Father Christmas, from all tech support and software support, gather all users who can’t read, who "no touched it itself", "I turned it on, and it doesn’t work" and plunge them their phones in... UHO or at least a bag of noise.

I sympathize with you with all of my soul’s thorns!

I am frightened by my boss.
The hostess (director) sutra served candy with cognac... and after an hour with suspicion asked if I did not use it at the workplace, or if it carries garlic. O_O

If Chuck Norris ever comes to death, she will not be able to leave.

Who can we trust now? I looked at the room thermometer for 5 years and thought, “Something is melting badly.” There are two thermometers in front of me. The old one shows +12, the new one +21. And I couldn’t understand why it was earlier at +16 I was warm, and now at +20 somehow not very.
Tell me the psychic’s address. It is time to occupy.

xxx: 95% of the population are idiots
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I have never met any smart people.

But I wonder if it is possible to cut the sausage or cheese with a shredder?! to

At the recent South American championship, Chilean Brian Carrasco applied an interesting football technique. He tightly grabbed the hand of his opponent, the Negro Ecuadorian Fernando Gaybor, and struck himself in the face.
It is noteworthy that the judge believed the simulant and appointed a penalty on the side of the Ecuadorians.

and Chuck Norris. You can everything! Help me to meet a person worthy of life, the second half!

Commentary under photo:

Dinarka, you’re going to shrink from what I’m going to say)) and it won’t be a compliment)) I clicked on your ave to look at it more deeply, and while the computer was squeezed a bit, I turned to the TV. When I turned back to the monitor I almost turned from the chair of fear, because I felt like I had a large-scale girl on the monitor from the call. Make it brighter and happier.)

Yesterday I cooked a tea cup with soda... did you drink tea from it at all?? to
Yes, there is a temperature of about 100 degrees - all the microbes die
I thought the taste was so strange, and it turned out to be dead microbes.

Talk about the fact that in Irkutsk right in the city made a ski slope.
Q: Do you have any hills in Peter?
A: We have a level. The steepest slope is the pandus in the clinic.

Education is better not for those who know more, but for those who know at least something.

Family New Year is approaching!
In every family, various light and strong drinks are already packed and await their hour.

The use of glass bottles with traffic jams in a few years has revolutionized the storage of all wines. These wines were very different from their modern tires. Descriptions of these wines are rare, but we know that Bordeaux wines were pink, not red; that Volne, the most elegant wine among modern Burgundy red wines, was pink almost until the end of the eighteenth century; that in Champagne from year to year no one knew what colour the wine would be. However, it was in Champagne that the next step in the history of wine production was made. As in many cool climatic zones, Champagne wines have always had a natural tendency to sparkle brightly. This sparkiness is the result of the action of temperature, which slows down the process of converting natural grape sugar into alcohol. The remains of sugar continue to roam slowly, while producing carbon dioxide.
Almost at the same time, another ancient secret was discovered - the miraculous properties of fungal mold "Botrytis". Wine makers in Tokai, Hungary, missed the usual time of harvesting berries due to negligence and were forced to make wine from berries that threatened to dry out in front of their eyes. And they got a wonderful wine with a new taste, a wonderful elixir, which was soon honored at the table of the French King Louis XIV.

If non-drinking Muslims were not obsessed with the idea of finding the elixir of life, we drinking Europeans might have learned nothing about whiskey, cognac, vodka and other distillation products that are so important in our lives. Alchemists of the East sought the elixir, and as a result invented the cube of propulsion. This useful invention is in
Europe, where at first the local doctors of the Faust naively followed the vows of their Eastern counterparts and also used the cube exclusively for scientific purposes. The alchemists suspected the existence of the "fifth essence" (in Latin "quintessence") in literally every second substance, and therefore the cube was all in a row. The experiments could have continued for a long time if there had been no wine there. Alchemists heated it to the temperature between the boiling points of alcohol and water. As a result, the alcohol came out in the form of steam and again gained a liquid form with a strength of about 60 degrees already in another vessel.
The elixir of life became a legend, and it was told to children for the night instead of a fairy tale.
In France, the Arabic invention originated mostly in the province of Sharrant, where with its help something similar to the current cognac was created. The charrants would have produced the erzac of their now famous drink, if some charrer Jacques de la Croix-Marron, who abused the alcohol of primary distillation, had not had a nightmare.
Shevelle dreamed that the devil himself had appeared for his soul and, in order to get what he wanted, threw Marron into the boil, but without success.
(I got to drink, shorter to the white, alkas) Then the devil ordered him to throw his caretaker into the burying "bath" again, and at that moment the swallower woke up in a cold sweat. After a bit of reflection, he shouted with a joyful cry, “Evrika!” He rushed to the exorcist, arguing that if the devil was able to get a human soul only after the second boiling, then the best juice from the wine can only be taken after the second exorcism. The liquid obtained as a result of double distillation was called eau-de-vie - "water of life".
– – – – –
Well, and about vodka and Mendeleev you know everything yourself.

Happy New Year!! to

Economist Petrov, who appeared to the New Year corporate with a video camera, unexpectedly the next day, for the promise to immediately destroy the disc - the original with video shooting, received the following material benefits:
Increase salary by one and a half times (from the boss)
- travel to Gelendzhik (from Anna Petrovna – chairman of the trade commission),
- 29567 rubles is all that was in the pockets of Petro Ivanovich,
Yesterday with Anna Petrovna,
- a bottle of French cognac (from the driver Volodya and the accountant
the gallows),
A long, promising kiss (from the secretary of the boss).

As a child, I could not normally sit on the toilet after watching a Soviet film, where the hand comes out of the water!!! to

A lecture on thermeh, a huge audience, the lecturer tells something loud. Students are half asleep. From the distant sides, louder than the lecture for the entire audience, someone’s conversation is heard. Prepod is silent, the conversation does not stop.
A wooden sign with a characteristic sound beats on the table.
Crying from the back of the pants: "Fish!!!" and :DDD

I work on the railway by the poet Vau: what, do you read the poems to the trains? I don’t write this, so I rarely go home.

I realized we had it forever when she stopped shaming in my presence... :)

The requirements for the weight of the girls have been tightened. now 90-60-90 and up to 60 kg.)
YYY: all their criteria of what they wanted, they provided.
Height of 90
Length of 60
Length of 90
Weight of 60
Let him take his parallel.