bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124720
 22.02.2016
Better not
"We strongly recommend insisting on the tincture."
a "We insist on insisting on the tincture"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124719
 22.02.2016
The dialogue:
I recognize the master’s hand.
and whom?
Their own!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124718
 22.02.2016
M: - Ah, little girl, you don't know how to treat yourself(( Well, how a child speaks the word, "heartzzo" do you see her?
J: No, it really hurts. Feeling that burns the mucous membrane in the mouth, even the tongue. Aloe can be. Here I will try him.
It is not interesting to treat. I would pour it with pine oil and rinse it with alcohol. "Do not give the disease a chance!" is called.
I remember when you dropped this oil in your nose from the cold. And as it got into the middle ear, it was deaf for a month.
M: That is it. My father burned my warts with a bull. I took away. And the tattoos of the army of the untouched veal "sveal" - this is our man! I’m afraid to tell my mom about the oil. She will immediately make them a cliché for a test)))
Yes, you have a dangerous family for treatment!
M: - We have all hard - either healed or free!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124717
 22.02.2016
From the recipe:

We strongly recommend insisting.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №124716
 22.02.2016
The young fellow:

Very busy accounting. OS classifier delivered: it turns out camels and donkeys can be put on the main assets. The elephants cannot.

You are like a little boy!
Staff as the primary means.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №124715
 22.02.2016
As a child, I prayed for a bicycle. Then I realized that God worked differently. I stole my bicycle and begged forgiveness.

by Al Pacino

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124714
 22.02.2016
No, you imagine the wire today stated: space on the disk is running out, free up space, otherwise I will not be able to further squeeze the disk with all sorts of updates sources. Well, it’s not normal that the winsxs directory already takes 10 GB. There was no such shit with Jobs.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №124713
 22.02.2016
In Copenhagen will be installed 380 “smart lights”. Their aim is to provide favorable conditions for buses and bicycles. For cyclists always try to keep a “green” corridor.
First comment: on a big cap (or cyclist) and in five minutes in any part of the city:))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124712
 22.02.2016
St. Kitts: in the kitchen in a closed pot were pasta. The cat broke into the kitchen, climbed on the plate and began to grumble with the lid. I go out to whisper the ninja, he as usual has already dematerialized, but here is a miracle: despite the slightly scattered pasta on the floor, which was not before the arrival of the cat, the pot stood on the plate with a closed, completely untouched Ooo cover.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124711
 22.02.2016
I play the Akinator. Jean asks questions:

1."Do you feel sexual attraction to your character?"
2."Is your character a man?"
3."Does your character belong to the immediate surrounding of Stalin?"

Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh! I want Molotov!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №124710
 22.02.2016
As a child, resting with my grandparents in the village, I stumbled upon a canister of brownies. It smelled good and I decided to try it. As a result, the six-year-old compot enthusiast rained madly, and grandfather and grandmother could not understand what I was poisoned with.



Years later he told them the truth, and it was necessary to see with what solemn appearance the grandfather shouted, "I said it was not I who drank it!"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124709
 22.02.2016
Just struck the debt builder, who considers everyone who loves steamed food to be unable to cook. Burning is not a "bad burning", and another technique, such as compot, is not a "bad juice", but another drink.
And then suddenly this ignorant begins to learn to steak steak... and about the preparation of meat in 60 degrees water for several hours did not even hear. After it, yes, a piece of meat a few centimeters thick is prepared in a few minutes. Without it, it will be just a burning gray wrap.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124708
 22.02.2016
Here come the children with the husband, trying to congratulate our factory grandmother. No matter how! And in general, your flowers have taken the vases, and the cat loves to drink from them..", I had to explain that he still has a leake and 2 of his vases in operation, the rest is prohibited, and in general he eats roses. It is godless :P
Then there was a slightly criticized table, with tribute "A little like that... you don’t think?(Al honestly, the table was broken with cakes and cakes, all sorts of salads, salads and even (oh horror!(which is forbidden to use :oops :)
In general, up to 15 grandmothers methodically and systematically exploded the brain of everyone, including the chinchilla, who had the aversion to sleep in an unnatural posture, and even during the day!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124707
 22.02.2016
To the little fan of fiction, give Hamilton, "Star Kings." I started reading at his age, and at the age of 30 one of my favorite books.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №124706
 22.02.2016
We had a predecessor - Romanov Vladimir Ilyich (excellent man, by the way). Well, he joked sometimes, “I have a very practical FIO. The Red People will come and ask who I am, and I will say: Vladimir Ilyich! White people will come and ask who I am, and I will say, Romanov.“”

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124705
 22.02.2016
In 7th grade, he participated in a charity event organized by the school. My task was to feed people with their own meals.

My mother and I have baked a huge amount of blend from the very morning on three plates alternately, because all the action must take place in one of the courts of our district and the people were expected to be dark.

Eaten three feet of centimeters under 60 in height, boldly packed in all sorts of blankets and towels. After that, I drove the whole thing to the place of the sanskrit. The incident occurred in Maslenica and it was a terrible frost.

I came to the lawn, I was placed, I got one straw and put it on a plate as a sample, began to wait for the starving.

The minutes went like the clock, I started to bump and to warm up eaten a hot blend.

Minute by minute, when there were some competitions and the people pulled in the rows with meals, I was already frozen and was about to go home, at the same time giving the clothes to the coordinator, but at this moment came to me a whisper-calling with a microphone.

What is there with you?

Delicious, delicious and with oil. Do not take something.

and clearly. and now. He went away.

A few minutes later, he began to praise my clothes in the microphone and it started!

I am an advertisement-inspired person, but, as it turns out, people around it are quite the opposite!

People came as if from a hungry country, overthrowing me with money and asking for hot shit. After a few minutes, I had difficulty giving up, because the frozen fingers broke from the hot blisters.

All three feet of blink went away in 10-15 minutes. I am standing, all my pockets are filled with money. Running up, how is it?

Everything was resolved. Hands are burning!

is excellent. Try your delicious blends.

On my plate is only a pattern.

Everything was resolved. I’m showing you a bored blender.

Okay, let me melt this hot coffee.

I was ashamed that I didn’t reject someone for advertising.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124704
 22.02.2016
I love women like coffee.
Drink it cold and without sugar. O_O

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №124703
 22.02.2016
Discussing the religion of parents and children.

XXX: I have a grandmother and mother believers. My dad and I are not special. Probably I passed this in my genes from my dad xD Oh I can’t =) Although not. My father is a bit of a believer. I am throwing up!!! to

yyy: B###, the transmission of faith by inheritance. Mendel walked out in the sunrise to grow the grain of the glory of Allah.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124702
 22.02.2016
For what my girlfriend can, I forgive her what she can’t.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124701
 22.02.2016
Discussion of ReactOS 0.4 on LORA:

Oxdeadbeef: Can it be in x86_64?

Jedi-to-be: Maybe but not yet.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna