Install the game, go to its folder.
2nd Delete the file.
Three Restart the windows. If Vista, then turn off and turn on only in 10 minutes!!! to
4 is Open the notebook, write Haked by Russia, then three gaps and Not Fake!.
5 is You save in the echo format under the name of GTA 4. Letters T and A must be entered on the Russian layout!
6 is Go to the Internet, whoever IS downloads Mozilla, whoever Mozilla - the opposite. Go to the GTA 4 website. Update the page 5 times.
7 is Open the task manager and there we remove the task of the browser. This is very important!!! to
8 is Now we move the folder with the game to the second disk, who has one, will have to re-format.
9 is Write our echoes in the game folder.
10 is We open PowerDVD, and through it we run the echo file, before this must delete Winamp, who has it.
11 is All, the game is started!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №12917
 06.12.2008
The crisis. The boss calls a nice office manager, gives her a letter of orders and a pen. There is only one line on the sheet: "No fuck can be fired".

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №12916
 06.12.2008
Open question to Putin:
Looking at your speech, this is the question:
Where in Moscow housing is sold at the price of 42-44 thousand per square meter.
With respect to Nikita Ermolov.

Apply a thumb, maybe it’s here.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №12915
 06.12.2008
Wonderful thing computer...Sitting for five minutes – an hour and a half has passed...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №12914
 06.12.2008
Someone in our office drove a dog out of the street. We decided that this is our new employee because:
She was late for an hour and a half.
2) sitting nifiga does not do
3) grabbed the cookie, now it is sneezing and trying to fall asleep

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №12913
 06.12.2008
from Blog
I lie down quietly, I wake up slowly, I turn on my stomach... And here suddenly!!! Bite for Friday!! to

I look at the cat with the question in sight, “What are you doing, Offgel?” and he looks at me with the already prepared comprehensive answer in his eyes: “I am a Offgel!”and "

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №12912
 06.12.2008
> have you seen him? He can write on Tamagochi Chita for immortality.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №12911
 06.12.2008
As the saying goes, “You can’t get into the same thing twice.”

and the..."

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №12910
 06.12.2008
http://talks.guns.ru/forummessage/37/75632-2.html



How is it possible to fly on soldier helmets?

Maybe, but very low. But everything is in order.



of Arkhangelsk. KGB of the USSR. The spring training. Field of Miracles

Complex Border Belt (CPP) near the fireplace.

About 50 meters. Our fourth training course. Weighs on this.

The CPC itself. Many are in the direct sense of this word.

What kind of beast is this, KP?

O-o-o... It’s been almost seventeen years since I can remember everything on my scars.

obstacles on this track. The bridge to the tower. From the tower of

The ship's rope on the wall. Down the water pipeline.

Obstacle to Burrell. 20 meters under a clutch wire -

Obstacle to spotting. Then the standard river and labyrinth. The small wall C

Entrance to the chain of browsers. Jumping into a bunch of sand. The exploded bridge. The first

Throwing a grenade and jumping into a brick wall window. The Second Throw and Pull

through a closed gap with an exit into the fox of nora. A burning barrier.

After (my death) a high wall before a pit with water. By the brick through

Running 50 meters along the active mannequins. Glad for my year.

But they were completely destroyed, and there was only a whirlwind. Apparently everything.

I forgot to add a little bit. Running clothes by three.

of man. There is no time as such, thirty minutes as if not time.

The strip has to be overcome. The account is live. The survivor is a hero.

I am upset, let’s start again. Now exactly all.

So then. Our fourth training course. It weighs on the same CPP. Fighters of

They are joyfully trying to survive on this same track. Training officers and

Our own servants are actively helping us in this simple business.

What do they help?

Good advice and a kind word.

The wall is yours again! Maybe it will go down!

Just try to get stuck in the window!! by Zee***

Come down the fucker!

Mostly, the aid comes in the form of an automatic turn on the loose,

explosive package, smoke barrel or other chemicals. especially talented people,

The officer has already gone through the entire lane. This also happened. by

Finally, he says so gently to talent:

Next time I’ll shoot. A funeral at the nearest lake. You are

Understood everything?! to

It terribly helps. The main thing in the evening is to realize that the day is not in vain.

Tomorrow there is something to do and there is something to remember at home. already asleep,

Dreaming of hanging a sergeant in a sort and fucking a colonel.

The daughter. (Even if the colonel is not married and has no children.) It is a lyric.

So then. All in business. There are routine lessons.

And here in the midst of this routine, our fathers commanders found for themselves

and entertainment. There was a tube digged into the ground. Initially unclear

What is. If you throw an explosive package into this pipe, and the pipe itself is closed with a bank.

From under detonators, it becomes similar to a mine. Comic effect and

terribly noisy. The officers liked it too. And when they (our servants)

Unattended, a miracle happened.

Fuck all that.

And what?

“Look what I can do,” one of our sergeants said proudly.

The man burned a package. People have moved to our

The Hero. He puts it on the ground and covers it with a helmet. To the general surprise,

The sergeant sits on the helmet. You will not believe. When the bomb exploded, our

Munchausen jumped on this helmet almost half a meter! Witnesses are crying

of jealousy.

In to give!

This miracle interested everyone. The people of Walmart have stumbled upon it.

The Presentation.

Our sergeants in turn made these wonderful jumps and flights to the

the casket. Everyone liked the process. Until the second miracle happened.

Do you remember the story of the unhappy man from the Titanic?

- Yes to me with my luck or whistle broken catch or shark

and deaf.

The last one in the box was such a lucky man. Was the DSH a little longer?

Whether the cable has been removed, no one knows. The lucky sitting.

on the helmet and waiting for flight. And it all does not happen. He sits and waits. and nothing.

Unknown is. Then he goes up to find out the reason for the delay.

The jump. It slowly rises up, surprised.

The jump was done. To my taste, it was the highest jump.

in the casket. The most noisy. Such a great acceleration for our lucky man.

I gave my helmet. JS has burned. The lucky man got a fifth.

A standard 3.5kg helmet with explosive force.

The cry was like the assault of a bartender under Zmerenko by drunk Hussars in the

of 1812.

Then we carried the unfortunate four kilometers into the squad. Every step was taken

He has hell pain. He was barely sitting down when the doctors said he was

Eggs also have hematomas. They were so joking. The man calmed his way.

Nothing terrible. You will live. You will not have children.

Our hero will stand.

Do not insist, the sick. It is harmful to worry.

Is he no longer a man? Interested in our boss.

The educational pledge.

Anything is possible if the process starts.

Now you have one path.

Where to? The client stands.

Do not cuddle. In the blue.

The sergeant wept.

Nothing will come out. They will not even be accepted in such a shit.

The medical service reassures.

The patient lost consciousness. Do not be afraid of happiness.

The next three days, about what our Munchausen is doing a great need knew.

Not only our border, but all the surrounding houses. Probably local

We thought dissidents were tortured in our part. In the bath, we had a chance.

I watched the ass of our eagle flowing through all the flowers of the rainbow.

An unusual spectacle. The northern lights are more beautiful. As they say, in

Taste and Color.



We did not want to fly on helmets anymore. I do not advise you. So, even in

Pediatrics will not accept.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №12909
 06.12.2008
At the rehearsal of the orchestra, the conductor is dissatisfied with the shooter’s play:

If a musician can’t play anything, he gets two sticks.

He becomes a drummer.

Theatre whisper from the orchestra:

And if he does not handle the drum, one stick is taken from him.

He becomes a conductor.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №12908
 05.12.2008
Frank: Anna did not give up on the right.))))
Nekros: What has collapsed? Practice or theory?
Frank: Practice)))) She struck the pedestrian)))))))

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №12907
 05.12.2008
The little boy:
In GUVD works an uncle named Rustam Bishmenikov
Big such a bearded uncle here he enters the department and there the secretary ads "they are being sought by the militia" all kinds of Chechen terrorists there
He approaches behind and gives out:"The girl you are looking for? Will you find what you want to do?"
The girl was then taken from a two-metre closet by three!

– is

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