bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25573
 04.02.2010
Daddy told me a funny story :)
He worked on the building for a very long time, did not drink, did not smoke, and on that day there was a celebration. Well, in short, one of his friends ate heavily in the middle of the working day and the check just arrived. Well, my clever father placed him asleep in a hole in the middle of the construction site, and himself near this hole began to dig something like that, so that the inspection saw that everything was okay). But what a foolish grandmother, she saw in the window from the upper floor of the neighboring house a picture of a man lying in the pit, and next to the second man mashed with a spade))) She called the police in response. And here comes the picture: my father is digging with a spade, the bean comes in, it begins to be crushed, the pit is wrapped with a ribbon and then the drunken body rises from the pit and with a very drunken voice:"bring someone water..." and then cut out))) Everyone was in the hole))))

[ + 93 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25572
 04.02.2010
Here is this:
xxxh: we came to the office from the pelemene company a tasting of pelemeni made))) and the smell of a creature incomprehensible sits half the pelemeni and dropped all the question arose who it was and immediately on the aske from the sys admin came thanks was delicious then we saw it for the first time in 2 years)))

You have a great expert, take care of him!

[ + 37 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25571
 04.02.2010
Do you know how little boys differ from men?
Are they not fucking girls?
Men’s toys are no more expensive.
He: Oh yeah
Girls are expensive.
She: It is very expensive.
They are not cheap, they are expensive.)
She: Sasha doesn’t spend money on me at all.
She is a fool!! to

She has left #programmers

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №25570
 04.02.2010
iGlyuck: I’m going to the street with a friend today. He is looking for a room for rent. We see the announcement "rental". He calls from my phone at the number in the advertisement. Agreement for a meeting. He puts a phone, gives it to me and asks me to keep the number.
iGlyuck: I record on the machine.
iGlyuck: Now I look at my recruited "Nicolas Rental World"

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25569
 04.02.2010
lizaar
What is Lyudmila’s password from the base?

Evgeny
Now "beautiful" and was "Crocodile90"

lizaar
Has she changed her feelings after marriage? ?

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №25568
 04.02.2010
by Mion-sama x3
Talked to a girlfriend. She told me a case when a friend threatened to fuck her, and she was so indifferent: "The condom in my wallet..."
Why do you have a condom in your wallet?
I don’t know if somebody will need to...
by xDD

[ + 75 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25567
 04.02.2010
komrad (16:44:57 3/02/2010)
Where will Batley be?

++++++++ (16:45:52 3/02/2010)
on Saturday

komrad (16:46:16 3/02/2010)
Fuck... and when?

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25566
 04.02.2010
seen in the block:
One car drives the other on the wheel. On the back of the car is a property...

[ + 46 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25565
 04.02.2010
Fuck the girls, the people, the Baaash!! I had such a trouble, all day in Ahuya! And the danger can threaten everyone! Bring it to the top, everyone should know it!
I was sent a slide (set for soldering a solder) from the site new-technic.ru... and the PURCHATY POLYETYLEN does not crack in it, and the air flows from one pipe to the other! No one else broke out!! Be careful!
:' and (((

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №25564
 04.02.2010
X: What about the phone?
YYY: He’s in jeans, I can’t hear him.)
XXX: You are not in the area of action!
Yyy: right, the jeans are in the laundry.
Fuck it...

[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25563
 04.02.2010
And in the morning, Cap shaves as sharp as a shave with a shave.

[ + 103 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25562
 04.02.2010
Yesterday my boyfriend just killed me. xDD
by Eva?
Anna: I fought with him on another pointless occasion, well, I told him in my heart that he was not a man, but a grandmother. So then he gave me "I am a grandmother? Yes, I’m going to be a pure man now!"
Anna: Do you know what he did?
Eva : What? XDD
Anna: I picked up my bags and went to my mom!!!)))

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №25561
 04.02.2010
How to speed up Windows XP?? to
Develop patience in yourself!! to

[ + 17 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25560
 04.02.2010
Two parallel lines do not cross because they do not know the existence of each other.

[ + 47 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25559
 04.02.2010
Excerpts from real negotiations of air inspectors (D), flight managers (RP) and pilots (P):

Somewhere above the endless spaces of the Krasnoyarsk region.
The striker, confusing the buttons, broadcasts: "Who sleeps... and my line!“?”
After a few seconds: “65615 line did not take!”

Here is another radio conversation. There are no main flights, annual parachute jumps are performed from the local regiment. RP himself is a former pilot, and his attitude to this event, like most of his colleagues, is sympathetic. Some flying board (An-24 or 26) asks for permission to fly over the point.
The RP responds: I allow. Are you okay at 4500? People are throwing down here now.
From the boat: You understood, 4500, I will not swear. Finally paid for mine.

The MiG-25 crew asks:
“Can you allow the passage of your point for 20,000 meters?”
“One minute...”
“Do you know where I’ll be in a minute?”

The English-speaking pilot, after a long wait, finally runs to the runway and then discovers that there are two dogs on it.
P: “Wish, mja, I have two dogs right in the middle of the strip.”
D (not very good in English): “Sir, confirm your message: are two dogs eating in the middle of the lane?”

Last year, on May 9th, in the MFA.
P: Moscow-Podhod, aeroflot XX, in set 3900, signed 10100, on
and Berlin.
D: Aeroflot XX, Moscow-Path, pick up 10100 and return with victory!

[ + 47 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25558
 04.02.2010
How do girls with very long nails, sorry, pop wipe out?
Hm... You have come close to understanding why glamorous girls
We need these little dogs.

[ + 110 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25557
 04.02.2010
25 January 2010
Those who have been hit by the frost, we will take "+", and I will bring you warmth.
The weather is always yours.
_________________________________________________________________________

Don’t believe February 2. + 2 to + 5.

[ + 114 - ] Comment quote №25556
 04.02.2010
Which wire to cut: red, yellow or black?? to
What are you doing with my dog?!!! to

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25555
 04.02.2010
God of Life
by Masha! Stop working!
Mary is
has finished
Mary is
I continue to work
God of Life
OO
God of Life
How is it?
Mary is
by hands

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25554
 04.02.2010
She: But when my MP took care of me, he read to me Lermontov, Blok, Vasnetsov.
I: O_o No, Vasnetsov wrote great things... But to read it, and even by the mouth... This is a breakthrough!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna