bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №109803
 23.02.2015
I work as an electrician. A regular customer does not go for a day to pick up the car. The client is fun and with humor. I send him a SMS:
I’ll be like in the mafia movies where the fingers shuffle... I’ll be the first to send the wheel in the tofu, and you’re like it.and "
is discharged:
I read a wife, in historical laughter she slips on the floor. Don Carleone fucking :)"

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109802
 23.02.2015
Congratulations dear defenders!! All the best and best of you on this day and always!!! to

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109801
 23.02.2015
Down the wage slavery! Let the chickens from the accounting office list the ZP in three dozen different banks! Long live the hour of judgment!
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
I live in the wasted west and here everyone opens an account where they think it is necessary, and the accountantry transfers the salary to everyone in different banks without ever knocking. Because for accounting, this is not difficult - when employed, bank data is entered into the system and everything goes automatically. And you probably still have 95 years in the yard, every time you have to kill everything manually, until you disassemble the puddle no time.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109800
 23.02.2015
And 5 more copies about the tradition of kissing hands
Chinese Empress Wu Hou of the Tang Dynasty introduced a duty for courtiers in the courtyard label, thanks to which the "blowing of lotus thistles" was raised to a high level. She forced all officials and officials to show special respect for Her Imperial Majesty through Kunnylingus.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109799
 23.02.2015
I will reveal the third and last secret:
I'll uncover a male secret: the hands sometimes stick strong enough, especially if it's not a little boy. A strong man’s handshake, and all that.
— — —
I will reveal to you a second secret: by the handshake it is immediately clear whether it is strong because the hand is pulled by a strong man or because the fool has wanted to penetrate with his "male power" (for in nothing else he can prove it. Complex and all that.
— — —
Normal people regulate the strength of the handshake depending on whom they hold the hand. "Strong men", will you break your old grandfather’s bones too? No is? And why?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109798
 23.02.2015
The IMHO's whole fight with kissing the hand is related to the fact that someone has a "bomb" from the fact that a woman is engaged in business. At the same time, the majority of the disputants never attended business negotiations, but they know exactly how to behave there, even without knowing the context.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109797
 23.02.2015
XHH: Yes, and I wanted to ALABAY before) And now I think I have enough cats, I understand them at least and know how to raise them more or less...
Would you say Alabama? Are you bad? Or are you smart and will you ride on it?
I saw him and I liked him wildly =) When he ran out of the dark street, smelled and ran back...
WOW: Such a small dog whose cheek is at the level of your chest, right?)
Then the owner came out of the street and asked if Genghis had scared me. And I, with a trembling voice – no, how can such a babysitter scare? x )

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109796
 23.02.2015
Do you not feel humiliated when you wear your shirt? Do you paint your lips? This is somewhat feminine. Give your hair in your arms and on your legs, so that it is more brutal. May God not confuse you with normal women.
Z is. In my opinion, if a woman cannot benefit from being a woman, it is a genetic defect.

I don’t feel humiliated in pants, in a shirt, washed, with makeup, with hair and without it. I feel humiliated when I am ticked into distinctive signs, declared a second-class person, and offered to take advantage of the body, not the head.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109795
 23.02.2015
I add :
Therefore, you can be assured: if you find someone like me on your life path, and you stretch out your hand, then I will press it like any man. With the same force. And without hysteria, equality is equality.and ;)
__________________________________
Exactly the same? Or will you still try to break the fingers of a woman who dared not to bend under you? Because the hands of men, I have not once (and not only in the Russian Federation) and I will say - no special force is applied there.
— — —
In 10+ years of holding my hands at work, only 2 times I’ve been grabbed my hand so that I almost got tears from my eyes. Both times, as it later turned out, were comrades, focused on suppressing everyone around them and asserting themselves as alpha males with all who are equal or lower in rank (hello, complexes!). The upper ones, even - even women, they did not grasp their hands so much, because they were scurvy (with one of them had a pleasure to compare personally - before and after the promotion). A strong handshake is simply not to serve a dead fish instead of a hand, and not a competition for who breaks whose fingers.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109794
 23.02.2015
I went out with my husband and child to watch the night. A drunk man came to me.
What are you on the street? Why Why?
We walk.
Who told you to go out? Where are you going? Why Why?
The answer is "going" and is not satisfying. Then the husband says:
We have ordered you!
And you know, it helped! Zavis looked at us carefully and stood behind.

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109793
 23.02.2015
Talk about motivation?
In the early 80s, a chemist took our class in the early spring for an excursion to the factory, which was our boss, to watch the dome. The factory was old, built in the middle of the 19th century, but it worked well at the time. And I was a young man, then all about the BAM, then about the construction of Komsomol, then all the class to the factory, so I could go on any affair for the company.
We are issued passes, and we are so clean, the territory is huge, we come to a small workshop, which is more than 100 years old. The floor is virtually earthly, the room is unheated, there is almost no light, there is a small dome around it, a few dirty men in dirty slats swirling around it, the engineer came out, dressed a little better than the men, began to rub something, and I don't hear him. I look around with horror and realize that I will be studying, studying, and studying to work in a warm, bright room at the table.
I am grateful for this tour of our chemistry all my life. and :-)

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109792
 23.02.2015
In general, I will give up my seat to a pregnant woman, not because she is a woman, but because she is much harder to stand than I am. By the way, for the same reason I would offer my place to an old man or a disabled man, and not to a fifty-year-old healthy aunt. I will help the girl to bring home the shopping, but not because the man has to help the woman, but because she is hard and I would help a friend, or parents. No one should be late. and so on.
And all unwritten rules, such as those that say who should enter the elevator first, or in the door, who should go to the right and who to the left and the like are absolutely useless and can be ignored.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109791
 23.02.2015
"Come and I will learn. A sharp cooking knife. In 10 minutes you can divide a person, and you are a bulb!

Do not go there guy!

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109790
 23.02.2015
"News": "Russian tourists stopped travelling to the Czech Republic in protest against sanctions"

I thought it was expensive.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109789
 23.02.2015
Advertising in Modern Journalism

Dura is that. Sometimes on a planner in one edition (we will not advertise))) gave a journalist a topic about what the usurian psychiatric hospital (!) took the first place in Russia for some positive indicator there, such as the introduction of new methods of treatment. Director of advertising how let us say: "This is the same psychiatric hospital. You have to pay for it".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109788
 23.02.2015
Religion attributes miracles to God. Science studies much more wonderful things that He actually created.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109787
 23.02.2015
Therefore, you can be assured: if you find someone like me on your life path, and you stretch out your hand, then I will press it like any man. With the same force. And without hysteria, equality is equality.and ;)
__________________________________
Exactly the same? Or will you still try to break the fingers of a woman who dared not to bend under you? Because the hands of men, I have not once (and not only in the Russian Federation) and I will say - no special force is applied there.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109786
 23.02.2015
Sorry for calling you fat. I thought you knew.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109785
 23.02.2015
A yearly quote:
Quote from the law on the "recommendation hour"

In St. Petersburg, it is not allowed to find minors regardless of the time of day in places where the presence of minors is prohibited.
******************************************
If anyone has watched the 2012 series about ninja turtles, they know that Crangy is talking about the same way (you are forbidden to do things you are forbidden to do) and they occupied New York. From this quote it becomes clear that the Cranks occupied Peter, and that the turtles are sinking in the St. Petersburg sewerage.
Hence the conclusion: the real names of ninja turtles Shishkin, Aivazovsky, Levitan and Vrubel.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109784
 23.02.2015
Enjoying the life? Do not forget to pay!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna