bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121994
 18.12.2015
Anton_Peplov: Cheap mathematical analysis textbooks use logarithms identical to natural logarithms instead.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121993
 18.12.2015
Grey is the unit of the absorbed dose of ionizing radiation.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121992
 18.12.2015
Mikhalkov was right: “Sunshot” did not get into the shortlist of “Oscar”"

Well, even to Mikhalkov began to come that his scribes are shit.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121991
 18.12.2015
X: Do not exceed, because E = mv^2, and doubling the speed confirms the energy. And don’t forget to turn on the lights.

Wow: I am embarrassed to ask, to what speed do you speed up the city, that to calculate the energy decided to use this formula?

Zzz: This formula will help you in a closed system to calculate the kinetic energy for any speed of any non-rotating body. Honestly yours Isaac Newton.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121990
 18.12.2015
You know, when JJ said he would try to take care of the ZV universe, I didn’t think it meant, “I’m going to plagiarize with terrible force.”

The atmosphere is transmitted. Blasters shoot, ships fly, assailants smash, and Han Solo sharps.

But Matthew, it was all! Why did Lucas be able to take the prequels without self-copying, and Abrams “niassil” it?

The dark lord in the mask is a nervous, long-lined and earring Jewish boy. This, shit, is not even funny.

Z is.And yes, thank you Abrams that the Negro is not the son of Skywalker. Yippidy is.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121989
 18.12.2015
I can't pass the express intelligence test.
I don’t know what to press to answer.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121988
 18.12.2015
The World Association of Procrastinators has not yet been able to gather for its First (Founding) Congress.

...And the notification of potential delegates is always postponed for later.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №121987
 18.12.2015
This story was told by a driving instructor. In the words of the latter: "The situation: behind the driver, a girl is driving. The road is four lane - two in one, two in the other. There are no cars, no one interferes. She is driving between the tracks. I ask :

Tell me, on which track are we going?

I hear a brilliant answer:

You are on the right, I am on the left.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121986
 18.12.2015
“I was called, called the security service of Oshtabank and informed that my cards would be blocked before my identification, for which they asked to take the card in hand and do something with it, as well as dictate data. I told them that I am not a client of the bank. The caller was not confused, and in exchange they asked me if I had a card from another bank.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121985
 18.12.2015
A colleague told me.
It happened that he injured his leg. The doctor broke his wound and sent him home. The next day, I decided to make a bandage on my own, and remembering the words of the doctor, he said, "If it dries, then dilute manganese, put your foot in the stool and pour it." He found a manganese at home, poured water into the pelvis, put his foot there and sat happy, waiting for the bandage to unfold.
The wife comes from work, looks at all this and asks:
What are you doing?
I wait for the bandage to melt, pouring the manganese.
What a fool? Painting of Easter Eggs.
I went to the kitchen, and found exactly the same bag of manganese...

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121984
 18.12.2015
You also need to take a car.
XXX: I will buy a camouflage
YYY is norm. You will load in my body and drive.
xxx: I will ride you on the car while you ride the car

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121983
 18.12.2015
Meps: Soon the installer of the dozen will come in the spam attachments in the form of the file "my_year-old_photos.eh".

In the distant future:
Admin responds to the phone call: “What? In the accounting installation of the 10th wind??? Fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Or I was scared.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121982
 18.12.2015
As our physics teacher said about the fact that we don’t listen to anything at lectures: “You get information into one ear, but it doesn’t leave the other. Why is? Because the sound in the vacuum does not spread."

[ + 20 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121981
 18.12.2015
Fuck, today in the store saw a tile of his favorite bitter chocolate 30 centimeters long. I picked it up and bought it. And then I came home and began to think, and wearing me so much chocolate? The brand although favorite, but not in the same, fucking, quantities. It didn’t even get into the refrigerator immediately.
Marketers, swallows, their bread eat, apparently, not in vain. and s...

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121980
 18.12.2015
This is what religion prevented this staff with 30 years of experience. to check candidates for the position of aitishnik in advance, simply by making a request to the previous job? If a person has done the ugliness of getting fired now, then most likely he has done so before. The same goes for Alcatraz. Or does this'sharashkin' office only take people with no experience to pay less? So what can be the quality claims for a newbie? So the job is not suitable for the staff.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121979
 18.12.2015
And in our city about the steepness of the cafe can be judged by the presence of hot water in the toilet.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121978
 18.12.2015
1 + 1 = 3
What nonsense are you writing?
Why is stupidity. This is a drama in a brief exposition. A boy loved a girl and one day, in the thrill of passion, they forgot about protection. I am pregnant and now there are three of them.
You are a mathematician.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №121977
 18.12.2015
I heard you were married. Why suddenly?

I didn’t want to go on bordels.

And now...?

I want now!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121976
 18.12.2015
Have you read your horoscope?
I never read the horoscope.
xxx: so is it
I don’t read spoilers.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121975
 18.12.2015
On behalf of all the fans and fans of ZV, I appeal to those who have already seen 7 episodes...No spoilers are needed, let everyone go and be horrified by what was seen...

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