Y: We have a calm child.
X: You didn’t hear him scream!
Y: It is not with me.
X: But here you offer him something when he doesn’t want it.
Y: He calmly tells me he doesn’t want to.
M: And you offered it again!
Y : Why? I understand from the first time.

The Friday. At work in the morning I approach the elevator - the line is no longer, only one from the neighboring department stands.
The elevator enters, we load, and here another rushing body crashes into the door of the building. The man from the neighboring department cries, “Come quickly, we’re waiting for you.” The man ran through the hallway to the elevator, and the neighbor put his leg to stop the doors that had already started to close, but failed. The door, having hit the shoe's nose hard, almost dropped it to the floor, but did not stop. The neighbor turned to the side at an angle of 45 degrees, the further fall was suspended by the fact that his shoulder leaned to the wall of the elevator near the control.
- Let me press the button - I say, pushing my hand between the neighbor and the controller and, going to press the button that blocks the closing of the door, second-hand I miss and press the one that closes the door rapidly.
The elevator crashes sharply right before the nose of the man who managed to reach the elevator, and we leave.
Two idiots are power.

This is the career of David Spirit once every twenty years to film in Secret Materials.
No, he still read a poem in our advertisement!

HH: Well, why all the nasty nonsense, and not this article?
WOW: Because this article is a nasty nonsense.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

If a woman's face is written "dumb", then even plastic surgery is powerless.

Calling for rain

- So, yes, - the boy rattled in the chair, sitting more comfortably. My father has another family. There is my sister, she is four years old, as I understand. My mother pretends she doesn’t know about it. But the woman is still waiting for her father to go to her, because he apparently promised. Sometimes he asks a question. Then he runs out of the house and goes to talk to her. Sometimes even at night. In our family, this is called "CP on the object". But at all, he won’t leave, I think, he’ll just keep shaking her head. My younger brother DCP, they once came to you with your mother, but you probably don't remember. His brother's head is fine, he is in second grade and he is already playing great on computers. But with the legs, not very much. And my mom all thinks there is somewhere such a medicine or something else to cure it completely. She rides him on horses, because it is among the decapeshniks considered to be the worst, and spends money to go to Crimea to the dolphins. The horse is scared and falls from them. And about the dolphins, he said to me right away: here is my end, I will drown. And they also went to the witch in the Pskov region, she took the spoil from Lenka. And my grandmother has cancer, and she is always treated from it - sometimes in the hospital, and sometimes with folk remedies.

And you? I asked.

“And I’m itching all the time, and in school two,” said the boy with readiness. (Neurodermatitis between the fingers and the neck I have looked at before.) What would you advise me? How can I fix everything? In general, is it possible?

I don’t know, I honestly admitted. Probably not can. How can you cure your brother's DCP completely?

So what, did I go? He stood in a chair.

- Ah, I'll tell you the story of the "Call of the Rain."

and well. I love stories, he scratched his neck with his nails and prepared to listen.

It happened a long time ago, when there was the USSR. One of my Chinese acquaintances was on a business trip with colleagues in China; they studied local customs. And one day a Chinese colleague calls them: "In one province there has been no rain for four months. The crop is dying and people are starving. Three villages collected the last money and decided to bring from another province the "challenger" of rain. You will be interested to look at him. Just keep in mind: I told you nothing, because the Communist Party of China strongly disapproves of witchcraft.”

The scientists, of course, were inspired, urgently came up with some ethnographic occasion and went to the specified address. They came to the village, and on the same day they brought the "challenger" of the rain - a small dry old Chinese. He asked for a cottage on the outskirts of the village and a cup of rice a day. He refused to talk to our scientists. The village chief said: Now the wizard needs to concentrate, wait until he does his job. You can stay at my house.

On the third day it rained. The old man took his (huge by local standards) money and settled on the back (very unnecessary) path. The chief again sent him the request of the scientists. This time the magician agreed to give them some time.

- Tell me how you caused the rain, - immediately, in order not to waste time in vain, asked the old man my acquaintance. Is there a special ritual? Is it inherited?

Have you gone crazy? The old man was amazed. Did I cause the rain? What am I, Mag? Could you think that I, in my littleness, could control powerful elements?! to

But what did you then do? The Chinese disappointed. The rain is coming...

“Nobody can change anyone,” the old man said, raising his finger. Everyone can control themselves. I, without false modesty, have reached some peaks in this art. And here I came here, in the right, harmonious state, and saw that everything was wrong here. The order of things is broken, the harvest is lost, people are in despair. I cannot change that. The only thing I can do is change myself, that is, become wrong, join what is happening here. That is exactly what I did.

Well, and then what? Where is the rain?

Then, naturally, I worked with myself, bringing myself back to the right state. But since I was already one with everything else here, it was with me, gradually, with some inertia, but returned to the right path. And right for this land now is its irrigation. That’s why it rained. Not because I “called” him.

If it’s so simple, why did you take so much money for it? One of the scientists asked. The peasants had to sell their last shirt to pay you.

“Because I’m already an old and weak person, and when I join the disharmony, I get as bad as everything around me. Voluntary transition from the right state to the wrong - it is very expensive - the rain caller sign showed that the audience is over.

On the same day, he went back to his village, and the scientists went to Beijing.

The boy was silent for a long time. Then he asked:

You didn’t just tell me that, right? Do you think I...

and exactly. And you don’t even need, like the old Chinese, to join and drive yourself into general disharmony. You and your brothers and sisters are already there. At the same time, this is not all yours personally, because you are smart - so telling about the family at your age may not everyone - and, judging by the medical card you brought me, in general, absolutely healthy.

How do I get back to my “right” state?

It is stubborn and even fanatical to do all that you think is right within yourself, but you haven’t done so far.

The boy thought again.

- That is, to teach before the blue lessons, - indecisively he started. - In the morning - gymnastics for yourself and Lenke, then shed cold water and Lenka shed, do not eat chips, keep the diet that a dermatologist advised, after school with Lenka in the park on a bicycle (he rides better than he walks), do not count all in the class fools and find in them merits, as my mom advises... And you think it will help?

“There is such a simple thing as an experiment,” I shrugged my shoulders. Try it in practice and it will be clear. If you do not catch it, you will warm up.

How much should I try?

- Well, if you consider that the Chinese trained for 50-60 years, and he took three days, and you are just starting... I think that first you need to take three months, and then evaluate the intermediate results and either already score on all this, or continue... So it turns out that you will come to me with a report immediately after the summer, in early September. well is?

“Oh,” he said and left.

I remembered him and was deeply concerned about his success. At this age, it is very difficult to do something consistently for several consecutive months without any control from the side. Will he be able?

He signed up on September 2.

and Lenka! He told me from the threshold. My mom thinks the horses helped and the medicine from Germany. But we know him and I told him about the Chinese. He knew he was smart.

It is great! I cried out, thinking that hardening, training on a bicycle and the attention of my older brother were simply obliged to noticeably improve the condition of my little brother. And yet another?

The doctor said that she has a good remission, and he will leave her for at least a year.

And you?

“I just finished the year with two-three, and Dad recently said he didn’t notice how I grew up, and maybe he has something to learn from me. For example, on a diet to sit (hands were clean, I noticed it right from the threshold, but in the summer is always an improvement)... So what, it turns out, this Chinese thing really works?! to

Of course it works, I said firmly. Did you not prove it yourself?

Katherine Murashova

Putin has broken the economy, soon there will be nothing to eat.
“Wan, you’re 32 years old, maybe you’re already going to work?
Mom, what are you starting again?

Studies by German psychiatrists have shown that every third Ukrainian journalist is as foolish as the other two.

I look at the job on the unhappy rate of the dollar, next to the schedule news column.
I sound them out loud:
In December, inflation in Japan reached 0.2%
Japan has introduced a negative interest rate, this is how they want to inflation at least 2% a year.
In Russia, inflation exceeded 14%
He listened carefully and said seriously:
"And you know - they need to send Chubais with all the nanotechnologies, let it help to disperse the economy"

From the article on the drug site: "For these purposes you will need ordinary aspirin or its cheap analogue - acetylsalicylic acid."

“If you translate Lena’s personality into numbers, how many terabytes do you think she will pull?
I think the discs are enough.

(from the podcast from the role forum)

What if I poured the selective drug Ciceron into tea?
Did you think I was making tea?

Programming training tasks:
Find the number of numbers containing just numbers, and among them - the number of numbers with equal number of just and uneven numbers.

There is something like a housecrack. found now. Why and where did he come from? The shape of Romb. Is it useful or not? Need for whom?
A useful and often asked question on this topic. It makes sense to put it back into the car.

I went to a conference and suddenly one of the lecturers turned out to be a musician of one old but very cool and original band that collapsed in 2012 and a fan of which I was in college. In order not to miss this opportunity I approach the lecturer and ask with a breath: "Can I take a photo with you? I grew up with your songs.!"What was answered:"Oh girl, and I got older on them...Take off my camera."

Ivan Petrovich Prokotikov, writer of prose. He talks about rabbits and cats.

Oh, sorry I won’t play it. some time. I and the Witcher 3 are still out of play.

WOW: Did you buy it?

HHH : No. Imagine I’m here, and he’s still lying out there.

- 2 animals in a salon weighing up to 8 kg together with transportation are registered
- two animals - yes, but it must be either 2 dogs or 2 cats, and Murka and Tuzik cannot be on the same flight
- 100 years have passed, and nothing has changed - the man with the swallow then also was not allowed on board, I had to save the wankino ring with a diligence

xxx: Installing a full-fledged screw on the phone will create an ecosystem in which all devices from smart devices to notebooks and PCs will be bound, and lift the mobile division of Microsoft out of the pit.
YYY: Surely, he only has to smoke out of the pit.

In my memory there was still a wonderful task: aquariums of different capacities, something like 8, 5 and 2 liters, you need to pick up 4 liters of water. The Olympic response is to tilt the 8-liter and pour half the water, orienting along the edges. One in 50 people thinks so.
NoNoNo
One of the fifty. While you will pour half of the 8-liter, I will take it twice with the 2-liter and salt in the 5-liter. It will take 10 seconds and no chance to break the 8th. With such tasks and decisions, it is not surprising that the Motherland is in one place. Colibries are untouched.