bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137401
 29.12.2016
I read, I read all these sex-related blunders, and I thought, how useful it would be if the gender and age of the writer were displayed at each replica by a machine. It would be immediately clear with whom it makes sense to have a conversation, and with whom it is useless due to the discrepancy of age and life experience. The rise of hormones at a young age is a dangerous thing.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №137400
 29.12.2016
Well, along with weapons and driving time to introduce another commission:
1st psychiatrist
2nd Venereologist
Three O(on)drying the condom for a time (on itself or on the cucumbers - depends on gender).
4 is Theory (construction and physiology of a person in the right places)
6 is Pre-fitting on the mannequins.
7 is The culinary minimum.
8.9 and...
A date without a certificate is considered invalid.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137399
 29.12.2016
Omg, people, where does this purga about "should be given" and "cannot be given"???? Do you want sex with him? Significance is given. Do not want? Do not give a sign.
Just like three pennies, where does it come from in sex??? There is only one low, imho, that is to force. And if all the participants in the process are adult and voluntary, why limit yourself artificially?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137398
 29.12.2016
"This is a small picture, please add.
Drawing to Dali?
You are a designer"

In this case, the comrade wanted a picture of Dali on the visit card, the reduced version went vertically, but left a large empty field horizontally.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137397
 29.12.2016
The far summer of 2011. I changed clothes, changed clothes and went home. At the time, as a young professional, I dressed simply, adhering to a sporty style. Jeans, shoes, backpacks, clothes with a cap were the basis of my unfashioned wardrobe. Under the eyes circles, the eyes themselves are red. I go down in the subway and here I am stopped by employees, then like the police. Verification of documents. I found my passport at home and no other documents. Ask to open the backpack. They asked themselves, there were shoes and shape in the laundry. After the discovery of the shirt with the inscription "ambulance" in the whole back at once bored. One even remembered me and apologized. We took his partner with a heart attack from the workplace.
I made the conclusion that it was time to change the style and look at yourself in the mirror after the change.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137396
 29.12.2016
SSD drive 120GB for sale
XHH: On the photo is 240 written, a fake disk what?
Father: It was my fault, I took the photo from the net and looked at it. 120 is indicated. Sorry to!
Zzzz: Half the grandfather sold already :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137395
 29.12.2016
There are often jokes about private studio shutdowns. The fucking! Well, I also watch porn, and I do not remember the music from the screenshot, apparently jokes those who are on it and "end" view >_<

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137394
 29.12.2016
And about the original quote, where a chemistry teacher poured petroleum with samples into the toilet... Well, either it was someone’s wet fantasies, or (I hope) she was fired quickly.

There were such geniuses in the 90s! The former pioneers of something-to-something, the skillers, were only pathetic to denounce the offspring of the communist movement, and when they caught holes in the teaching staff for unwantedness, they could not have so drained!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137393
 29.12.2016
How to get excited before shooting (I am a photographer, talking about the moment when I already came to the studio, waiting for the client):
Get a camera.
Try to turn it on, understand that it is not on.
Deposit the bricks.
Turn the camera in your hands and see that there is no battery in it.
Add more bricks.
Remember that the battery in the pocket of the backpack, where in a hurry was thrown after charging
Insert an accu.
Turn on the camera.
Remember that there was a backup camera in the backpack all that time.
But I met the client with such a genuinely joyful smile, with which not every bride looks at the bridegroom at the wedding.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137392
 29.12.2016
>>> ooo.... earned audio inputs on the front panel
>>> there is a button in the settings - called "Open the entries on the front panel". Guess what she is doing?
>>> it includes them!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137391
 29.12.2016
As the pharmacists say, all diseases are from Nurgl, and only syphilis from Slaanesh.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №137390
 29.12.2016
I wait for the moment when I will start earning a penny enough to fill my basket with extra coins. Sasha 28 years old

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137389
 29.12.2016
As one famous passenger said, “It is better to sneeze a hundred times than to sneeze once.”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137388
 29.12.2016
Briefly about Moscow. Once returned from Domodedovo on the MKAD to the Dmitrovsky highway. My wife and daughter have already settled in a hotel in Turkey, and I was all driving.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137387
 29.12.2016
Construction of the Zenit Arena.
Stukatur Farhod went to the Malar brigade. The transfer is estimated at €30 million.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137386
 29.12.2016
Assassin's Creed has failed in the US.

XXX: There with the script

I have to wait for the patch then XD

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137385
 29.12.2016
Horowitz: I love you. We are created for each other.
I’m not married, I don’t meet my boys.
I also don’t meet with married men. You see how similar we are.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №137384
 29.12.2016
In the comments to the photo of the girl from the back:
May I, as in the case of other modern art, simply lack a brochure that describes the author’s main idea, which he tried to convey with the mountain of garbage called “installation”?
In the comments to the photo of the girl from the back with minimal clothes:
-1610 likes, and recognition of the author photo artist?! to
I feel incredibly dumb right now, but please explain to me what you’ve all seen here, except a banally thin girl, with a mediocre figure, in disgusting socks and disgusting pants, with a hairstyle remotely stylized as Japanese and infinitely far away from those works of art that were worn by geisha?
Oh yeah yes. There is a shadow on the wall. And, please please, "ch"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX It’s in art I don’t understand much, but in the world of ass I could have become some sort of sommelier.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137383
 29.12.2016
Layk: But those fools who advise to “go out of the comfort zone” understand that in Russia this “comfort zone” is not stupid in the country at all?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137382
 29.12.2016
= congratulating (strongly aged) said: "With a new you 1917 year"=

You are optimistic as I look at you.
Well, if you agreed. And if not?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna