bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №14548
 17.02.2009
<xxx> girls take pictures of their breasts to us on February 23... type of gift
<xxx> but only if we are on the 8th of March
<yyy> and I have a photoshop.
<zzz> and I have a gimp)))
<xxx> eye, and I have x@y

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №14547
 17.02.2009
When you do not boast of yourself, it is time to start to boast of others.

by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №14546
 17.02.2009
Recently my son distinguished – on Mother’s Day the teacher told me to draw

children portraits of their mothers, well, and my in the picture of the neighbor's party

He also scratched his breasts. The child wondered what you would say. But the teacher

I decided to show my pedagogical talent and called me to school.

With our joint efforts, we tormented my boy with tears of repentance, and when

When I got out of school, I added a backpack. So they returned home –

I’m in front, behind that clutches. On the road, we were caught by a friend.

In the sanctuary, he took. Dialogue along the way:

What a hiccups?

I painted my breasts.

to whom?

of one mother.

I found something to worry about. When my son was in the first class,

I painted a horse. He painted as he could. The teacher returned

The title is “Draw what is missing.” The boy often

In the forestry there was, there we have horses, slugs with cows, well,

Not thinking long, I decided that there was a shortage of shit. And I painted. well

I painted, a fool, with a sense, you can see that with knowledge of the subject. I am on

The next day the teacher showed me when I was called to school. on this

The painting of the horse is just an appendix to the fox. It turns out that it should have

Drawing the tail. A fool could not just write that he didn’t.

The tail is enough. She spoke to me as if I had painted that shit.

And you are the breasts... Oh, sweet!

I see my boyfriend had fun. Don’t give god now the teacher will force the children

On the 23rd of February, fathers will paint... In laughter!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №14545
 17.02.2009
Can’t you remind me who I am: a frog or a frog?

It’s the fifth time you’re asking me!

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14544
 17.02.2009
Connect the 13th apartment to the 13th port on the swing, on Friday the 13th, and think that everything will work...no, it’s too hopeful))))

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №14543
 17.02.2009
Macao (12:07:41 13/02/2009)
I wrap you so.
I (12:08:43 13/02/2009)
No No No No No No No No No No
Macao (12:10:12 13/02/2009)
You are so beautiful that you think so much about yourself.
I (12:11:45 13/02/2009)
Go on, little boy!:D
Macao (12:12:44 13/02/2009)
You shut your mouth old and terrible.
Macho (12:13:16 13/02/2009)
How many years have you lived in Sarai?
Macao (12:27:37 13/02/2009)
Are you a virgin?
Macao (12:28:50 13/02/2009)
Do you love sex?
I (12:28:52 13/02/2009)
Go shrink at the porn magazines that you hide from your mom under the pillow. I told you to fuck up!
Macao (12:30:08 13/02/2009)
How do you know about magazines?

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №14542
 17.02.2009
15.02.09 by Vladislav
I remember yesterday (standing next to the pizza one moment) tried to order a pizza to the house at the pasha in order to catch a aunt when she is in the car sadizza will and break to bring along with the pizza))))

15.02.09 Who is:
The fucking. We will survive anywhere.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №14541
 16.02.2009
A second-class son was put in a diary. In order not to be tempted to correct, our teacher writes all the time in bits (Ed.). But we have a smart boy and decided to fix it, and not as smart as to fix it on 4, the brains were only enough to correct it on 3. Of course it was dirty.
I am what?
The son is three.
Why I am in the edge.? to
Son - You understand mom, everyone wrote a checklist for two, and I was one for three. I wrote three to the only one.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №14540
 16.02.2009
Quote from the book "The Child and Carlson"
Gay-hop, rich, and beautiful, and smart, and in moderation
The man at the height of his strength is me, the best Carlson in the world.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №14539
 16.02.2009
Protocols of divorce proceedings:
He is constantly dragging all kinds of shit into bed: the neighbor, the postman, then me.
- How to live with her, if she is a snake not by the Eastern calendar, but by life!
My breasts were swallowed! He has his finger there where others have what they need!
In people he is a fairy prince, and in bed he is an Ivanushka fool.
He betrayed me with whom I got before I got married when I was pregnant with his friend.
She rejoiced as a little girl when I sat on a cactus and broke the gloss with my head!
Why did I go out for him? Well, I think, since a man is drunk every day, it means he earns decent money!
"I met my husband for the first time in the toilet, where he was taken by mistake or drunk.
"The neighbor offered me to sleep with him quickly naked to his wife, whom I also didn't love and agreed.
It was only after the wedding that I understood my grandmother’s words: “Measure seven times and try once.”
- Heavy bodily injury did not cause her, but only slightly softened the tampon with mustard.

[ + 114 - ] Comment quote №14538
 16.02.2009
By clicking on the plus of this quote, you automatically send a request to SOTON to burn the souls of those who will fast on Bash any hnu about the "Ranetek".

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14537
 16.02.2009
Yesterday in the news of the MTS breath probably frozen
Eggs are always the first to freeze ?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №14536
 16.02.2009
I went to the pharmacy today. There, like in all pharmacies, the cat sits at the entrance. I go to the pharmacist without a back-thinking and immediately joke - I will take you out of that cat. Yippidy yi yippity yay. Typo joked, and then remembered why I came and added: and a package of context. I didn’t immediately realize that a confusing situation came about.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №14535
 16.02.2009
He re-read the early stories of Strugatsky (the future of the end of the 20th century is described), and at the same time the criticism of those years (the 60s).
Particularly entertained someone Y. Gorbunov with the article "Will people of the future say so?" and a few like-minded people))
and----
Ah! Oh oh! and ahahah! Listen to how the heroes of the story say: "- Don't rise to her, goat!", "- Erundu will take over.", "morda"...
They call each other "servings", "badmen","blind branches", "treepers", "small ones"...
"Go to the hell!", "It is! It was "Kabbalah! We are happy!"
and----
Would you know Y. Gorbunov, that the people of the future will speak "Yah shrewdly", "Kill yourself apsten from the run", "Drink jadu", "Huyase" and call each other "scuconahami", "ebanaurotami" and "the horse of the blade"...
A poor man would kill himself with a poisoned barrel.

[ + 53 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14534
 16.02.2009
Today I eat a banana. Doyle, I want to throw out the skin. I would have dropped it exactly where it got (they will still rot in a week). But remembered a guy with a cigarette, brought to the rubbish. You don’t know what you’ve done, you’ve done the excitement.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14533
 16.02.2009
In Windows 7, you can open two Windows Explorer windows, drag one window to the left edge of the desktop, the second to the right. And voila - before you some kind of interface file manager. You can copy, move, compare the contents of folders.

In 2008, Microsoft invented the Norton Commander.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №14532
 16.02.2009
Legolas> they still had a vacancy for the assistant of Sisadmin, reduced to about the following: a young green jungle of fishing shun, must drive aircraft carriers, liners, submarines, deck fighters, strategic bombers, experience in the open space is welcome...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №14531
 16.02.2009
i.n.v.i.s.i.b.l.e (22:19:28 12/02/2009)
I was recently in aesthetic shock.

Skrynnikoff (22:19:43 12/02/2009)
How beautiful you have replaced the word

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №14530
 16.02.2009
The recent weather:
In winter, the peasant celebrates... at +10 he opens his umbrella.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14529
 16.02.2009
and Salakhov:
If I compare my inet with an animal, I would describe it as an old turtle dying from dehydration with a broken leg.))))

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