But putting a hamster right in the morning cappuccino is invaluable!

It’s better with a hamster :)

I’m watching a National Geographic documentary and I don’t know what I like about the movie.
I listened.
Soundtrack from Heroes of Might and Magic III.

Imagine how the translators of product descriptions on AliExpress suffer:
Oh my God, this is a crap! How to describe her?
- Per, the "washing net, a very soft net for the body, a woman's shower net"?
and well. And the coat then will be "Natural women, sheep winter fur".
It is genius.

A fucking bunch of people claim that the strongest motivation is in the person who wants to go to the toilet. I do not argue. Only here produces a person with such motivation is basically shit, sorry.

xxx: Remote administration via satellite
XXX: Pain and Suffering
XXX: Pings per second
YYY: Remote administration by phone is even better.
Yyy: Penguins Going for Lunch

xxx: Oh God, now even the staff department is stunned by the horoscopes. There will come a cool special, non-conflict, not an alchemy, and to him HR says: "That's how you are a great specialist, but your Taro natal map does not fall into the coordinate of the energies of Uranus under Capricorn. We will call you back."

No, what a charm. The height is 2 m 1 cm, weighs 110 kg, and this rumble with a shy smile is called Vasya Koshchkin. He is just like a child cartoon hero, if he did not exist, he would have to be invented.

"And a smile, without a doubt..."

Everything is fine here, and spelling, and puncture, and dish!

I move to another department, on the same floor, in another office. Farewell to the girls. Tears, cries, hugs, cries: “Who are you for who you have left us, how are we without you?” In the same spirit. I wrapped up, went out, came to the new office, remembered that there is no place to hang clothes, I return.
Can I hang your clothes in your closet?
No, she died so dead.

>>> Why can’t you wear shorts in summer? The people of the south do not understand, explain.

Don’t try to understand the logic of a man who always walks in clothes with the same set of pockets and thinks everyone should do so.

I regularly read the local news site with users’ comments. Of course, sometimes I also comment on the news. I had to receive responsive comments such as "you are terrible", "you don’t have a man","go to the kitchen" and other humility of nearby comrades trying to devalue someone else’s opinion. I started writing under a male nick. I write the same thing on the same topics. Where are the answers like "you are poor", "you have no sex", "go to make money"? And not them! This is the first time that they were named "the sub-bullist," when she punished a man for a shame against the unknown heroine of the post. So what? Who said there that "in Russia equality, what else do you need"? Just try subscribing to forums not "Sasha", but "Masha", and enjoy the tons of shit that devalues you.

The 85-year-old grandfather does not buy LED bulbs: they serve for ten years. I will not live so long.

In Europe, the most frightening picture for a pack of cigarettes has long been found.
Which one?
– €10

At work, firefighters flooded us with hot water. Now everywhere smells of moisture, old tree and boiled onions
Like my grandmother in the village
Q: Did you have a fire? O_O
xxx: No, the firefighters were just in one building, on the side of us, and the pipe was broken. As a result, we flooded a basement with equipment and goods. From the equipment were only broken comps, but from the goods - seedlings of onion X)

If you smelled like Papa Carlo for the last 3 months, without seeing the light of white, grabbed and reworked the tueva bad stuff for yourself and for that guy, in a burning cottage, a horse racing, stood to death, won gold medals for yourself, the family and the whole great country, and decided, finally, to rest on the weekend... Well, how to rest? So, simply, and quietly: stumble with an interesting book, watch a long-downloaded masterpiece film, drink a bottle of cooked excellent wine - for the sake of all the holy! Do not tempt! Because necessarily at the most inappropriate time will be a alarming phone call, long-forgotten distant relatives will fall on their heads, aliens will arrive, enemies will attack - whatever it takes. Do not believe? And you read that interesting book, and look at the long-downloaded masterpiece film. This plot is not new and is probably there for spending.

Elves just fall in love with a dog. You live like this, you think of looking after a rottweiler or a mastiff there, you monitor breeders with serious puppies on the desired characteristics, somehow everything is not that... and then in the store you accidentally meet the eyes of a pup with a puppy of spitz and it is your dog.

Always keep yourself in shape is not difficult, you just need to periodically order the shape for a larger size.

XXX: Does the site Rostelecom stop everyone?
YYY: Well for me, the client of Rostelecom, the site every time exhibits a random city of the area and asks and you are exactly crazy in Uryupinsk?? to
YYY: So you can expect anything from them.

...like corn from a bench...typical smell of acetone...
You don’t buy more corn in that barrel for the chance.

It is bad when not women, but men are filled with this. Throw a girl "not ready for a serious relationship", she cried, went to look for one who was ready, found, lives happily in his Kukuevo with the body of his husband on the couch - and suddenly from the ashes rises the throwing, he was under "not ready" meant "not earned on the iPhone, Paris and the shirt" and all these years earned, now mature and now meets in rage that the lady of the heart for a long time everything is well and not with him, because she was a man nearby needed, and iPhones and shoes only in the ass to push these "accessors".