bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109003
 05.02.2015
Well, let's also stir up the joke on the topic "They are sewn from the center and do not shake the canyon only the debil".

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №109002
 05.02.2015
I add
------------
You have had little milk.
— — — —
Especially for the children of this century, I remind you that in the USSR sold a device called the milk guard. In real, it is a metal foam, which lay on the bottom of the pot and began to drizzle during the first stage of boiling, before this your "ah th $#@!" %)
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Not precisely the sound signal to alert, but also the vibrations to beat down your pen, so as not to escape. Yes, and so that milk does not spoil longer, a piece of sugar was thrown into it, so it will not slip in the refrigerator for 2 days longer.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109001
 05.02.2015
If my grandmother had eggs, she would have been a grandfather ?
If it were not the case with the gasoline, my grandfather would have been my grandfather too.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109000
 05.02.2015
YYY: Cognitive Technologies and KamAZ have announced the start of a project to create an unmanned truck. The total cost of the project is estimated at 390 million rubles.
XXX: I know how they want to do it.
XXX: They will launch him into the track in Archangelsk and 250 kilometers later they will catch him and let him go to the next.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108999
 05.02.2015
Down the subject of GMO and independent! Tell the story of Warlock and his descendants.
If the shredders and odines are over here, leave the cats!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108998
 05.02.2015
Listen, I can’t figure it out... I started looking for restaurants on the map – they have everything in Yaroslavl with a prefix "I": Yarpivo, Yarpizza, Yarburger... I can’t understand, "Japonsky", is it sushi or still Yaroslavl ponchiki?? to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108997
 05.02.2015
I work in a team that causes cognitive dissonance: Kartavtsev's colleague normally pronounces the letter "r", Chernyayev's colleague is fire-red, Borodayev's colleague is smoothly shaved.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108996
 05.02.2015
You can write your bitrix on Yii.
In PHP, you can write your Yii. In C++ you can write your php.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №108995
 05.02.2015
here
You talk about the poor.
Themes are brothers. and po
The neighborhood war. there
people are killed. Just so.
You have bananas ears.
Close up and make nonsense.
— — —
The companion! This is a humorous resource and there is a must-have here. You wrong the address.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108994
 05.02.2015
X: When a rabbit was brought to Dr. Aybolit, whose legs were cut off by a trampoline, he stitched him new legs. Attention, the question is: where did he get them?
Maybe he was driving that tram.
X: Mmm, yes, Ahuen business in principle
Fuck you both.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108993
 05.02.2015
In his student years, the fellow student loved to troll people who boasted about their intelligence and tried to make everyone around him smart. He seemed to turn into the conversation unwittingly: “It’s like in the ‘Master and Margaret’ in chapter 35, remember?” All the bookkeepers cheered joyfully and remembered something about the 35th chapter, which is not in this book at all.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108992
 05.02.2015
The month on the fifth I read the calendar of pregnancy by weeks: "This week the baby is already hearing you, you can talk to him". I long persuade dad to talk to the child, he is anxious and runs away somewhere.
15 minutes pass, I no longer remember the conversation, as Daddy appears, stands up over me and commands: "Develop your legs!"
I: "Why and why?"
Daddy: "I will talk to him!"
I was convinced that the child could hear so well. No more stupid ideas at all.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №108991
 05.02.2015
In fact, feeding rats with GM soybeans has already revealed serious liver mutations and a sharp decrease in fertility, an increase in mortality, and the third generation is simply infertile. A pleasant appetite.
____________________
I know this mule. We feed the rats with the same product, not bothering all the biologists' displays about the need for nutrients, vitamins and trace elements (you came up with what! Monodiets are stylish, fashionable and youthful!) And then we gladly report on its value. Similarly, sodium glutamate causes blindness - it is enough to bring its share of "only" to 50% in the diet - from ordinary salt at such a concentration, the rat will die on the third day in the crust.

And in general, try something similar with supposedly "healthy food", for example, eat exclusively ecologically clean and genetically complete carrots - you will tell us in six months about the consequences of protein and calcium deficiency, as well as the excess of vitamins of group A. Humanity will be grateful for unleashing the myth supported by corporations about the usefulness of vegetables. The medication is at your expense.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108990
 05.02.2015
FoxGray: And I also signed the subscription that for 10 years no one should tell what the polygraph was going on :-D
by Zy. 10 years passed

CostanTM: They followed you and turned around :-D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108989
 05.02.2015
The pop-up window of another online toy:

"Do you already have 18?"
Tagged with "no"

"Are you ready to become a pirate and become famous for the world?"
Tagged with "no"

"Wait, your answers are checked... Registration is checked..."
...
......
............
.........
............
"Thank you very much! Congratulations, you can start the game immediately!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108988
 05.02.2015
here here :

"The Battalion (just like that, with the Yatem) The first. The female. It is immortal."

The idiots! When is? When will you learn how to distinguish the yat (ѣ) from the er (ъ, it is a hard sign)?? to
Feel the difference: the word "chelovѣкъ", the first letter is yat, read as "e", the last is a solid sign, it is ER... Well or to be more accurate - erъ.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108987
 05.02.2015
Discussions of female characters of Soviet cartoons in Japan

I remember trembling on a small flower.
2: I can understand a lot, but shake on a little flower... :)
Please try the flower ;)
There was a master at all. Quite a questionable trickle. Of course, it’s a matter of taste. – ROFF

And a screenshot of a monster...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108986
 05.02.2015
My Aunt Irene:
In fact, feeding rats with GM soybeans has already revealed serious liver mutations and a sharp decrease in fertility, an increase in mortality, and the third generation is simply infertile. A pleasant appetite.
-----------
My aunt remembered. You took the rats from the line with an increased inclination to cancer, fed them exclusively with legumes (which the ratkeepers in place would have bitten for), and they eventually developed cancer. Such a miracle!
Send a greeting to Uncle Gil-Erik, we also remember him.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108985
 05.02.2015
About the topic "not so heard"
My nephew from the generation of iPhones/tablets for a long time thought that the song "Hope" is related to military hackers: well, the word is there "clothes and computers under the ground and the reward for courage"!!! Whose truth he never understood.


[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108984
 05.02.2015
It is long
= is
Pylons... Pylons of the Suck... these urds called six for dancing Pylons.
The six is the sixth, and Pylon is the sixth pyramid or crystal in Starcraft. But the fool is called six pilons.
You are just imbeciles...
= is
One word can mean a different meaning called this "homonym" example "three apples — three stronger!" a classic example of CIST. Pilons are used in aircraft construction, which is never a pyramid. The forgotten Wikipedia.

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