My cat was sitting on a lit candle. Now the whole house smells of burnt wool, and I need to remove the wax from his ass.

After another price hike, the family of the deputies for six months was pressed with black caviar

Remember the fun guys? Another magazine such was "Awesome Pictures", Samoedelkin, Neznajka, Buratino, Chipolino and others. The main thing was a pencil. In the 60s, a couple of cartoons were filmed about them.
And every time I look at the leading jury of KVN Ernst, I can't get rid of the feeling that on the screen in the image of Ernst the reincarnation of the pencil from the cartoon about the funny humans...

Homeopathy instead of physiology.

What is the way to make a tragedy out of it? And a housewife in the farm is needed, and the doll can be passed on to someone.
Here my acquaintance has a penis instead of a fallos grown - and nothing, alive, married recently.

I am looking for a suitable camera.
YYY: and why? I have a 10-year-old button bell, I don't know the sadness. I wish you did not know him. “I have thrown you down there, look at it (at night).” Leave iPhones to children after 1991 The real Indian makes his food with onions, not dynamite.
XXX: Why do you have a new button? Better an old good wiring, with a disk set! And then it starts: I dropped you the layout, see when you get to the comp. No one takes the phone, no one is at home. I’ll call you back if you really need it!

I and my girlfriend went corresponding, and I accidentally sent one of the messages to the chat of my swimming team. That means 19 people got my photo where I’m standing naked with everything I can see. Worst of all, I got more compliments from them than ever from my girlfriend.

I got into a small accident. No one was injured, and nothing would happen, but the man I entered was my father. Everyone thought he died eight years ago.

From the discussion of the post "How programmers are no longer allowed to do anything" on the Hebra:
Yes, just each of these “entrepreneurs”, “managers”, “marketologists” and other giftless and fat-eating people understands how insignificant he is compared to the average programmer. They try to move everybody. The abundance of engineering education, abstract thinking, extraordinary analytical abilities and the broadest horizon - all this allows the engineer to easily (compared to ordinary mortals) understand anything. We penetrate the essence of things with our sharp mind, but they are hostages of their countless misconceptions and cognitive distortions. Stop being embarrassed, acknowledge the obvious: we are better. Compared to us, they are like monkeys.
The Green Goblin said.
It exploded in the voice. I'll probably keep it in memory, I'll read it again in dark times :)

One day I was very interested in the lesson.

We talked about Rome. I adore Rome and consider it to be the peak of human civilization – so I was hot about how much we took from a great nation. As an example he cited Roman gestures and said that the Roman gesture is still used in school. Which? The students had trouble. I proposed to recall the gesture “I ask for words” and told how the Senate’s gesture turned into a hand-raise in schools.

Is this a Roman salute? One student asked me.
“Well, you,” I replied, “this is the Roman salute.

And showed it.

At this moment, as I stood in front of a class of ten with my hand spread, I had a lot of thoughts in my head — and all of them were about how I was wrong.

My wife and I went to the other end of the country for a swinger party where nobody thought we would know us. My parents thought the same.

There is no separate boiler in hell for bikers. There are just polite traits that cancel a trip to heaven precisely at the moment when it has just begun to grind to the opposite edge of the boiler, and there are ordinary ones who first do not take the tube for half an hour, then, when the time is left, they joyfully agree, and when he grinds through all the boiling resin to the other edge of the boiler, they turn off the phone and shut down before their nose.

I went today to buy winter shoes, and next to the couch, Daddy and little son dressed shoes:
and Dad:
This is what you like, right? As an example, they sit on their feet.
The Son:
Oh class, I like it!
Daddy, helping to put on the second shoe:
The price is normal, then we will take them.
My son is in shock:
What, and all that? Will we go nowhere to look? I will always go to the store with you!

XXX: What is political prostitution?
yyy: This is when a calendar of Christmas fast is published in the newspaper entitled "Komsomolskaja Pravda".

We decided to go for the second child. A twin was born. They gave us the heat. Orals during the day, and especially at night. It was very hard. That night, my husband and I managed to sleep them. He went to the toilet. I wanted to drink. I sit in the kitchen quietly in the dark. He goes out, I am not with the children. Not in another room. I didn’t see the kitchen in the dark. No to the toilet. So it runs through the apartment. Then he runs into the kitchen, turns on the light, his eyes blink: "I thought you had escaped!" Really scared. But to confess, I had that thought.

I went today to buy winter shoes, and next to the couch, Daddy and little son dressed shoes:

This is what you like, right? As an example, they sit on their feet.

I like the class, I like the class.

A father helping to put on the second shoe:

Father: - The price is normal, then we will take them.

My son is in shock, what is it? Will we go nowhere to look? I will always go to the store with you!

XXX I want to sleep.
yyy: Funny that this great hit was produced by the person who originally made the rapper’s beat.
I want to eat more, thank you.

aaa: Yesterday a student, seeing KOH, said "koch". I tried for a long time to understand what he was about.

BBB: That’s if he went from chemists to meteorologists! The cumulative clouds are referred to as Cu (qumulus), peristaltic-layered SS (cirostrumAtus) and so on. You see "Sc" – and this is not "scandia"! This is the "Strategy"! Hello to the meteorologists! Unforgettable weather for them!

To admit, I thought that the story about Professor Svitelsky and a quote from Belinsky was another internet joke.
No, it turned out to be true.
Book "Hillarovsky", Mitrofanov A.G., "The Young Guard", Moscow, 2008
The quote:
andquot;
It was worse with the body itself. The poet Koltsov wrote about this critic Belinsky: "Theatre we have, and so ugly that it is ugly to be in it: men are ugly, and women are ugly. They play all the same tragedies, dramas, comedies, vodevils, operas, melodrams, ballets and all sorts of other things. “Revisors” and “Hamlets” are nothing. The fees are good. With as much risk as possible, we have a lot to win.”
One could blame Koltsov for some bias, but the Koltsov address himself, Visarian Belinsky, in case attested the same Voronezh Theatre even more strictly:
These are the words of Belinsky.
Ura to! I finally found a quote on the internet that actually took place! and :)

The suspicions were very plausible, and the excuses were extremely suspicious.

For a long time I was going to share, and here our Bundescol literally pushed...

It was a teaching lesson that life gave me and my classmates in the seventy-eighth year.

Our history teacher suddenly fell down the Komsomol line (needed somewhere) right in the middle of the quarter, and we naturally instantly relaxed, because the aunt of the historian in the school was much softer than San Sanicha. However, the director showed a surprising diligence and almost immediately brought the replacement of a new player from the side.

My grandfather arrived in the class at the age of 70. On the outside he was intelligent, something like Basilashvili from the Autumn Marathon, only twenty years older.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember his name, so I’ll call him grandfather.

So, grandfather decided to sense the level of knowledge of his new family and started with a terrible pedagogical mistake - said that you should not be afraid, because. In order not to obscure the acquaintance, he will not put two. Here the gentlemen with the ice immediately relaxed - they went out to the board, but did not bother themselves and the public with the answers, but friendlyly to the newcomer that such complicated things he asks had not yet passed. Grandfather, even a little upset and as if in search of a way out of the impasse to somebody from the eternal twins suggested that if he wrote on the board columns of fifteen dates and can name what happened in the specified year, he will get in the long row of his lambs at once a whole four!

You can write absolutely any dates, but only in chronological order!
The smell of the rare balloon in the air! Four points in fifteen dates. The offer was so tempting that the hand standing in front of the board itself grabbed. After the strict Sanitch, it was a "golden residence", immediately a couple, the most hasty classmates, offered the teacher to exchange their columns with his four. My grandfather agreed, and the work was over.

Our duo wrote between a dozen and a half dates and 1961, he meant Gagarin's flight, but in the joyful atmosphere of the "golden fever" he decided to joke and added to the words about the conquest of the Cosmos and the message that he was born in the same year. This "discovery" was met with an explosion of peers, but the grandfather unexpectedly praised him and advised for the future the rest also not to be embarrassed and include the dates of birth of parents, grandparents, as well as other important personal and family dates in the general chronology. The word grandfather kept - all the participants of the ride got their four.

For the next lesson, for the same estimate, it was necessary to write and explain forty dates, and a couple of weeks later the entire board was covered with columns of dates. The chronology was handed over to us, though with battles, but every day.

Then I suddenly made a discovery for myself that my grandmother in 1917 was 8 years old, and they married my grandfather before the very collectivization... Forty-first - a mother in the second class - the Germans in Simferopol, the robbers, the policemen stuck in the shower of the red classmate together with the whole family and with the baby - the Jews... The story came to life, became tangible and turned into one multi-faceted whole.

It was a simple and brilliant reception of the Master – everyone was able to feel a part in the life of the whole country and saw themselves in common with their own and neighboring grandparents.

It is a pity that there is no such teacher in the New Urengoi, and not only.