bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122435
 30.12.2015
The new year is on the nose, and they are here gender joke blowing up. New Year’s shit!
Well there is about natural vs artificial trees, about petards, Chinese horoscopes or what new year fig.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122434
 30.12.2015
Zombie vegetarians eat only cometers.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122433
 30.12.2015
To all who miraculously survived after the "wreck". Don’t be confused, you just never had a brain.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №122432
 30.12.2015
There was a heavy storm in the summer. Mom shares a story about the destruction with her friend, telling that the lightning hit the same place four times in the history of the house.
The acquaintance:
- Gaiaal, you need to put an icon in the house, or not enough.
Mother :
Maybe a thunderstorm?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122431
 30.12.2015
I saw in the pharmacy "Vitamines for men leading an active lifestyle", on the box is drawn a puppy with hats in the hand.
I read the contraindications:
Individual intolerance
pregnancy
Breast Feeding

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №122430
 30.12.2015
We spent the weekend in MSK.
So what, is it backwards?
After performing a job, I went to the museum, there my jacket with a passport inside took (I think so by mistake) another person, leaving a similar one.
Thoughts on Himself
XHHH: I put on a new one. I was sent through people my border, I flew by him
ууу: Uzhosnach > < You need a barbecue, on a belt
I need brains.
Tag: in the head

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122429
 30.12.2015
Mercury is six times sweeter than sugar.
It helps with obesity.
Daedrot: Forever

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122428
 30.12.2015
“I found a bearded snowflake in the store there on Sunday to buy cognac. I won’t go there again until spring.
Snowballs are very fashionable! by J.
and yes. She said that when she was Santa, she made 3,000 a night, and when she changed her snowball dress, she began to make 7,000.
Well here, you see! You are not in the trend :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122427
 30.12.2015
I go to a computer store, I see a compact system with a horizontal layout on the shelf, I catch my thoughts - here we went back to the IBM PC.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122426
 30.12.2015
I understand correctly that advice on the upbringing of children and marital life is given by childless single men?

A faithful husband and loving father.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122425
 29.12.2015
We survived all Monday 2015! Ura is

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122424
 29.12.2015
By the way, here men worry that women get pregnant from them without permission. Why don’t you do vasectomy? There will no longer be children. Remove your irresponsible DNA from future generations.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122423
 29.12.2015
If you want to get rid of the corpse by pouring it into a concrete foundation plate, and you have absolutely no time to agree on the place of laying the corpse with the chief construction engineer, then in order to avoid prolongation during the operation of the building, the following recommendations will be useful for you:
- choose for laying less responsible flights - up to 4m;
Place the body in the middle of the slope along the support;
- reinforce the upper armor of the plate at the rate of 1 square cm of armor per 1 m of armor in the cross-direction above the body for each centimeter of height in the pelvic area of the body lying on the back;
If the deceased is heavily stuck with a fresh shell, and the thickness of the plate is less than 600mm, it is not recommended to use deep vibrators in the thickness of concrete above the grave - the shells can, mixed with the concrete mixture, rise to the surface and form characteristic spots. Do you need it?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №122422
 29.12.2015
If you are in a strange city and lost - do not despair.
Find the nearest building, choose any Tajik you like and
Wait for prayer time. The side where the head of the Tajik will be turned -
the east.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №122421
 29.12.2015
Congregatio: I came up with a traditional Christmas turkey recipe here... and I realized that we’ll eat pork in the oven :)

[ + 21 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122420
 29.12.2015
2014 year.
Dmitry Rogozin: “We are not going to shoot ourselves in the foot.”
Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin expressed his opinion on Western sanctions against Russia and measures to neutralize them.

The year 2015.
Dmitry Rogozin shot himself in the leg.
Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin accidentally injured himself in the leg

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122419
 29.12.2015
In Nizhny Novgorod due to electricity debt stopped trams and trolley buses

Obama, stop :-) Give the electricity back to Nizhny Novgorod!!! It is ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122418
 29.12.2015
History of 19208

We study magical phrases: "Take your private life, there will be no time / desire to go into someone else", "I, as a woman, shoe dresses do not owe you, but I like myself", "I know how to have fun without alcohol", "dance with me I do not advise, I will give you your legs", "children will start when I decide, and not when it is necessary" and so on. This is my gift to you for the NH. Learn to keep the hams at a distance. With the coming.


[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №122417
 29.12.2015
Grandma at her 80s is very clear and sharp on the tongue. Every time I am in a dreamy-heightened mood, she must say, say, Nesmejana has been amused, who has routinely cut off? The strangest thing is that she almost never makes a mistake.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122416
 29.12.2015
"Everything is really simple. Everyone’s contribution to the family (financial, labor, moral) should be the same.
Both must earn. Earn at about the same level. At home, of course, both should work the same way. No division into "male" and "female" work."

Here is fucking. Everyone should invest as much as they can. Do not count "let you wash the dishes and I wash the floors", do not come up with complex efficiency coefficients, but stupidly clutter for the common good. And when both members of the family understand this, the family remains strong for many years. And when one spouse believes that he is a person, not a servant, and tries to sit on the neck of another, the marriage quickly ends in divorce.
Moreover, the principle of honest work does not refute the idea of the division of duties. You just have to go in good faith. At home and at work.

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